Tag Archive: Transvestism Crossdressing Relationships


So you are a TV who is trying to understand why you are as you are? You are also trying to explain to others who you are. You need a glossary of terms to help. But first you need to identify what ‘box’ you fit into and from there seek others of a similar persuasion. My first reaction to this is don’t bother! I have met so many Trannies over the years and I can honestly say I can rarely find two that are so very alike they form a perfect category. Just like how we move from Boy to Girl mode so our reasons for dressing are very fluid. However I do see some similarities between all of us:
  • Firstly we like the freedom and sense of identity we achieve from letting the girl out. suddenly the grey man gets noticed for the person they truly are
  • Secondly we achieve a type of nirvana by throwing off the masculine expectations of society and exposing the female side which allows us a form of deep relaxation and satisfaction from balancing our character
  • Thirdly we love the appreciation that we get in the knowledge we have put a lot of effort into this persona. This can be in public or on-line.
  • Finally there is an intense form of excitement derived from the fact that we can approach life in a new and fresh manner when we dress.
I aimg_2894m worried in these posts that I may be going over old ground and at risk of repeating myself, however whenever I am out with ‘Les Filles’  (sorry I have a problem with the terms girls, women and she, just not me!) the overriding topic of discussion is about what drives us to do this and how we feel about it. Probably it’s the male side essentially trying to solve a problem which in order to do so needs have a profound understanding of why a particular action occurs. We do like to find solutions and gain better understanding don’t we!
So first we have to look at the myriad of definitions for ‘Trans’ beings exist, at least in order to talk in a coherent manner. In my research it was quite funny how the words Transvestite and Crossdresser were considered old and derogatory terms. It feels as I said in my last post like we are being marginalised and that we almost offend the Ttans groups by blurring the pitch!
Thee are so many definitions about the Trans world (the BBC has a simple one) but I would like to try to give you my best understanding of the key segregators relating to us and I defer the Berkeley College offering with a few changes to suit my own understandings
Agender – A person who is internally ungendered or does not have a felt sense of gender identity.
Androgynous  – A person appearing and/or identifying as neither man nor woman, presenting a gender either mixed or neutral.
Asexual – A person who is not sexually attracted to any gender.
Bigender – A person whose gender identity is a combination of man and woman
Bisexuality – A person who is attracted to two sexes or two genders, but not necessarily simultaneously or equally. This used to be defined as a person who is attracted to both genders or both sexes, but since there are not only two sexes (see intersex and transsexual) and there are not only two genders (see transgender), this definition is inaccurate.
Cisgender – A person who by nature or by choice conforms to gender/sex based expectations of society (also referred to as “Gender-straight” or “Gender Normative”)
Crossdresser – Someone who wears certain items of clothing (not fully made up) associated with another gender for part of the time.
Drag – The act of dressing in gendered clothing and adopting gendered behaviours as part of a performance, most often clothing and behaviours typically not associated with your gender identity. Drag Queens perform femininity theatrically. Drag Kings perform masculinity theatrically.
Gender Fluid – A person whose gender identification and presentation shifts, whether within or outside of societal, gender-based expectations.
Genderfuck – The idea of playing with “gender cues” to purposely confuse “standard” or stereotypical gender expressions, usually through clothing
Genderqueer – A person whose gender identity is neither man nor woman, is between or beyond genders, or is some combination of genders. This identity is usually related to or in reaction to the social construction of gender, gender stereotypes and the gender binary system. Some genderequeer people identify under the transgender umbrella while others do not.
Heterosexuality – Sexual, emotional, and/or romantic attraction to a sex other than your own. Commonly thought of as “attraction to the opposite sex” but since there are not only two sexes (see “Intersex” and “Transsexual”), this definition is inaccurate.
Homosexuality – Sexual, emotional, and/or romantic attraction to the same sex.
Intersex – Intersex is a set of medical conditions that feature congenital anomaly of the reproductive and sexual system. That is, intersex people are born with “sex chromosomes,” external genitalia, or internal reproductive systems that are not considered “standard” for either male or female. The existence of intersexuals shows that there are not just two sexes and that our ways of thinking about sex (trying to force everyone to fit into either the male box or the female box) is socially constructed.

Pangender – A person whose gender identity is comprised of all or many gender expressions

Pansexual – A person who is fluid in sexual orientation and/or gender or sex identity.
She-Male – An *offensive term* used to refer to MTF trans individuals by the sex/porn industries to objectify, exotify and eroticize the trans body
Transgender –  people are those whose psychological self (“gender identity”) differs from the social expectations for the physical sex they were born with. To understand this, one must understand the difference between biological sex, which is one’s body (genitals, chromosomes, etc.), and social gender, which refers to levels of masculinity and femininity. Often, society conflates sex and gender, viewing them as the same thing. But, gender and sex are not the same thing.Transgender people are those whose psychological self (“gender identity”) differs from the social expectations for the physical sex they were born with.
Transsexual – Refers to a person who experiences a mismatch of the sex they were born as and the sex they identify as. A transsexual sometimes undergoes medical treatment to change his/her physical sex to match his/her sex identity through hormone treatments and/or surgically. Not all transsexuals can have or desire surgery.
Transvestite – Individuals who regularly or occasionally wear the clothing and make-up socially assigned to a gender not their own, but are usually comfortable with their anatomy and do not wish to change it (i.e. they are not transsexuals). ursula1
Funny how we came last on the list! Of course when you come to the Transvestite community I believe there are always further subsets, just nobody has got round to looking at them. From my experience there however There are 6/7 key traits that exist. They are not categories and not mutually exclusive just strong drives that dominate many of our dressing sessions to a greater or lesser extent.
  • The Mirror Transvestite – this is the TV who just loves the look that they create principally for themselves. They focus for hours on getting ‘the’ look that is just right for them. It may be the same every day or different another day but something triggers it and the inherent perfectionism in them makes them want to get it just right. If you are a social event these girls will be late because it just has to be right. They come out principally to be appreciated for what they have done.
  • The Social Transvestite – are TV’s who enjoy dressing and being out in a very vanilla environment, particularly during the day. They get a real buzz from being noticed by the general public some because they liek the fact the are creating a bit of a stir and others because it means an element of acceptance
  • The Thrill Seeking Transvestite – these Trannies like to gou out to more fun environment, particularly at night where they can dress in a racier manner and play fun and games with the locals be it in bars clubs or parties. Its not of a sexual nature but being sexy is a vital buzz for them. They have to be seen and appreciated and dress accordingly
  • The Sexual Transvestite – are the ones who want to dress and play. They may be Gay or the act of dressing brings an element of ambiguity to their sexuality but ultimately the want a sexual encounter at some stage in the proceedings
  • The Balanced Transvestite – this babe wants it all! They bring in all the elements. A complete time dressing in front of the mirror, out during the day, party at night and then maybe a romantic interlude. Deny them any part of the experience and the feel unfulfilled.
  • The Quick Fix Transvestite – mainly for the closet TV’s, normally done at home this is the one who needs just an hour or two to let the girl out purely to relax and calm down. For these its a coping mechanism probably whilst the partner is out that sates the beast within but not for long!
  • The ME Transvestite – the one who wants to talk about themselves to understand why they are like thy are and to hog the conversation. WAIT A MINUTE THAT IS ALL OF US!

If you can think of others I will amend this article accordingly, its not fixed in eyelash glue!

OK thats enough from this genderqueer, hetrosexual, thrill seeking transvestite, just hope it gives you a basic lexicon through which you can all chat to one another. XXX
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Trannys of the world realise that Transsexuals represent a real threat to your identity. I know it’s an eye catcher but people are getting us so mixed up, but in reality we are worlds apart. This applies even more so in recent months because there has been an explosions of Transgendered stories in the media. The acceptance of the TS had now moved over the Tipping Point. They are now a hot topic, which I am sorry to say we will never be! People such as Caitlin Jenner, Laverne Cox and Kelly Maloney  have all hit the headlines and their bank accounts by coming out and exposing their lives to the assembled media. As a result they can get their story across that says ‘I was born a man but have always wanted to be a woman’. This is an easy concept to grasp and explain, however our Tranny narrative is much much more complicated and difficult to get communicate.two women
How do we explain to people who have never experienced the feelings we get when we are completely transformed for the first time. How can you say to someone it juts feels/felt so right. Its innate to me. I am in a frame of mind that allows a hidden side (my so-called feminine or femme side) to emerge and I feel so calm, relaxed and yes, sexy when in this vogue.
Susie my partner who runs the  Chateau Femme dressing service likens it to the times when as a teenager she felt such a transformation of herself when she put on adult clothes, make-up and heels. In effect she was no longer a child. She says she felt so different and sexy. This was part of her becoming a woman. It felt so right to the ‘new woman’. I can identify with some of that but you have to add the layers of sexuality and the complete release from the restricting bonds of maledom for a short period of time are also part of that high.
I have alluded in my previous blogs about sexuality and what it means. In this case it does not mean that you are dressing for erotic purposes, though many do get turned on (this is called Transvestic Fetishism), nor is it about your sexual orientation. What I mean by sexuality is the capacity for you to move down a female route that can blur the male and female sides of our personality. Yes of course we can have sex in girl form but that does not necessarily relate to our inherent gender which to Transvestites tends to be  Male Plus (or should that be Male Minus) and this does change your sexual perspective.
However to say the words ‘sexual perspective’ immediately implies a Tranny has changed their sexual orientation and this is where the understanding of the Tranny goes soooo wrong! Yes I would agree that we become more playful and that our attitude to both sexes is not black and white but inside us is a fun-loving person that somehow, through a different look, is allowed us to approach life in general with a much more open attitude. It is as if somebody took the shackles of the ordinary day folk off us and allowed us to examine and experiment with the whole gamut of experience. We like the blurred lines between male and female but only for a short time.
Because we in effect are  ‘Gender Queer’  and fairly fluid (almost schizophrenic) in our persona it is very difficult for us to be understood or accepted. Society likes to put people into boxes Male and Female. In particular  TS’s even tend to look at TV’s as a lesser being than they are. You are not a real woman like me!  The problem is their issues are with gender but yours relate to a temporary change of mindset and the two are rarely good bedfellows! We queer the pitch for TS’s in what they see as their struggle for acceptance. They feel, with their recent acceptance, that we are now hanging on their coat tails, when in effect there are so many more TV’s than TS’s and they were quite happy to join with us before they gained their own identity. I don’t think we really seek acceptance in the way they do, we are looking for appreciation of how we look, because tomorrow we will be Bob again. Our dressing actually gives us a much stronger personal identity than that grey-haired man in the corner of the pub with the half of lager. We get noticed and we enjoy the acknowledgement and ultimately the fun of pushing this barrier!IMG_0838
Oops just re-read all that and realised its sounding like a psychology degree thesis. What I am trying to say is that it’s not really clear why we dress and where the motivation comes from. Almost every Tranny I know has different reasons for doing and a different route they arrived at dressing. But the one thing most of us have is that from time to time it is an incredibly strong motivating factor in our lives and we are constantly seeking a new experience
As you know I have been a member of several TV groups as well as  seeing the  many TVs that come through Chateau Femme. The vast majority of girls come here because they have an innate want to dress as it releases another side to their persona. Dressing gives them a new lease on life, a different perspective that allows them to be someone different for a short, fun period of time. They love that change of mindset that allows them to look at life from a different sexual perspective. They can relax more, they feel more in tune with themselves by casting off the expectations of society on what a man has to be. Because they are being nonconformist in their nature they do not have to adopt society’s social moires, instead they can be themselves. For some like me they like both the boy and the femme side and endeavour to keep them quite distinct. For others they start to take on more and more of the femme side into the male world and create a type of androgen that allows them have a certain harmony between the two sides.
I am also convinced this desire gets stronger as we age and our testosterone levels decline so a different balance of male and female hormones exist in our bodies. I also maintain as we get older the work/life balance changes, the kids fly the coop, we become more objective about life and don’t worry so much about society thinks. We realise we have been depriving ourselves of something and want to try a new route. So we take stock and realise this is something we have put off that we need to try. For many this embarks them on a roller-coaster ride that is full of fun, anxiety and intense personal analysis. At the end of all this turmoil we tend to come out and say ‘THIS IS ME’ like it or not. To some this acceptance takes many years to others the first time they dress it says everything. From there some do go down the TS route realising that is another layer for them or that purely they just feel better living as a woman instead of the high social pressure of conformity to the male world. For others its just a great bit of fun. TS’s are in turmoil we are party animals.
The TV is a player, a fun lover who just enjoys the pastime of being the girl. In its early stages you can see that teenager who likes to experiment with aspects of their sexuality. It can push you down routes that you may initially see as fun but ultimately realise are not you. There are a lot of dead ends in this voyage of self-discovery.. A TS tends to know where her ultimately goal is. The TV is constantly striving to find out why they are like they are, constantly asking questions, trying new things and exploring infinite possibilities thrown up by the femme side.  For the TS it’s a real-time change they desperately want to be. For the TV its a real buzz to explore new horizons and new experiences, to boldly go….! (By the way that is the most famous split infinitive) It’s a war of two very, very different types of people who appear on the surface to be similar but deep down are worlds apart.480px-A_TransGender-Symbol_Plain3.svg
The worst thing for a TV is that so many TS’s start as a TV or with a TV group only  to disown the ‘girls’ she met as friends because she feels that now they are not genuinely like her and are not part of ‘normal society’  I have seen it on too many occasions and it hurts that people we befriended helped and trusted now kick us in the teeth. We TV’s hate this and feel let down as we helped someone down their path but are now rejected for being freaks or disingenuous. So girls stand up for the TV and make sure you say I am a Transvestite not Transgendered! But our time will never come…hurrah!
How do you tell your partner you are a Tranny? It is so hard to explain what you are feeling and why you are as you are. The first step is to start communication between you. So this is a letter to the partners of Trannys not for you girls. Hopefully it is something you might pass on to your partner or adapt as you see fit for them to read, but only if you agree with it as its only my perspective and something I wish I had had the courage to write many years ago!
Dearest Darling,
I wanted to start this letter with the words I am sorry for being a Transvestite. But that is wrong, it’s not true. What I am sorry for is hiding it from you. For keeping such an intimate and personal thing from you for so long. For the hurt and loss of trust my revealing a deeply felt desire within me has now literally been dumped in your lap. I desperately hope you won’t be appalled by shock of this revelation and would ask you to read this before passing your initial judgement on me and my activities. I just ask you to approach things with an open mind.Partners Discuss
Let it be said first and foremost that I love you dearly and I hope we can get through this awkward time and come out stronger than before with a better understanding of each other, and hopefully a new fun layer to our relationship. I appreciate it has come as a total bombshell and hope it wont result in a knee-jerk reaction without us having time to talk about it.
 I have not suddenly changed overnight but for a variety of reasons have hidden this from you with the misguided thought that it would help both our relationship and our life. I now know this was wrong but it seemed the easiest way. This side of me has been something I have been simultaneously embarrassed to tell you about and something that gives me immense pleasure. It is something that is innate within me and I don’t believe it will go away. So it is something I feel we must address. I have tried over many years  to stop this drive within me with varying degrees of success, but realise this only creates internal stress and I now have come to accept that it is a part of me that cannot be suppressed.
Let me first and foremost say I am not gay and dress to attract members of the male sex. But I also recognise that I am also not 100% heterosexual either. I see these two titles as either end of a continuum and believe that people are rarely at either extreme we are all somewhere along the route. I also believe that there is a gender spectrum and people like me are fairly fluid between the male and female ends. I do not want to become a woman but I do enjoy dressing and acting the part as it addresses a side of my personality that is unfulfilled in male mode.
My personality does change when dressed  but not dramatically. I hope I retain all the things you like about me but within a much more calmer,softer, relaxed person.  I would like you to see my other side if and when you are ready. But you have to decide if and when. I am not pretending it will be easy seeing your partner dressed up in a dress, heels, wig and make-up but I have been doing it for several years and its time for us to discuss the possibilities of this persona being introduced into our lives in some form or other. It’s not a separate person just another aspect of my make up that comes out from time to time. I have hidden it because I know that society does not openly accept people like me, but at the end of the day I know when I am dressed I am a nicer person. I feel freer and feel less restricted by society’s expectations of me.I feel more complete for having dressed for a short time, not all the time!Shock
I am not a crossdresser as these people tend to be fixated on a particular item of clothing, that’s more a fetish like rubber or leather. Nor am I a Transgender person because I do not feel I was born a woman in a man’s body, just somebody who feels through dressing they can express an aspect of themselves that is normally hidden. I get a very strong natural high from my changeover as it seems to release something inside me or allow an aspect of me that is not normally on show.  I dress because I like the headspace that the girl side occupies and get a thrill from switching. I don’t want to dress as a woman all the time more something I can do occasionally, hopefully with you.
I believe society puts us into strict boxes and this is not right as we both have a male and female side (X and Y chromosomes) to a greater or lesser extent. The problem is that we become stereotyped and then have to conform to those norms. The result is unhappy people unable to express themselves as they see fit. We are called an aberration by some as everyone tries top be ‘normal’. This is particularly relevant in men. Women can wear trousers men can’t wear skirts. Why? What is so bad with us dressing up as well?
Why this has come about is very complicated and I am sure I do not fully understand myself but it is a very strong drive within me. I hope we can discuss this as both rational and emotional beings and find a solution to a way forward. There is absolutely no way I want to end our beautiful relationship but I do know  the girl has to come out from time to time, hopefully with your acceptance and approval, and we have to address the issues this raises. I am no oil painting when dressed but the nner feeling I have is of utter contentmentI so hope we can find a way forward as there is nobody else I would rather share this with than you.
I do realise this could be embarrassing for you particularly with friends and family. You will naturally worry what they will say if this ever comes out but please be assured I will never embarrass you with anyone to which you are connected. I also realise that this will leave you in an emotional void where you feel you have nobody with whom to talk to in order to understand why I am as I am and what you should do. I can help you with many people who have gone through this traumatic time but hopefully the starting point is us.
You may feel that you are somehow losing the person you love or you may wonder who is this stranger because this side of me has been hidden from you for so long. But inwardly I am still the same partner who has been by your side all these years. I have hidden this because I love you. But I realise that at sometime I will, most likely, be discovered or caught out so I have to open both you and I up to the pain of re-connecting in a new way.
You will feel you have been misled and lied to for many years and you may fear for our lives together. You may think that you have heard this happen to others but are surprised when it comes down top yo. You will probably feel isolated as you have nobody but me to talk to about it, You may feel you did something wrong. You did not. This is all of my making and I fully respect if you may be shocked by this type of behaviour and want nothing to do with it. But please give us both a fighting chance.Transvestite and Wife
I hope we can focus on what we love about each other how we can have good times together regardless. and the realisation that this is an occasional thing that might just be a bit of fun. Then I do hope we have the basis for a new and long-lasting relationship. My passions, my loyalty, my humour my intellect, my love for you and the kids will not change, it will just be accompanied by a pair of 4 inch high heels, occasionally!
I appreciate things are not going to be the same but I hope we can change things for the better and achieve a greater understanding and can bring us closer together. It’s also a chance for you to look at what you want from our relationships given these revelations. I will make every endeavour to accommodate what you want. Try me and my new self you may be surprised how calmer and more relaxed I am in my ‘femme’ side. Please give it a chance for all we hold dear.
Sorry I have been absent for some time it has purely been about taking a pause for breath. Sometimes the whole Trannying thing can be too much. It can take over and dictate your life far, far too much. Especially if like me you see it as a great hobby a bit of fun and a sexy pastime. But from time to time it can start to dominate your waking and sleeping moments. You are constantly planning your next outing, buying clothes, deciding on places/events to go to, who to go with etc. It’s all part of that buzz of being ‘the girl’. The days leading up to the event are awash with many alternative thoughts as to what you might do, if you might be recognised, if you might get some abuse, will you really look that good. It’s a heady whirl of fun for a few hours when you relax as the other person.
AppleMark

AppleMark

This is great and just like any fun you have to be aware of it turning into an addiction. If you are not going to move down the Trans route then you desperately need to balance things for your life, your partner, your friends and family. Trannies by their nature are selfish beasts because they rarely get to dress. So when they are in girl mode they want to talk about themselves and their alternative identity to the exclusion of all others. This in the main is because we don’t really understand why we are as we are and we want to find out more about ourselves by discussing it on our terms. We do this because we have limited time as ‘the girl’ and enjoy indulging in it for very very selfish reasons. Its innate within us for sure but very hard to describe why. This selfishness however can have a detrimental effect on those around us.
Susie my partner who runs the Chateau Femme dressing service sees this all the time. With so many girls all she has to ask is how are you? 30 minutes later there is a pause for breath for the next question. How are you feeling? Then 30 minutes later and so on you get my drift? The girls love this release and the chance to discuss with someone their innermost thoughts and feelings which are normally hidden in this ‘Man Up’ world. There is no real chat about the weather. politics, the economy just about the girl inside. This is fine in a dressing situation because it is about the girl and Susie intrinsically understands the need for a release of those pent up emotions. She knows that in reality we can only truly talk about our femme side when dressed and in many cases this is all to infrequent and the bottled up emotions come flooding out as soon as the wig goes on (see my previous post)!
However when it comes to social occasions I find all to frequently that many girls continue with this diatribe to the exclusion of all others in the group. They just have to get it out and try to turn all conversations to their inner thoughts about me, me, me. The result is that you watch the group switching off, good conversation does not flow and it ruins the night for others.
Occasionally talking about yourself is fine as long as it’s not a permanent part of the conversation. You have to start considering others. I know in the past I have had a dammit attitude and this has affected my relationships with others. It is also good to take a long hard look at yourself.
I recently had some time off from Tara to reflect on myself and you relationship with Susie. She was concerned the Tara side was becoming too frequent because she likes the boy side as well. I was concerned that I was doing Tara purely to help her and not really doing it for myself. The law of diminishing returns was being invoked and there was friction. We needed some space to have a good look at where things were going!Tranny Mirror
I was quite surprised how quickly I did not miss Tara. I approached things from a fresher perspective knowing this elephant was not in the room and did not have to plan anything around her, so had plenty of time to get on with the other side of my life. All thoughts of Tara went to the back of my mind and I got on with living and loving! We had no discussions or chit chat about Tara for 2 weeks and she was put firmly away for a month. However as the month progressed we started to talk about what it meant to both of us and we found we had so much common ground that had been lost in a couple of issues we had.
I realised that I had got into the wrong mindset (for me) of Tara and was sending out the wrong signals (unintentional) in the way I might dress and how I acted. Susie saw that she also had taken the ‘clues’ in the wrong way  and that she actually liked the girl side around as well. We came not to a compromise but to a middle way that actually has been so beneficial to us both.
I have now purposely limited the amount of times I dress and as a result as I get a bigger hit. Its the old maxim, less is more, though this should not be applied to the length of your dress!!. I go out less often and we always go out together! The result has put control and balance in our lives as both of us have to chose our timings very considerately and carefully. We are much much happier for this. This I might add was our solution it is not a panacea for all.
You might say this is great for couples but what if I am single? In my opinion the same applies as I have seen so many girls who see the whole dressing side dominating their every waking moment and this in itself causes stress and sometimes depression. In some ways it can be a fill-in for boredom, an extra in a life that may not have sex at the moment, some just like looking pretty, others find the whole mindset de-stressing getaway from the issues of day-to-day life.
But the thing is this is not genuine reality. When you take the wig and slap off you still see the bloke in the mirror and that is not going to go away. What you have to do is enjoy the moment on a regular and structured basis and not let it drive you. Accept that is part of you yes, it is not going to go away by some form of magic. If you are not going down the TS route then this is a fun side of you that happens from time to time. Start for example by saying ‘right I will dress only once a week’ and see what the effect is. Plan the day but don’t get over obsessed as this being the highlight of your week, Just get on and enjoy. After a month look back and see if you are enjoying things more or less and then adapt. But put a measure of control on it for your own sanity!
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This applies particularly to those who are coming to dressing for the first time. That heady rush that you get from realising that this is innate to you, you have denied yourself for so long and suddenly you want to make up for lost time, to catch up with the others who have been out long before you. You realise there are so many things to explore and learn to get out to so many places to meet others. But stop it will happen in time but you cannot let it become your exclusive preserve to the exclusion of all those around you. You need balance and have to reign those desires in and manage the competing demands on your time. Stop being selfish and realise that life is about others as well. Here endeth the first lesson!!!

OK being a Transvestite is not exactly the norm in society but why do so many of us have a guilt complex about being one? I have always maintained that the principle reason for this is that society inculcates and indoctrinates us with certain so called rules or standards from a very early age that we all feel  guilty when we break them. Take for example Religion. At school we had to take Religious Education and in some cases were forced to attend Church/Mosque/Shrine to instil certain beliefs. If we come to decide that these beliefs are false we still feel guilty when we say we do not believe in parts of the teaching that appear wrong. So when we dress and get a certain amount of pleasure out of it we are driven by a sense of guilt that what we are doing is wrong.img_3910

This is based on a fallacious proposition. Who are we offending? What is so wrong with a man to put on a dress after all women wear trousers? High heels were a huge male fashion item in the seventeenth century why are they so stereotyped now? Why can’t a person alter their shape to a more appealing form? Men as as a generalisation have better legs than women why can’t they show them off in a short skirt and nylons I think This is because in today’s society image conscious the man is meant to look, well ‘masculine’and the woman is meant to be ‘pretty’! There are no written rules but a he’ll of a lot of prejudice. If the man should waver into being pretty then it starts to bugger up all the roles and status in society and well it’s just not manly, and woe betide the man that looks prettier than a woman…bitch …bitch! So the reality is its us the Trannies, or is that Trannys, who have to change our mindset and say ‘Sod It Society’ I am an independent free thinker who does not want to offend but finds certain things others may see as so called offensive a totally baseless proposition and, even as a man, I am going to get on with it! Damn your preconceived perceptions of what a Tranny is and does. Denying this to yourself can be bad for your health with frustration, stress and the constant thinking as to when you can next dress distracting you from so many more important things such as your family’s health and lifestyle. It’s a strong force within but no where near the top of things such as a roof over your head and a meal on the table. But it’s still a strong aesthetic drive.

tumblr_lzoe3r6e6X1qj1ijqo1_400The thing for us Transvestites is that we do not have a specific term of reference in the same way as a Transsexual has. In most cases the TS has known they wanted to be a girl from an early age. Transsexuals identify with gender, many say Transvestites identify with sexuality. But I think it’s too simplistic. Put tenTrannies in a room and you will get ten different reasons why they dress. Try explaining why you like to dress to someone and it is quite difficult to communicate the fact that it just feels so right to your inner being. I am amazed when Transvestites congregate around the table there is a very clear understanding between them what they are feeling on the in..side and even though many Genetic Girls might be present they have great difficulty comprehending what is going on inside that crazy mixed up mind. They have empathy but not understanding. This is one of the reasons why wives cannot comprehend why their husband wants to dress, it’s those inner feelings which cannot be explained in words alone. I also think there are other reasons for partners rejecting the Tranny such as mix up of role models in the family and social perspective problems but I have talked about these in other posts, so will not dwell.

What I think motivates this need to dress is that there is probably a male and female aspect to our personality and we identify with both parts to a certain degree in our make-up. I think a Transsexual whilst accepting there may be a small male part to her identifies much more clearly with the feminine side and that is her strongest drive. With the Transvestite the masculine aspect is a much stronger persona but the feminine side is something that has to be indulged from time to time to maintain balance of the whole.The regularity of this of course varies from person top person.

I like both sides but my male side is the more dominant driver through my choice not society’s. Tara is about creating an illusion, a fantasy an element of fun escapism.This is not my own hair, face, boobs, shape, in fact its almost an artform (Oh God Grayson Perry comes to mind here!), But it is a definite fantasy and the male side is the more boring reality. I have always said I adore the change of mindset that comes from boy to femme and that has always been the thing that floats my boat allowing true escapism.  A good friend of mine has found the feminine side has given her immense calm and focus in her life and spends most of her time enfemme! Even contemplating the chop! However she still has to dress as the male from time-to-time for society as her family (and girlfriends) are not as accepting of the female. It’s such a shame so many people still frown about such a small thing.

CHELTENHAM, UNITED KINGDOM - OCTOBER 15: Grayson Perry , Turner Prize winning Artist and Potter, poses for a portrait at the Cheltenham Literature Festival on October 15, 2009 in Cheltenham, England. (Photo by David Levenson/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Grayson Perry

I also love the fact that many from my group of Transvestites move down the road from dressing to identifying that they have a more female dominant part to their persona and then start down the Transsexual route. I feel we have helped them discover themselves and sometimes some inner peace. What pisses me off though is how many of them then become like reformed smokers and look with disdain at their old friends who have not ‘become a true woman’ in their minds and subsequently reject the group that allowed them to discover their new route. Ironically they now look at us as social lepers who no longer conform to their new standards. They ironically have moved back to society’s norms. So hypocritical! Bitch Bitch!

Come on Tara stop bitching and get on with life it’s far too short to worry what others are thinking!

(Ironically I found this letter to Society   from a woman which had me drawing two different thought processes one was good for you girl the other was…I so want to do so many of those things you want to stop).Never Done

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Oh God Time To Purge My Wardrobe Again!

This blog is, as always, really for the ‘novice’ transvestite who has not yet come to accept who they are. It is intended to save you a lot of money and concerns ‘purging’. I also make my standard disclaimer that this blog is primarily aimed at transvestites, particularly male to female who enjoy wearing clothes of the opposite sex, it is not really for TS’s as they are women trapped in a man’s body which dressing alone will not solve.

Purging is the bain of many of us and the cost of it will directly harm your finances! For anyone not knowing what purging is, put simply it is the disposal of your ‘girly’ things (normally your entire wardrobe and associated artefacts) due principally to you feeling guilty or embarrassed about who you are and/or what you are doing. It tends to happen when you start to question why you crossdress and whether you should stop as it may be starting to dominate too much of your life and you are not being manly enough! By taking the clothes away you think you will take away the urge to dress, as you do not have anything to wear. This in turn you believe will not conjure up those inner feelings that dressing gives you. You take away temptation and hence you cannot indulge. For a small few this does work. But as over 90% of trannies will tell you it never really removes the urge and you end up disposing of one wardrobe only to replace it with another.
There are numerous things that can trigger a purge but it is primarily it is in your mind:
  • You are very scared that your activity will be discovered and you will be exposed for the ‘pervert’ you are.
  • Transvestism/Crossdressing is determined as wrong by society and you should be ashamed of what you are doing so stop it!
  • You are incensed that this habit of wanting to dress in women’s clothes is taking up too much time and money and should stop immediately.
  • Its not really a manly pursuit dressing in women’s clothes and laughable from your mates perspective.
  • You are frightened that your secret stash of girly clothes will be discovered and you will be exposed for the shameful person you are…slut!
  • You have just had a brilliant time dressing and think that now is a good time to stop because, it’s not really an acceptable, and that you should go out on a high.
  • Your clothes have been discovered and you have agreed with your partner to dump them.
  • Dressing has now become an unnecessary diversion from other far more important things in life.
I personally have purged on 4 different occasions. 3 were due to the embarrassment/guilt factor and once was due to the discovery of Tara by my then wife. As you can imagine it means I have replaced my wardrobe on 4 occasions probably at a cost of over £1,000 per time! OK it was a cheap wardrobe!
So let’s just look at this whole area of shame logically and rationally. Firstly Society. There is natural bias amongst certain parts of society about many things for example BDSM was totally frowned on now Fifty Shades of Grey shows that consensual play is OK. The Xenophobic bias that is very obvious in British culture fomented by the likes of UKIP. The unfounded dislike of gays and lesbians over the years. Its a fact that some people have bias in their life, but the reality is that the majority of people are far more liberal in their views and say live and let live. By dressing you fall into a small sub-category of life that will cause people to stare purely because you are different. But from my experience most actually quite like to talk to you once they overcome the initial ‘shock’ that you are different because you are different. The second area is your own mindset. I liken it to cars. You buy one you were fairly unaware of and suddenly you see hundreds because your brain is alert to this type of car. In dressing it heightens all the fears above and it starts to dominate your thoughts so you are intensifying the feeling of embarrassment and guilt. As a result you look to a solution and purging is the answer. Bad premise.
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Yes Dumping It Make All The Feelings Go Away!

As I say almost all girls come back to dressing after purging. It is very difficult though to stop, Angela Gardener in the TG Forum has a similar article trying to help people as well as experiences from the Transgendered Forum relating to the cost and virtually nil benefits of throwing out your clothes.  You have to try to come to terms with the fact this is inherent within you. If you feel guilt try to come to terms with the fact that you are among thousands of others with a similar drive. Yes you are not a ‘vanilla’ person but then again who is! You are just like Manchester United supporters, something you do not understand but let them get on with it! Stop moralising it and manage it. Yes in a few circumstances it is wrong, it offends others, I have written about it in previous blogs on how we should handle some of these situations such as whether to tell your partner or not or going to the women’s guild annual meetings!
My partner Susie who runs a dressing service called Château Femme though does worry that if not managed correctly it can become all-consuming and dominate your waking hours. She sees novices who start by dressing once a month to moving to a need to dress almost all the time as its so innate to them. They do not feel like women but do love to move to the ‘femme side’ on a very regular basis. Believe you me I do and love the whole change of mindset as has been discussed in previous blogs. Some of course naturally realise that the dressing is a path to becoming a TS and that the woman has been suppressed within them for so long and it is the catalyst for a new path.
For the most of us the purging does stop when you can finally rationalise your dressing as a fun activity that is not really harming anyone, apart from you (and your family) because it is hidden. You can also start at this point to come to terms with it and realsie the guilt and embarrassment you felt is in reality of your own making. You are making it into a bigger thing than the ones around you do. Except possibly your immediate family which is something you may have to address at some point. But this is a case of timing and preparation. A good article for this regarding coming out to your wife/partner was written in the Chicago Now blog. I also have previous blogs on how we should handle this situation.
Life is all about balance it shifts all the time but denial on one side can lead to frustration on the other. Frustration can lead to stress which in turn makes you irritable and angry. Play between the two parts of your life responsibly and save money! XXX
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Am I A Tranny?

Last week there was one of those interminable discussions on Facebook regarding the use of the word Transvestite and Tranny. How some see this as degrading and others are accepting of it. I as many of you who have read my blog am very accepting of it but I do get tired of people going on about whether it is right or wrong. Just be relaxed and understand what the ‘label ‘ means to the majority of people.
The dictionary or accepted definition of Transvestite (which I think comes more from an American rather than British perspective) is : ‘a person, typically a man, who derives pleasure from dressing in clothes appropriate to the opposite sex’. However in many cases in the definition some add ‘a person who derives sexual pleasure’ to the basic definition. The issue that is always the bone of contention is when the comment issue of ‘dressing for sexual thrill’ comes into it and then some add ‘to have sex’ on top of all this Then the plain and honest dressers throw all their toys out of the cupboard and stamp on them! For my own ten penneth I think we have to distinguish between the thrill of dressing and the act of a sexual experience.
I do get a ‘sexy’ thrill from dressing but not a ‘sexual’ one. Susie who runs the Château Femme dressing service likens it to when she was 17 and went out dressed with her girlfriends on her own for the first time. They all felt incredibly beautiful sexy and randy but that doesn’t mean they were on the pull. It was the elation of getting out and about as they wanted to be, not in the controlled fashion dictated by their parents. The whole dressing experience for them was an uplifting one and so it is for Trannies. Hah! have used the forbidden word again! The former is confused with the latter in the vernacular.
I have always said in the past that I feel sexy when dressed en femme. I do not feel sexy dressed as a man but put those girly clothes on and It’s a rush and a half!
Susie, kind as she is, said I look sexy as a man. But I offered her the idea that she should imagine herself with short, thinning, balding hair, no make-up, cotton bra and knickers, in a t-shirt and jeans and flat shoes does she feel sexy…answer no! Then think of herself with long hair beautifully made up plenty of jewellery a short dress stockings and heels with manicured and painted nails and some sexy silk underwear under all that. How does she feel now? Yep,that’s the sexy feel us Transvestite well I get, not sexual!
Yes of course it may make us feel a little horny but that is part of the whole release of the inner you. Without the rush I get in front of the mirror when I first look at myself fully dressed it would be a deflating experience. I would also couple this to another element which is the sheer sigh of relaxation that Tara is back and the associated change of mindset this offers. LOVE IT!bedTV
But this also leads to that inevitable question that we all ask ourselves ‘why am I like this?’ Why do I feel it is such an integral part of my being that I have to dress on a regular basis and, when deprived of it for a period of time, I can become frustrated, edgy and even mildly  depressed? There is nothing genetic about it so what is it that drives us? This is a time-honoured question which many have looked at, but no one yet has a definitive answer (too much of a minority subject). Therefore any amateur psychologist can have a go. So here is my two-minute personal view on the subject.
I believe there are two routes into transvestism (note not Transsexualism, that is completely different). The first is that it is innate in us. Susie says that in her dressing service about 80 percent of her customers say it has always been there and that they have suppressed it for a long time. Others, like me, had an experience of something or other that triggered the interest/desire. in my case it happened around puberty, and this had a fundamental effect on them and that lead them to dressing. In my case it was a fascination with stockings and tights from a very early age, so much so that my first orgasm was whilst wearing tights. I did not know what had happened (sex education did not exist and your parents did not discuss it) and it left a strong impression on me . Wearing stockings led to experimentation with dressing and so on…
But from there we then go on the whole should I dress and the associated guilt trips of dressing. This can involve many cycles and cross many years.  The reality is that at some point we come to terms with it and accept that it is something within us, it offends few so why the hell not get on with it. Unfortunately for many the sheer embarrassment of being found out, particularly when younger, is a bigger driver than indulging in an activity frowned on by a large segment of society.
With most of us it is a roadmap that has many twists and turns. We all try numerous routes and find many dead ends on our path to enlightenment. But isn’t that all part of the fun? The eralier you start the more fun you can have!
To give you an example this is how it worked for me. As I said in my early teens it started with stockings and occasionally trying on my sister’s clothes. When I moved away from home in my late teens the urge receded with my first girlfriends and the introduction to sex. That occupied enough of my time! I tried on a couple of things but it lay dormant until my early thirties when a playful Sub/Dom night with a girlfriend just clicked on something. After we split I went to a mistress for the first time with a ‘like something different’ request. After 20 mins chat she said ‘I think you are a Transvestite’.  She dressed me and that was that. For the subsequent years I bought clothes dressed in secret got a guilt trip and purged on at least 4 occasions. Ouch, all those clothes and money in a dump bin!
IMG_1715Finally by my mid 40’s I accepted it. This was primarily due to the internet.  I realised there are thousands like me that had had the similar experiences to a greater or lesser extent. I realised it was not going to recede and I had to accept it. I started to go out and my wardrobe grew. It was fun. Then my wife found out and we divorced. It was not the dressing it was the fact that I had lied and kept it from her that had such a shock. Now I am able to pursue it as I wish. But that is just one level. One side issue however has been that as a result of all those years of guilt and dishonesty I still have problems opening up to anyone about it. Even a girlfriend that runs a dressing service! You get so used to hiding things it becomes the norm, and to be honest you are only dumping your years of pent up frustration on someone who really is not that empathetic.
On top of this there are numerous other layers one of which is the whole illicit element of the fact it is ‘not done’ in society. I think many of us actually enjoy that we are different from mainstream society and we are doing something a little naughty and that gives us a thrill as well. Then there is also the fantasy element where us more mature Trannies dress in outfits a 30+ years old woman would rarely wear! Its all part of the complex make-up of being a Transvestite. Listen I even get a thrill out of the constricting sensations from elements of shapewear…such a pervert!
This is why we are so difficult to comprehend and nigh on impossible to explain to the public at large. There is no biological reason for being a Transvestite just a deep-seated instinctive thing inside us that needs from time to time to be sated. For me long may we remain in the ‘specialist’ sector such as Trekkies, Goths,  Steampunk, Train-spotters and the like. We must not be confused with the bulk of Transgenderists. They have an in-built female drive that says they are a woman. Yes Transvestism might be a start to help them down the line of their gender dysphoria but it’s not really a solution. They really need to be female not just feminine. Its a bit like so many Transvestites go to Gay bars primarily because they are more accepting of them than the mainstream,  even though the bulk of Trannies say they are not gay!  It is our personal expression and being with like-minded people who enjoy a similar label is part of our fun!
So that’s my skew on this marvellous sexy life of the Transvestite.  Now I will await the hatred and invective bile from the people who hate the label Transvestite and Tranny. I love them, sets me apart! XXX

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Go On Express Yourself

I have always loved hiding behind the veil of transvestism. It affords me so many opportunities to express an inner self that is for the most part hidden. So many of the ‘girls I meet love the freedom that dressing gives them. It opens so many doors that the vanilla boy could never explore. So many identify with a second person within the one body.

I have always talked about how I can feel my whole mindset changing as I create the alternative persona of Tara. Susie my partner who runs the dressing service Chateau Femme says she sees it in most of her girls and loves not only seeing the physical transformation but also the mental changes that manifest themselves once a girl is dressed. She definitely sees it in me and you can read about all the fun we have had with that side in previous posts!!
I love the whole release from the norms of ‘vanilla’ life. It is a wonderful release. I feel that over the years the strictures of adulthood, my family upbringing, schooling and general attitudes prevalent in society have ensured I was conditioned to be a particular type of conformist. I was never the rebel and life remained a little more prosaic as a result. I recognise now that in order to get on I subordinated other drives within myself in order to climb the greasy pole of corporate life. It is only since I became self-employed making my own decisions, unencumbered by politics or political correctness that I allowed other aspects of my life to emerge and flourish. This has been bit by bit no road to Damascus moment for me.
I was out with a group of girls at the BNO and it was interesting to hear how they got to where they are and had the courage to be out for a fun night with the rest of the girls. Many said that those first steps were filled with trepidation but they had put the barriers in their own minds and they were continually looking at the worst case scenario. Top of that list was being recognised, found out and exposed to friends and family. I am not going to tell anyone to forget this aspect of fear but I would say put it into perspective. You are putting different clothes on, hiding behind a veil of make up and even sunglasses, then going to venues your friends, family and office colleagues never visit so the chances are slim. What I now know was that I feel there was an incredible missed opportunity in particular in my thirties for some great fun!
 Susie says that so many of her clients say after their first dressing they wished they had also done it earlier but they, as so many of us, have decided that retreat is the better part of valour, and how you could possibly tell your partner having hidden this secret for so long! It is impossible to really say there is a perfect way to tell someone (see previous postings). Suffice to say people are more accepting than you think once they get their head around it! But then again it is also a very distracting (and addictive) hobby and I probably would have not put as much effort into my work and family life if I had been having the fun I now do. Ah life is so much about choices!!!IMG_0848
Being able to dress however allows me to break the barriers. The physical act of putting on femme clothes and in my case clothes that many say I am far too old to wear breaks all the taboos and thus releases the ‘devil’ (with a small d) in me. Suddenly the blinkers are off and the freedom this allows me is amazing. Sorry girls I know I am a bad dancer but who cares, that is  the least of my worries! In younger days this allowed me to experiment with aspects of my sexuality as I really did not know why I dressed and how it affected me. Been there, done it, bought the strap-on thrown it in the bin. I always say try everything once except incest and Morris dancing! Nowadays the experimental side has taken a back seat as I have settled into enjoying the paths that I do not regard as dead ends. And there are plenty of those. Oh God there are plenty of those!
So this includes things such as heels that are too high, skirts that are too short and dresses that are far too tight. This can take a frightful toll on the budgets as you are buying clothes for 2 people, though I must say the man budget is less than half the woman’s. As for make up this is getting more elaborate but not in so much of a drag queen way! Instead I watch You-tube try to hide, layer and preen in a more sophisticated way than I did 5 years ago. One foundation…you must be crazy! What is more evident how encompassing things have now become. I have time to experiment. How does contouring work? Is taping or nude bras the best way to create cleavage? What is the best way to tuck?  Is it easier to walk in heels with or without a sway? Etc. etc. etc.
In recent months as Tara has got out on a more consistent basis so it has had a double effect. Firstly it is slightly addictive in its nature as you get an inner excitement from dressing and just love to see yourself dolled up on a regular basis, so you need this outlet. Secondly you do start to feel that something is lacking in your schedule if you cannot dress once a week, the beast needs to be sated…again and again.  This is a warning to all those who either cannot dress as they please or that their partner does not want to see them dressed.  To tumblr_l09myxO3EB1qzsdz2o1_500them I suggest keep it to a special once a month event and recognise that after that event you have to put the girl away and focus on life’s other priorities. All of us hate that time at the end of the evening when you are in front of the mirror and you are taking the girly face off to be replaced by Mr Sexual Norm. It is a real downer, but instead think how lucky you have been to have the ‘b###s’ to have done this and had an experience of which so many others are very envious.  For those of you who can dress how and where as they please look back at a past article where I say you should be considerate of your surroundings and others and not thrust your lifestyle in their face…ah yes, another avenue I closed off many moons ago xxx
In recent weeks there are so many new stories surfacing on Crossdressing and Transvestism. Note I have always seen myself as a Transvestite not a Transsexual. In terms of society’s acceptance we are so far back in terms of being understood along with Scientologists and rubber dolls! I get a kick out of dressing but do not feel that I am a real woman, more a fun imitation. A great article written by a Japanese reporter in 2012 entitled 16 Things I Learned From Dressing In Drag was a start then moved onto Japan slowly begins to openly discuss crossdressing men in heterosexual relationships.Always A Start
In this one they mention a photographer who takes pictures of crossdressers. She says that there are three times in a man’s life when he might awaken to the fact that he enjoys women’s clothing. First is puberty, the next is in his 30s/40s, and finally in his 60s after retirement. Each of these tends to be a major turning point in their lives. I haven’t reached my 60’s yet but can definitely identify with earlier times. I  had pangs from 9-14 years old and rediscovered them in my early 30’s. Susie my partner who runs Chateau Femme dressing service says that inquisitive men in their 30’s and retired men in their 60’s are a dominant part of new girls who come to visit. These more mature men have in some cases harboured this desire for a long time. But others have done it on a whim and found themselves a fantastic new hobby, or in a few cases a complete lifestyle.Always A Start

I also loved the article from Rocket News about a ‘Girls’ Club in Tokyo where anyone can dress anyway they like. The bulk of the customers there were not interested in being fun and sexy,  just ‘ We do not want to be girls just cute‘. I thought so true. It really is all about the look for me. Then its about the mannerisms and finally the whole way you act. Susie had just had the stock for her new set of wigs delivered the other day and she asked me to try some on. Without make up on I looked dreadful and this combined with the article struck such a chord.
IMG_0041The whole idea is that we do put a lot of effort in trying to turn the male sow’s ear into a femme silk purse. We tend to like what we see, its better than the male self. OK it may not be that feminine in the truest sense of the word except for a gifted few. But boy do we feel a million dollars. Its not Ted or Bill or Frank looking back at us but a changed person with a femme name and we love it. I have always alluded to the change of mindset that I go through in transforming from male to T. I love the journey and the destination, it leaves me in a really new and perfect place. As I have now had a couple of years of being able to indulge as and when I want I realise it is now a part of me. Its not a drug that is addictive, its now a psychological part of my make up that is a great calming influence on my life.
Parts of it are now creeping into my everyday life such as mannerisms, oh God a limp wrist again, stop walking that way boy, stop slouching and sit up more! Its just fun and I am constantly fighting the brainwashing that I have gone through in conforming to society’s social mores. Its a bit like coming round to say God does not exist when you have had so much religious doctrine imposed on you from such an early age. You feel guilty for something you should not.
I have read that many T-girls in their early days got sexually turned on by dressing, but as time has passed this has waned. I would argue against this for many of us, not all. The whole process of dressing and getting out is a wonderful buzz and just because you have not got a stonker does not mean you still don’t get excited! Oh help us if life has to be bland and nobody can stand out a bit. That also means you cannot belittle Trekky Conventions, Stamp Collectors and Birdwatchers. Each of us have our own bent! The article Why Do I Crossdress shows there are so many shades to this spectrum. (I am no 18!)IMG_1171
This also has bearings on our sexuality or more importantly our psyche. I do get excited by dressing it does give me a buzz and makes me a little more playful or extrovert. But I think the bulk of it is in the mind and for me that is where it stays nowadays. In my younger days the amount of times I found myself chatting to another ‘girl’ in a rather flagrant way were numerous. But only too quickly I would realise this was a fantasy, not a reality, and a girl without her wig and make-up was just a man. It was the look that appealed to me and probably a little bit of the chase, not the kill!
Now I know others disagree with my standpoint as I discussed in an article last year on flirting vs sex some girls are genuinely gay or bi and do find going the whole way part of their way of expressing themselves, the problem with us flirters is that we are sending out the wrong message to people who are genuinely interested in taking things further. Susie has made me realise this and to understand what I thought was harmless fun in reality is playing with peoples feelings too much. I have put a serious stop to it…well most of the time!
XXX
As a follow on from my last blog regarding how I can very easily annoy my girlfriend, by being very selfish in regard to my dressing and actions when we are out, I thought of  how many of us T Girls can fall into a similar trap. These traits principally concern us being selfish and self-centred and can seriously make us annoying to many of our friends. I hope by alerting you to some that I have seen over the years may help you to recognise a trait within you. We all have a little bit of some of these but it is when it is taken to excess that it will infuriate your friends and may result in them not wanting to go out with you, and God knows there are few enough opportunities to get out as it is! Its not meant to be bitchy, but some might read it as such, its just a memorandum to self to think of others when out and not run the roost according to your peccadilloes.
I think I have spotted 4 symptoms that can annoy others of which many of us are guilty to a greater or lesser extent:
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The Me Talker – this is the girl who gets little or no time to be her femme self because of personal circumstances. She has some friends that know she is a tranny but tends to dress a lot in private and has few chances to get out. When she does hit the boards she has saved up so many things to talk about she tends to monopolise the conversation and talks incessantly about herself. She is like Opra Winfrey. Conversations are turned to her agenda and she always wants to tell others what the effect of something was on her, even if the conversation was nothing to do with her. This can be particularly annoying when one of the other girls has a valid emotional point she wants to raise only to find the conversation taken over by the ‘me’ girl. She has to get out more and learn to listen to others and shut up! There will be plenty of opportunities.
Jose-Mourinho--chelsea
The Shock Talker – this girl is out to make a statement and get noticed. She wants to be the centre of attention and is searching for an impact in every comment, a bit of a Jose Mourihno. You know that they are always looking for something that will be an over the top statement and after a while tend to become numb to it so they look for more shock tactics. Not sure if it’s because in her male role she has a fairly unexciting life or that through dressing she can release the exciting adrenalin junky that is constantly held within. She will engage in conversations with other groups and be the one hogging the dance floor with a look at me way about her. Originally she is seen by friends as a funny exciting person and of course she lives on that. But after a while she can become a liability to some drawing too much attention to the group and in particular creating situations by not reading the events that are going on around them. Her antics can become tiresome and annoying if all she wants to do is make over-the-top statements. This is occurs particularly when some girls want to have an honest and in-depth non judgemental chat about things. She has to just relax and appreciate that the group is a little more placid than her. Her time will come.
VICTORIA-BECKHAM-TWITTER-GARTICLE
The Organised Talker – the girl who is constantly trying to set the agenda for the group. She is a control freak, a bit of a Victoria Beckham. Deciding dates, times and places she never really settles to enjoy the moment. She is always looking to the next thing they are going to do and as a result does not allow the group to relax. Yes they all like the fact that someone is taking the decisions just hating the fact that all discussions are about what they are going to do next not what is happening now. A bit of a perfectionist she is never quite happy as they could have done things better and as such there is always more to be done. Girls feel a little controlled and unsettled in her company. She just has to learn to live in the moment a little more. There is always another event to organise in due course.
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The Sexy Talker – this is the horny one. This is the Kim Kardashian girl. Dressing makes them feel incredibly sexy and they get so turned on by the occasion that their focus is primarily on the sexual liasons of the night. Their conversation revolves around ‘opportunities’ and having fun. She can be very tactile and slightly predatory. She drops many unsubtle hints throughout the night, which can be tiresome. She can be highly excitable and not read any romantic elements that have been happening throughout the evening. She thinks that most girls have the same urge within them and that they would fancy some fun with her. But it’s not so she has to back off and wait for situations to arise not spend her time trying to create them. There are opportunities at every turn they will come to you!
OK this may seem a little harsh but we all may have some elements of these within us to a greater or lesser extent. I know I have and it’s just a case of recognising this is happening before people stop asking you out to events you love to participate in. I am sure many can think of other stereotypes . Anyone got any others they dislike such as the pain in the bum blogger who is finding things that really don’t exist!! XXX
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