Archive for July, 2015


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Of Course Its Not Me!

This is a re-working of an older blog I know, but recently I have genuinely realised how important dressing is to my state of mind and how the life of a Transvestite becomes intertwined with my male persona. More importantly it is an incredible outlet for relaxation.

Some people under stress find solace in alcohol or sex or drugs or many other things. I have realised that dressing isan incredible stress relief for me. I have written about it in the past particularly in relation to its sexual nature but until the other night in a hotel room on my own, with nothing but a suitcase ofclothes to entertain me, I did not realise how much I needed just to physically dress and be Tara. It is an ongoing separation from my sexual set and my Transvestite self. Yes dressing arouses me (see my other blogs) but I was very surprised at how exhilarating and powerful just having unfettered  ‘Tara Time’ was for me.

Now many of you lucky people living on their own might not understand how vital being able to dress in an environment that is without stress and interruption is, because you always had it. I well remember being at home knowing my then wife was out and I had a couple of hours to dress in private before she came home. But during that whole time my senses were on red alert I never really relaxed. Would she come home early? What  would she say if I was discovered? Who else might come to the door? Would she find something I had not packed away? Would I leave a web page open on the computer or my browsing history reveal all? I had to do it and got a rush out of the whole pressure of it all but I now realise that it did not help the stress I was under. Contrast this with the freedom of a whole evening where I could be the selfish one and just do what I wanted. Now that’s a zone I now know I want to be in.
Even in my current relationship with Susie from Château Femme you would think this is a perfect arrangement. Awoman who dresses Trannies for a living! Because she does understand, and adore, Trannies so well. But not so, interruptions to borrow make-up, clothes or jewellery. Interruptions to ask if the dress she is wearing is right. Interruptions to say when will you be ready, where is my phone, have you got the keys, are we taking a taxi or the car, where are we going to parketc. etc. etc. These distractions all stop the whole flow of turning your mindset from male to Tara. This needs time and focus without interruption.

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Trannies Love Short Skirts

Suddenly, you are on your own and all that pressure, all those diversions are lifted. You can take 2 hours or more to put on your make-up. You can faff over minor things nobody but you will notice. To drink a glass of wine as you want. To decide between nude or semi-black stockings. To muse if you would like to play with yourself. To take breaks in dressing just to admire what you have done. Sit down and take stock, To go on You Tube to watch a make up video. To change your look, your wig , your dress style, your shoes, oh yes your shoes!!! To,walk around in total freedom on your own admiring yourself from every angle saying, hmmm great, hmm need to change that, hmm need a new this that or the other! The whole thing just allows Tara to become well Tara or a pale reflection of her ideal.
There is no rush, no pressure. Just a realisation that you have the time to do it. And when ‘she’ emerges there is that incredible sexy rush that says ‘I AM THERE’. Suddenly you are filled with elation that you have arrived at a level of consciousness that is soooooo satisfying. You prance around and just enjoy the moment.
OK there is one thing missing the appreciation of the public. All that effort and nobody saying ‘wow you look terrific!’ But that’s just a self-indulgent thing that is not as real as having the freedom without barriers of being who you are. It’s just you playing with the whole mindset you are now in.

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Smokey Purple Eyes Anyone?

The result of this is an intense feeling of genuine deep relaxation that for a few hours you have turned off the world and just thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed indulging in your alter-ego without any strings any expectations and any interruptions. Nobody is judging, you nobody is telling you who to be. Absolutely brilliant and ironically so rare! These are the moments when you genuinely come to terms with who you are and thoroughly enjoy the escape from day-to-day vanilla life.
The issue for many Trannies however is to establish how strong a drive this is. I love both my male and Tranny sides on about and 80/20 ratio. Last month I had a week where I dressed 4 times and I noticed how by the fourth time the desire to dress had waned considerably. I cared less about the effort I put into dressing, I did not enjoy the night as much, nor did I really get into being ‘Tara’. Bit like being on a 4 day bender, the first is the best the rest have diminishing returns. I was more a cock in a frock going through the motions by the end. I was glad on the next night when I was prevented from dressing, again, due to being late. I realised that this was not a lifestyle choice just a great bit of sexy fun. The beast had been sated and I would wait until the sap rose again. But when that time arose and I had genuine freedom to express myself the high was amazing. Tara is not something that someone can turn on…and off at a say so. The mood and the moment have to be right and the build up to it is so much a part of the transformation. I love the planning and the fantasy of what will happen. Just saying go get dressed now just has no magic in it for me.
So moral of this blog is get time away from everything and just be you the way you want to be. Turn off the outside and indulge in your passions the way you enjoy things and remember there is no prescription, We Trannies are similar but also very different, unique even in so many aspects. The effect is an incredible and intense form of relaxation that beats any mindfulness or swami rituals.
Hmmm maybe there is an opening for a Tranny ashram somewhere! XXX
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Is This So Wrong

Is This So Wrong

I have always said I love being called a Transvestite, because it clearly dissociates me from a Transsexual and shows me on a different level from a Cross-Dresser. It clearly defines who I think I am. Others however think TV is outmoded terminology and you are only a TS or a CD. I do however disagree as it removes much of the subtlety of the dressing scene. I have also said that the word ‘slut’ best described the style I adopt. This was mainly to do with the fact that I love to wear short tight dresses and high heels and adopt more feminine mannerisms. However on discussions with my partner Susie from Château Femme I have now realised that this is far, far too provocative a word to use, she says her definition of a slut is one who dresses for sex and try’s to give that come on look to all and sundry. Sorry this is not me.

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Sorry Not For Me!

Yes I dress in a provocative way. Yes I like the attention this attracts and yes it is in complete opposition to what people expect see in a person of my advancing age. But I dress primarily for me and the internalised fun this gives me, not really for others. If I dressed the way others would want to see me at my age the picture opposite might be more appropriate. But being the ego-centric, selfish bitch that I am I love the escapism of dressing in my ‘slutty’ manner! If you would like to understand my reasoning for why we Trannies are so selfish please look at some of my older blogs. We are incredibly self-centred (there are genuine reasons) and of course at times this may also cause offence, but genuinely it is not really intended as  its just an alter-ego coming out to play!
But the realisation that this can be provocative has also forced me into the whole issue of rhetoric and terminology. The vernacular for me is very different to the majority and I seem to have got it wrong. It’s an absolute minefield when you are discussing who you are with your GG partner. You really have to be selective and in reality what you see as harmless can conjure up visions you never even considered.  I for example always saw vast differences between Tart, Slut or Whore but for the majority they are just far too close. I have realised that I have to review my Tranny lexicon!
As I say, I like wearing short skirts and heels, totally inappropriate I know but ah well. But this is a very different style to someone to whom the underwear is vitally important (seen or unseen) or to the person who is most at home in a twin-set and pearls or a wedding dress or a secretary or rubber, or etc..The way you look or the way you want to look and the perceptions of others are linked. I am afraid to say girls, if you wear a short skirt and have a great pair of pins, people will draw parallels with certain unsavoury aspects of human behaviour.
Its not something you want (or is it?) but you have to realise what effect you are having on people. The same applies to the labels you give yourself and obviously in my case ‘slut’ is definitely not the right terminology in polite conversation. I have now found that by referring to yourself in a particular manner and dressing in a specific way you can imply that you are going to do certain things that you definitely are not, read what you like into that! I also find that the internal narcissist that loves attention can also send out the wrong signals!
Finding the right terminology that tells people what I like without giving the wrong impression is becoming very hard. It has led to many heated debates in our household I can tell you! The word ‘sexy’ for example can be a safe, and to me a very neutral, word in certain situations and but also be highly provocative in others. I thought I had it spot on with ‘slut’ but the dictionary definition was  an ‘immoral or dissolute woman’. Tart equally does not work as its a ‘promiscuous woman’. Each in their turn implied prostitute and that was not the intended. It also got the hackles raised with the girlfriend and implied that I was going out on the pull!!

Yes Of Course Its My Style Just Not Me:(

Yes Of Course Its My Style
Just Not Me:(

So what do we use ‘sensual’, ‘seductive’, ‘hot’, ‘flirtatious’, ‘provocative’, ‘suggestive’? Each in their own manner can seem both tame and excessive. Therefore we drop back on ‘sexy’ as its fairly vanilla and does not harm anyone. Its a bit like the word ‘nice’ its OK but more importantly not too emotive nor very descriptive. Its a shame that I cant find a better word. Help Please! So for a sense of peace and harmony and not to offend too many others reading this blog the terminology will change to a more neutral and less offensive idiom.
So it’s out with the ‘slut’ terminology in these blogs from now onwards and in with better rhetoric that does not annoy the reader and more importantly the girlfriend and imply that I am someone out to play the field. Hopefully readers will learn from this lesson and be wary of their language and the associated dress code! xxx

This month thought would get away from the personal issues and look at a bit of help on the clothing front. Particularly when trying to search for items on the internet!.

Understanding women’s clothing is such a battle to the uninitiated so I thought a few graphics might help

Firstly looking at your dress style according to your bodyshape

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And so important  High Heeled Shoes (sorry don’t do flats)

 

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Next Skirts

 

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Now for the undies!

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Ah the interesting Bra…a mystery?

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Of Course More To Follow XXX

 

 

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