Category: Uncategorized


The Way We Are

Filed under: Accepting Transvestism, Relationships, Sexuality, Transvestite, Uncategorized — 1 Comment
January 19, 2021

Time to reboot folks. My last blog was 10 months ago as the UK went into Covid meltdown. At that time I felt I had put enough on the web about being a Tranny, and any more would just frustrate those who were denied

Decisions Decisions

the chance to dress and go out as they had done in 2019. God its 2021! The wrinkles have grown, but with a hint of a light at the end of the tunnel I thought we should all start to prepare for unleashing the Barbarian Horde (or should that be Herd?) on the public when we are finally allowed out. To that effect I am going to change the tenor of the blog whilst we are still in lockdown to look at improving our presentation to the world for the final months of confinement so that we arise phoenix like from the ashes of the anti-virus!


First however as a sort of catch up I would like to summarise where I think I am in terms of my own advice to TV’s out there with a few links to previous articles. As always please don’t treat this as a panacea for all your ills, it is purely my view on our wondrous lifestyle as I see it.
In no particular order I view our ‘current’ role in society as follows:

  1. We Are Transvestites, Trannies, TVs – the word has been bastardised by society and in particular the Americans. It has grown into an absurd abuse of the true dictionary definition which is: a person who wears the clothes of the opposite sex, that’s it! I tried to define a Transvestite here The bits that other people (particularly non-Trannies) put on top of this are not the true meaning, they are enhancements or bastardisations that somehow have become norms that most Trannies reject. Unfortunately we have been subsumed into the whole TS debate and are seen as a sub-class which is wrong as I wrote here. We are far better being defined as a fetish (read the definition) than alongside the Transsexuals . But because we find it difficult to explain why we are as we are, so its gets lost and we have become the last Taboo of society .

  2. Being A Transvestite Is A State Of Mind Not Just About The Dress – biologically I am a bloke and quite like my male side, but I have a different aspect to my personality and that is my ‘Femme ‘ (for me it’s not female) side. Firstly I feel very sexy (note not sexual as stated in this article) but more important for me is I switch off completely, relax and live in the moment, a kind of mindfulness, which in my early days of dressing I did not appreciate, then it was just a mixed up buzzy whirl.
    Now I can let go, no future plans, no problem solving no decisions to make and I find cannot cook! The bloke has been coerced into a role in society that he conforms to but it does not satisfy other aspects of his persona so the Tranny comes to save him. But you are always caught in two minds see here. You will worry where it is taking you see this article. And you worry about your sexuality see here. The problem is how deeply ingrained this is. How many of us have tried to give it up or at least said that is it . You can try to define yourself as I tried in this clumsy blog here or just accept that it is a part of you it should be welcomed and celebrated. Don’t let FEAR get in the way and causing you too much stress.

  3. Don’t Kid Yourself We Are Not Universally Accepted In Society – Far From It – bit like LBGTQ the general public has a much better acceptance of who we are than say 10 and especially 20 years ago and especially amongst the under 40’s . Acceptance though is not understanding and the older generation has a different mindset that was honed in the 70’s and 80’s when being a Tranny was a dirty word, not one of us. It still pervades and many of older Trannies are still very wary when going out for fear of rejection. Don’t let this dissuade you .That being said the actual incidence of Tranny abuse is very very limited and tends be after drink or some macho groups (both male and female) trying to show off their peers.

  4. We Do Overthink The Consequences Of Our Actions– I am at fault here. I come from a time when it was shameful to be a TV and that is ingrained into my make up, I talked about over and under thinking here. The need to dress is a very strong need as it balances up my whole person as I tried to outline in this blog . Thinking of all the negative or worst case scenarios stops us from realising our true potential, or at least realising our dreams.

  5. Being A TV In A Relationship With A Woman Is Very, Very Difficult– sorry to disappoint . Acceptance of you, admiring your look and enjoying your company is one thing, having a full blown relationship is much much harder. Because, as I said above, your mindset changes when you dress up and effectively you bring a third person into the relationship, and to be honest quite a selfish one at that. Trannies are so me, me, me. For most its such a short time that you indulge in your femme side and you want to make the most of it at the expense of those around you. Dressed sex in a relationship is so full of pitfalls there is a whole book yet to be written about itI I have tried to give some guidance on relationships here but its a tough one. Worst of all the hardest decision is to reveal your other self to your partner when you have hidden it for so long, this has to be done so very very carefully.

  6. Most Trannies Are Never Satisfied – we have so little time to be on the ‘other’ side that we are constantly trying to move things on. To do things that that little nagging voice in the back of your mind is daring you to do . My Pushing Boundaries tried to help understand this but there is nothing really new. But we have to beware that in some ways it can come to dominate your life and this is when it is getting out of control. We can go down ever dangerous paths looking for a thrill that in reality is better in your head than in the real world.

  7. We Are Very Self-Centred – Because we only let the girl out from time to time we want to make the most of it . We want admiration appreciation and sometime adoration for the work we have put into our dressing. During lockdown this has, for some, been the worst aspect of not getting out! Trannies crave attention even though they may appear very quiet and reserved. This need for attention can tend to dominate proceedings too much. I wrote an apology about how I was rude about this here but it still holds true. We are intensely introspective as its such personal thing and no two Trannies are the same. When out we can also , without realising it, become rather closed group as I said here and as such are regarded as aloof freaks by the real world. But for many of us this is a coping mechanism be it stress release, personal problems or of a sexual nature so we need it!

  8. Sexuality Will Become A Struggle For Many – I am sure that there are some Trannies who have never felt sexy dressed up, just I have never met any. The fine line between sexy and sex is very complicated and it is not clear. I would think that boy mode equals straight, femme mode raises questions as the whole gender thing raises its horns. I wrote here about this. But the problem is the two spectrums of gender and sexuality are two separate continuums (not linked) that we all moves up and down on all the time. Beware the whole Pushing Boundaries scenarios again!

So that’s my best quick summary of where these blogs are. If like me you have come to accept that is is a real part of you and its not going away then now is the time time to focus on improving who we are and that will be the focus of the next few blogs until this bloody mess comes to a close.

Happy Belated New Year.
Keep Safe Stay Home Wear Hosiery
Tara XXX

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New Year New You…Not Really!

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January 6, 2020
I haven’t written much in a long time but as its now 2020 thought I would start again as a New Year tends to be filled with new resolutions that are normally forgotten by Burns Night!
I was reading one of those interminable articles about how to change your life and thought why not one for Trannies. We make resolutions to dress more or less to go out more or less to do something different or wilder. So many thoughts so little time.
One thing that did strike me during this process was that despite dressing for over 30 years now I still felt guilty about it. I come from an older generation where we were indoctrinated that what we did was morally wrong and reprehensible. So I developed my way of hiding it and doing everything in secret. Even to this day if I look anything Tranny on the web or buy something new I still feel guilty about it and rarely share what it wit others. Its so deeply ingrained from years of hiding it. And I live with a woman that runs the Chateau Femme dressing service! If I can’t do it then there are thousands of others out there who are in a similar position enjoying the fun of dressing but at the same time having the thought I am committing a disgraceful act, that is morally reprehensible to the bulk of society.

Is It Time For A Change?

Yet at my core I know this is me and that it is my mindset that has to change in the New Year. The problem is the way I approach it and the way I embrace being a Tranny. I understand why I feel guilty now I have to look at it from a different perspective.
  1. Being a Tranny is not bad its a lifestyle choice. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea but it is much more acceptable than it was 30 years ago. We live in a much more tolerant society. Yes there are still those (male and female) who are appalled by it but they are in decline or at least are forced to hide it by the new liberal Twitterati. We have however lost a lot of our identity by being bracketed with the ever growing TS members of society and this is wrong for people to understand us. If you would like to see my concerns about this read my reclaim article
  2. Its no longer as ‘bad’ to be out in public. So many cross-dressers and Trannies hide at home for fear of being discovered that they have been hiding it from their partner for so long that they dare not venture out at least once.  On the latter I am afraid there is no easy answer as I have intimated in previous blogs when it comes to trust issues with your partner from which you have hidden your other side! But on the former I would say first it is very rare that, if you are properly made up, anyone would recognise the guy behind the mask and secondly many find it interesting to talk to people like us who offer an alternative view on life from the humdrum vanilla existence. I find women in general very open to my femme side though in the main they don’t fancy a Tranny. For many men I think I bring out an element of cross-dressing that they would like to try for a bit of sexy fun with their partner. The labels dress as a male, dress as a female are being blurred just as make-up and the look of the androgynous human that pervades magazines these days
  3. A Tranny is not a pervert. Enjoying dressing is a pastime for most of us and is part of our make up. Too many in the past have tried to identify this as an aberration rather than an aspect of our personality. We are just different. Finding enjoyment in expressing our femme side is not wrong. We are allowed to look prettier than the balding, graying, boring, bloke who is confined to wearing jeans and T-shirt and talking sports. Ask others to embrace the alternative you but don’t be as blazen as far too many extremists who push things in your face be they TS’s, Vegans, Communists, Religious Zealots and the like. Let them see your loving side!
  4. Its OK to feel sexy. I know from my own personal experience I feel a sexiness running through me when dressed that I never feel in bloke mode. This applies in both the fact that I feel a little attractive and alluring (in comparison to the bloke) and there is general excitement about the look. Don’t confuse this with sexual please. My girlfriend says she sees it happening in front of her during her dressings. She can appreciate it but has never experienced it. Though she likens it to when she dressed as a teenager and the immense buzz that gave her. Its probably why so many of us dress in so called ‘inappropriate’ way as this makes us feel sexier. Some people allude to the fact that many of us dress like our ideal woman. But I think that us too simplistic its more about the buzz it gives you and how we love trying so many looks always trying to move towards some goal, whether it be losing weight, a more toned body, better makeup, better posture, walking in higher heels etc. etc. etc.
  5. If sexy makes you sexual then get on with it. All the usual moral codes apply here but at the back of most Trannies minds is a little ‘what if’ nagging away. We all have it and in my next article I will look at it. But the reality is that dressing makes us more expressive and our alter ego that normally lies dormant comes out. For some of us that is a sexual drive and a want to expand our boundaries. Sometimes this is an itch that has to be scratched. From experience I can only say that the more you think about it the more you are building it up to be something bigger than it really is. For some however they are replacing something that has been lost in their day to day life and this can be seen as a substitute for what is missing.
So back to New Year resolutions. Ditch them and ditch the guilt. Embrace the fact you are not some morally deviant freak who outrages the bulk of society. Bugger the contrition and get on with a positive attitude about you and your approach to society. Read a couple of articles on the web on how to change your mindset and get rid of the elephant in the room that is stopping you from being you and creating all the associated stress that is occupying too much of your time. Remember being a Tranny is a pastime not a full time change however it gives meaning and happiness to you and it is important that you stop the killer that is stress. If this is continuously going round and round in your brain it takes up too much of your thinking time and can cause anxiety in you and strain in your relationships.
We only have one life and believe me it is very short. XXX
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Can We Reclaim The Word Transvestite And Tranny Please

Filed under: Accepting Transvestism, Sexuality, Transvestite, Uncategorized — 2 Comments
September 27, 2018
I am fed up with people putting me down because I call myself a Transvestite or a Tranny which many see as a rather vulgar and demeaning word. It’s not. This in my opinion shows they lack the understanding of the words their heritage and how our TS sisters on the other side of the pond, in particular, have come to bastardise their meaning due to their own misuse of the vernacular in pursuit of a very different agenda to our own.
The dictionary defines a Transvestite as a crossdresser, someone who wears clothing from the opposite sex for psychological reasons. Then some definitions (particularly American) add the line ‘for sexual gratification’. It may be all of these it may be some but the reality is that its a catchall for trying to simplify something that is not simple, which I hope I have demonstrated in these blogs. Its wrong and lacks an understanding of where the words came from and how they have come to be used or is that abused.Angry Woman. Furious Girl. Negative Emotions. Bad Days. Bad Mood
Let us look at the history. Transvestism wasn’t really coined as a term before 1911 and the word has gone through several changes since originally being for a medical disorder, or the sexual interest in crossdressing also known as transvestic fetishism. The word crossdresser did not originate until the 1970’s but the fact that some of these people linked dressing to erotic fantasies meant that Transvestites got a bad name for themselves. Seeing a 6 foot, 90kg bloke in short leopard print dresses unable to walk in high heels and a cheap wig did not help!
As a result, particularly in the USA, calling someone a Tranny or Transvestite was used as a derogatory term. It also got messed up with all the other Trans (Transsexual, Transgender) groups where anybody with a ‘trans something’ in front of them was called a Tranny. They lumped us all together to start with. The Transgendered community in particular hated being associated with ‘dressing’ and its sexual (not gender) elements and set about degrading it for their own purposes as it was not what they were about.
On top of this the multitude of definitions in the last few years has blossomed to become so mixed up particularly with the growth of Transgender and Transsexual identities that we have been incorporated into a smaller group in which we do not belong.
Amongst all of this the Transvestite and Crossdressing activities have been relatively subsumed and deemed irrelevant to the TS’s which queers their pitch as society wakes up to this intersex debate. Transgendered people are fighting for their identity which is highly laudable but not at the expense of being downright insulting to a strand that in actual fact is a much, much bigger percentage of the population. Trannies are looking for a form of expression for their personality leave them alone.
The problem is that we Transvestites are not part of this group we don’t want to be full-time women. In fact it was the TS community that were wrongly labeled with the word Tranny which belongs to our group. Our issue is more an identity issue not a gender thing. To make matters even worse, in my experience, is that our group outings give transsexuals an early solace for them to express their identity only for us to discarded with relative venom as they realise they are different. How many times have I been told by a TS who I have nurtured but you are not a woman ‘I am’ . You are bloody right I am a Tranny and stop bastardising my definition just because it doesn’t suit you. Get your own vernacular and leave ours alone! You may have gender dysphoria but we embrace the femme side of life alongside our male side. Nicely balanced!
Basic RGBSo now let’s try to define ourselves to the world as clearly as we can. In this way we should become more acceptable and palatable to a wider consensus who currently see what we do as more of a perversion (well the over 40’s do!). I believe that for the majority of us dressing or crossdressing in whatever form releases another aspect of our personality. Yes it could have a sexual element (is that really so bad?) but the true part it allows is the release of the feminine side of our mindset as a counterbalance to a male role that we have been conditioned to be by society. Roles for us are too strict we need broader acceptance.
I am of course going to immediately argue that the definition is still to simple as so many Tv’s say to me there is more than one side to my Tranny personality and the style of dress I adopt releases a particular aspect of their persona which is hidden. Dressing is that trigger for an inner self that lies hidden. Yes I may dress in a shorter skirt today because I feel sexy. Tomorrow it will be a longer dress because I feel classy and the next day its a simple set of jeans and boots because I feel incredibly relaxed when wearing them. It’s a great switch off mechanism.
I am going to stop there and let the debate begin because this is getting into the realms of an essay for the British Psychological Journal. I want to help people understand themselves not bore them to death like a Wagner Opera! Oops now pissing off the opera buffs as well!
All I want to do is establish that being a Transvestite is a good thing for both the Tranny and those around them. They tend to be soft creatures much less outspoken and more accepting than their TS counterparts. Their time is spent in sexy contemplation of being able to release the femme aspect of their personality. They love to indulge in the fun aspects of their life that they can’t do with the lads who have a very different mindset.
So please allow us to own the words Transvestite and Tranny and don’t denigrate them to match your personal and political machinations. We Trannies need our identifying marks as well. We are the silent majority that just gets on with being ourselves. As they say you never really win an argument by being rude about others xxx
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An Apology To Those Who Like To Show Off

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September 6, 2018
 In an article I wrote in January I wrote about the problem with many Transvestites was that they talk far too much about themselves and listen far too little to others. I have to apologise to all my TV friends about them talking about themselves too much as I now realise that being a TV is very much about standing out and making a statement, and by contrast being a Transsexual is all about blending in with society in the gender role with which you feel most comfortable you feel most comfortable.
OK there are 80% of TV’s that are still in the closet who have little or no chance to stand out because they are locked away for one reason or another. But I don’t believe it takes it away from the fact that most of us do like the appreciation we get when we go out dressed from the broader minded members of the general public. Its our statement that we hope others will like.

Drag Quen

I Can Get Away With It

My partner who runs Chateau Femme Dressing Service sees it on a daily basis. Initially her ‘girls’ are too embarrassed to go out but with a helping hand they step over the threshold and then there is no stopping them. After that they almost crave the attention of someone looking at them because it is the culmination of their journey to finally have an element of acceptance in society.

There is also the by-product that they now have an audience to talk to about themselves after years of hiding it all away and they want to tell everything to any poor soul who shows an inkling of wanting to listen to them. It won’t be another Tranny because they’ll also be wanting to do the same thing. It’s a poor member of the public that gets both barrels for hours on end! Sorry fellow Trannies but its a reality!
Once a Tranny is out they are embarking on a very different journey to a TS. For the TS it is a permanent change where they become part of the social fabric, for the TV its a vital expression of a part of their character. For one its a lifestyle change for the other its a journey into self discovery. Society accepts the TS because they understand how they feel being born into the wrong gender. A TV is not really accepted because it is seen as more of a perversion rather than changing your life. This in turn attracts little sympathy or appreciation from the broader society. And let’s be honest we don’t really understand how or why we are as we are so how the hell should anyone else understand us. Just enjoy our time on the Femme side and don’t over think it.
I think that in essence most TV’s do like to show off a little, its part of our make-up but it’s still not as acceptable as it could be. Drag Queens get away with it because it is seen as part of their act, but for Trannies it’s probably a little too close to home for too many people. They realise that anyone of us could be their ‘normal’ neighbour’ from next door.
I also think that quite a large amount of the group that do go out like an element of the shock value that seeing a Tranny creates, they like the attention. I think they get a perverse thrill out of taking members of the general public out of their vanilla comfort zone and shaking things up a bit. They have fun making others uncomfortable and the best of those are the drag queens! There is a huge element of the peacock (or is that pea hen?) amongst Transvestites who want to be seen and then, of course, heard. I am not sure if it is an extrovert trying to get out of an introverted existence or not.
So many of us need this form of expression to release an inner self and in doing so comes a more expressive person that at times starts to talk about themselves…too much, with little regard to how bored others are becoming with the incessant one-way verbiage that the ‘for one night only’ Tranny gives out. It is quite funny watching a group of us round a table as blokes we talk in stories as TV’s we want to talk inner feelings, but the problem is none of the other ‘girls’ round the table want to listen! So woe betide the onlooker!

women long hair style icon, logo women face

There Is Too Little Time!

As we mature (as a TV) this focus on self does dissipate but it takes many years and many outings to finally exorcise the ghost of Trannydom. As I tried to show in my journey through the Tranny world there is a path we go through and we are all at different phases on that journey. People in society are being exposed to so many varying levels of Transvestism they just find it very difficult to comprehend. The worst aspect of this lack of understanding is that many of the general public take certain aspects of what we go through on our journey and immediately label us with a small part of the whole Tranny world. This gives us a poor image in society without it trying to understand us. Best example is the first question you are asked by a partner “is are you gay?” not “how did you come to be like this?”
All hail being a TV. Enjoy being expressive about life and all its foibles. Glory in avoiding the deathtrap of conformity and standing out. Rejoice in your difference you will understand yourself better and this will give you increased confidence. For so many this side of you has been hidden for so long it needs regular exposure to make a statement to the world even if they don’t want to hear it. It’s a rite of passage that given the freedom to do it most TV’s would try. Unfortunately society is still not ready for it because they do not understand it. Nor do we!
I used to say that I liked going out dressed because it was a bit naughty and I was breaking some moral codes of society that I thought were wrong and that gave me the buzz. This was true initially but now I realise part of showing myself off is related to how I feel inside. We use the term ‘sexy’ or ‘turned on’ but that is not the half of it. What is going on inside is the butterfly is emerging from the pupa and the real personality or at least one personality is blossoming. (Sorry too many analogies there but you get my drift) It’s a bit like saying that sometimes you enjoy the calm of a game of chess but at other times you like the whole spectacle of watching a football match. Each event gives rise to different emotions so it is that the man and the TV give rise to different aspects of your personality, which is not necessarily balanced. God help us if you were the same each and every day that would be no fun either!
Showing off is one thing and looking for admiring comments is another which is quite understandable. Chatting about your TV person is also totally acceptable but what is wrong is dominating conversations to the exclusion of all others.
I am no different to any other Tranny chatterboxes in that I enjoy my time being noticed and that rare time to talk about my Tranny side. But I know when I am dominating the conversation and shut up to let others have their say. The ones who go on and on about themselves their life and how it affects them or turns everyone else’s conversation to an experience they have had and then bosses all conversation are just a real pain for whom I have little time. This is a shared world not a world that has to share your experiences!
So I am apologising to all those I berated in my previous sermons who were only having a light conversation about themselves. I am not however a fan of gobby Transvestites because they take up all the room for the rest of us. But I understand why they are as they are and why, sometimes, I have to move to another table.XXX
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Are You Caught In Two Minds?

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I have never hidden the fact that I enjoy, sorry adore, the change of mindset when I dress. I enjoy the switchover from the masculine to the femme side. It helps balance my mind and body allowing me to indulge in the two different aspects of my personality, much of which is hidden when in ‘boy’ mode.
But I also like my male side as well. I actively try to keep the two apart so that I can have my cake and eat it. It has been noticed by others though, that the more Tara gets out the more those mannerisms, actions and ways of speaking that are associated with my TV persona are creeping into my everyday boy side. Note to self… be aware!
Many of my Tranny friends do identify with this. Releasing that the girl allows them to express themselves in ways that are not ‘acceptable’ in boy mode. We do appreciate the fun of dressing up to look good, we do feel sexy in girl mode, we enjoy the softer side we let out in this mindset and we tend to relax much, much more when the femme side is exposed.

Petals2

A Constant Battle

But it is a bit more than just letting the femme side out. I think that because of how society works and its social pressures we have been conditioned to repress many aspects of our personality which the great and good vanilla people say is ‘not proper’. These traits are hidden under layers and layers of guilt, embarrassment, expectation and conformity. I think the ‘girl’ gives us some kind of permission to indulge in our hidden desires be they sexual, mental or behavioural.

It is not an excuse to say that dressing somehow allows us to ‘play’ in whatever way we like, rather it just releases these wants and fantasies that lie so dormant below the surface. I think that it frees so many frustrations within us and that is why it is such a relaxing activity. A great stress buster.
I have TV friends who say it allows them to enjoy sex in ways they would not do in boy mode, others say they can enjoy BDSM in a much more relaxed and submissive (occasionally dominant) form. Some say it allows them to dress in a fetish way, many say it allows the sub sissy to come out. Most say it allows them to switch off and feel good about themselves for a moment.
A few say it starts them down the TS route because they suddenly feel more comfortable in day-to-day life when dressed as a woman where they can be how they feel inside. It’s oh so complicated and not as one-dimensional as some outsiders would have you believe. What is most important is that we can finally move over to the enlightened side and change our perspective on life. So many say that having visited this side of their personality they find normal day-to-day dinner parties rather boring because the do not have the depth of conversation that they have in girl mode.
 But this changeover of mindset does not happen instantly and it takes a bit of introspection to find out what is going on in your head. You probably have to try a lot of things out before you realise what it is that drives you. It’s not schizophrenic its more a duality of personality that you can switch between as your mood takes you. If you like me enjoy playing with both sides that makes for a great life. However if this creates turmoil and gender dysphoria in your head then you have to see a counsellor before it starts to disrupt your thoughts causing stress and strain in your everyday life.
So what do I mean by a change of mindset? It’s not easy to explain as its something going on in your head that makes you realise that the way you are thinking and acting is not what you were doing half an hour ago. Putting on clothes and make up is not a change of mind its crossdressing. And crossdressing normally can be associated with a lot of fantasies  and sexual desires that are enhanced by certain aspects of clothing. This is where the crossdresser and the Transvestite are always confused. Confusion also arises with TS’s because they are to all intents a woman not someone who dresses up to show off her alternative persona.
A Transvestite needs to get into a complete situation where the show of hair make up dress heels etc. is an outward manifestation of what is going on inside their head. This is particularly why Trannies tend to dress a bit more overtly than their TS friends. The Tranny is making their own personal statement that this is who they are and is not concerned that they stand out or look like ‘a Tranny’ God Forbid!. If the short skirt the high heels the OTT make up do it for you then that is what you do its part of who you are that is definitely not conformist anymore. It ain’t gonna be hidden! The TS on the other hand is a woman and as such endeavours to blend in and be more of the norm in female society. So many TS’s and women have asked me why do you dress like a Tranny and not like a ‘real’ woman, to which my answer is because I am a Tranny!img_2894
Little aside here is I hate the destruction of the words Transvestite and Tranny by our American cousins who see the word as related to purely a person who dresses up in the clothes of the opposite sex for sex! They bastardised the word in the 80’s and 90’s and now frown on it and expect the rest of the world, who kept clear distinctions to adopt their position. They now merge crossdresser and Transvestite into the same package. Stand up for us UK Transvestites and reeducate the Yanks. Rant over!
So when does this change of mind happen? For me it varies. Something I see on the web, in the street or in a conversation conjures up the feelings that make me want to dress. It takes a little time to foment as I have always been a person who likes events not things done on the spur of the moment. I love the whole planning of the look, the outfits how I am  going to do things etc. I love the whole build up of expectation as to what I am going to do and how I am going to do it.
I tried to explain this to my partner Susie at her Chateau Femme dressing service. Her clients have booked in most cases several weeks ago and have put a lot of thought into their look and what they want from the day. In the week before they will be very excited by what is going to happen  and it will put a lot of pressure on her to deliver something that many find difficult to elucidate. Great that she is psychic! Most of her girls say they love the whole aspect of sitting in the make up chair having her put on the make up it is at that time that their mind turns.
Anyway these thought build up more and more of Tara in my mindset up to the moment when I am in front of the mirror when the male side starts to drift away. Well some aspects. because let’s be honest you are looking at a bloke who is about to put make up on and create the girl. (note to all learn better make up skills)!  As my transfer progresses from showering to makeup to dressing I find myself moving deeper and deeper into the femme mindset. In particular, for me, when the wig goes on that normally is the moment of realising you are there! After that its a case of embellishing it with some great heels!
However It is odd that some days I am standing in front of the mirror putting on my makeup or an item of clothing or a wig and expecting that final rush of the change to happen and it just does not occur. For some reason or other I am stuck in a halfway house.
In the past I would carry on regardless and realise after about an hour or two into my time as Tara that in fact I was still a ‘cock in a frock’, I am not relaxing and frustrated with not ‘being there’. The whole event would have felt like a waste of time. Nowadays I tend to realise fairly early on if this shift is going to happen or not and if it’s a NO I just take everything off and go down the pub in boy mode regretting the fact that I miss the genuine deep relaxation that Tara gives me.
Girl.Question.MarkOf much more of a concern is how quickly I can switch back into boy mode even when I am on a real high on the femme side . Or maybe that is how quickly I can switch off girl mode and return to true type. Not sure. Certainly I see myself a s a man who likes to get in touch with his feminine side through dressing, not a woman in a man’s body who wants to be out all the time. There is no fun in that! That is why I hate people asking me why I do not dress more often. Tara is special not day-to-day and I enjoy doing to when the mood takes me. Times, place and event vary.
But its is odd that one moment the girl is there and suddenly you realise its gone and you just want to go home and change because you know that it’s not going to come back. This is particularly quick when my friends call me by my male name or start to treat me as one of the lads or boyfriend or the person who is expected to do the fetching and carrying because that is what i might do in boy mode.
The opposite also applies at the end of a particularly good evening when you are on your Tranny high and you do not want to give these feelings up. The whole event has gone so well and you are buzzing, the last thing you want to do is take it all off and return to Mr Vanilla. This come down has to be managed so you create a slow process of taking off the whole person to gradually allow you to go to sleep without feeling too frustrated that this wonderfully relaxed pastime is about to end.
The mind is a wonderful place for experimentation and play. It’s a great place to visit for your highs but can also be a horrible place for your lows. We all probably over think so many things to destruction. But do not let the mind dominate the bad aspects of your life. I have written in the past about Trannying being a coping strategy for many where they retreat into the sexy relaxation of the TV mindset. It is however not a substitute for reality checks nor is putting on a wig. You still have to realise if you are not a TS this is a fun pastime for you to enjoy as you wish.
At the time of writing this its high summer and 28 degrees outside not the time for wearing a Balaclava (wig) for me but for others its something they must do it’s not fun! Enjoy within reason XXX
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