Now I know this may cause controversy but as I wrote in a previous post there has to be a break between the Transvestite and the Transsexual.  With the growth in acceptance and rights of Transsexuals  we Transvestites are in danger of being subsumed and completely misunderstood in the great Trans debate.

At a recent dinner party with two Transsexuals I realised how big the chasm that exists between us is. I have talked in the past how I hate how Transsexuals make a beeline for me and others in bars and clubs to say ‘WTF are you doing here you are not a real woman’ This is a personal dislike. I have of several TS friends who realising their cause is in the ascendancy are now trying to dictate to so many others who do not follow their ‘norms’. For God’s sake girls live and let live and stop pushing your myopic diktats on people who are just out for a good time and allow them to express themselves in their own way. Don’t vent your frustration on others who you think queer the pitch so you can get what you want.

Steps off soapbox to take an objective view of TVs.

So let’s  get real here. For the bulk of us transvestites (as opposed to cross-dressers) being dressed is a way of  expressing an aspect of their personality in a particular way. My girlfriend who runs the dressing service Chateau Femme sees this every day. It is a kink, but not in the BDSM way, though that may be one’s bag. By kink I define it as an unconventional sexual preference or behaviour. Too much writing in the past has been about Trannies going out just to get laid and not just for some fun times expressing their identity in a particular way. Yes its overt they dont want to blend in! That being said there is a strong sexy buzz about the whole thing as I wrote in this article. But it’s a mindset, not a way to a shag. There are lots of easier ways to that than spending hours getting dressed up!

The growth of things such as Ru Paul’s Drag and many androgynous social media does blur a lot of the boundaries. A drag queen is gay (theoretically!) . A Transvestite or Tranny ( we own that word) is addicted to the look and the headspace and whatever that produces. To be honest most of us look at ourselves through rose tinted specs. What I see in the mirror is not reality, its wonderfully fake form of escapism for a short period of time. More akin to Cosplay than being a woman. A decent bit of photoshop might help, no a huge amount of photoshop helps the ‘Look At Me moment. Don’t you just love fake! By the way if you don’t see yourself as fake get a reality check. This is pure escapism.

I have written in the past about gender and sexuality being two different continuums and we TVs love to play along both, we don’t occupy one exact position we shift with the lipstick. Hence we find the amount of boxes available with which to identify far too confusing. We dont want to conform to some norm we just want to be mad. We need to express ourselves in a variety of ways . That is why it is impossible to put a finger on what motivates the average Tranny. We have so many guises and we try to push boundaries all the time.

A Transsexual has found complete identity in being a woman, not biologically, but full of so many female traits. She wants to blend into society her way.  She more than others is offended by TVs because they bugger up the position they have spent a long time trying communicate in order to be understood. But this is bigoted especially when some will not bare any form of criticism or be mimicked! You should not look like that I have had said to me on many occasions by TS’s.

TV’s have both , so called, male and femme (please not female) traits and we enjoy exploring both sides. In my case the more the difference the better. I don’t like androgyny its a cop out. I like exploring both aspects of my persona and amazed what they do to my personality, oh and my make up. For example why as soon as you are in femme mode do you raise your arms like a dog begging with a slightly limp wrist and you start waving them around like windmills and talk about yourself incessantly! Me Me bloody Me!

Stop It And Enjoy

But let’s analyse ourselves.

  • Do we think we are a woman? No we enjoy the feminine traits that remain hidden in boring male mode.
  • Do we want to live like a woman? No we enjoy the moments of total relaxation that this allows us to live in the moment. I love how I can just switch off for a few hours.
  • Do we want to blend in? Bloody hell no we want to stand out! We enjoy being different and love the buzz it gives us.
  • Do we want to pull? No I think we enjoy the attention, the admiration and the whole aspect of being chatted up (by both males and females alike) and playing sexy mind games. Sometimes this ends up in sex but unless you are gay I think its much more about the outright fun that being dressed allows.
  • Do we think we are beautiful? Oh yessir! If you saw the man before he dressed up then look at what emerges after 2 hours of ready mixed fillers, silicone implants and four layers of warpaint plus that person defining wig you would think so too. Yep rose tinted specs. We will gloss over the heavy set chin the big hands and shoulders, the walk looking like a person with 2 rolls of carpet under their arms etc. etc. etc.
  • Will this go away? Sorry but its quite a compelling drive and it may lie dormant but it keeps resurfacing from time to time. Many use it as a coping strategy that allows them to get away from life’s stresses. When the stresses go so do some of the desires to dress. Funny that!

So we have to stop hiding this side of ourselves and shying away from the expressive person we are and stand up to those who would bring us down for not being a real woman. Accept that its is a kink and to be enjoyed but not in excess and tio the exclusion of others. Be responsible
Welcome to the beginning of the end for Covid. Time to get out once again.
Tara XXX