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How do you tell your partner you are a Tranny? It is so hard to explain what you are feeling and why you are as you are. The first step is to start communication between you. So this is a letter to the partners of Trannys not for you girls. Hopefully it is something you might pass on to your partner or adapt as you see fit for them to read, but only if you agree with it as its only my perspective and something I wish I had had the courage to write many years ago!
Dearest Darling,
I wanted to start this letter with the words I am sorry for being a Transvestite. But that is wrong, it’s not true. What I am sorry for is hiding it from you. For keeping such an intimate and personal thing from you for so long. For the hurt and loss of trust my revealing a deeply felt desire within me has now literally been dumped in your lap. I desperately hope you won’t be appalled by shock of this revelation and would ask you to read this before passing your initial judgement on me and my activities. I just ask you to approach things with an open mind.Partners Discuss
Let it be said first and foremost that I love you dearly and I hope we can get through this awkward time and come out stronger than before with a better understanding of each other, and hopefully a new fun layer to our relationship. I appreciate it has come as a total bombshell and hope it wont result in a knee-jerk reaction without us having time to talk about it.
 I have not suddenly changed overnight but for a variety of reasons have hidden this from you with the misguided thought that it would help both our relationship and our life. I now know this was wrong but it seemed the easiest way. This side of me has been something I have been simultaneously embarrassed to tell you about and something that gives me immense pleasure. It is something that is innate within me and I don’t believe it will go away. So it is something I feel we must address. I have tried over many years  to stop this drive within me with varying degrees of success, but realise this only creates internal stress and I now have come to accept that it is a part of me that cannot be suppressed.
Let me first and foremost say I am not gay and dress to attract members of the male sex. But I also recognise that I am also not 100% heterosexual either. I see these two titles as either end of a continuum and believe that people are rarely at either extreme we are all somewhere along the route. I also believe that there is a gender spectrum and people like me are fairly fluid between the male and female ends. I do not want to become a woman but I do enjoy dressing and acting the part as it addresses a side of my personality that is unfulfilled in male mode.
My personality does change when dressed  but not dramatically. I hope I retain all the things you like about me but within a much more calmer,softer, relaxed person.  I would like you to see my other side if and when you are ready. But you have to decide if and when. I am not pretending it will be easy seeing your partner dressed up in a dress, heels, wig and make-up but I have been doing it for several years and its time for us to discuss the possibilities of this persona being introduced into our lives in some form or other. It’s not a separate person just another aspect of my make up that comes out from time to time. I have hidden it because I know that society does not openly accept people like me, but at the end of the day I know when I am dressed I am a nicer person. I feel freer and feel less restricted by society’s expectations of me.I feel more complete for having dressed for a short time, not all the time!Shock
I am not a crossdresser as these people tend to be fixated on a particular item of clothing, that’s more a fetish like rubber or leather. Nor am I a Transgender person because I do not feel I was born a woman in a man’s body, just somebody who feels through dressing they can express an aspect of themselves that is normally hidden. I get a very strong natural high from my changeover as it seems to release something inside me or allow an aspect of me that is not normally on show.  I dress because I like the headspace that the girl side occupies and get a thrill from switching. I don’t want to dress as a woman all the time more something I can do occasionally, hopefully with you.
I believe society puts us into strict boxes and this is not right as we both have a male and female side (X and Y chromosomes) to a greater or lesser extent. The problem is that we become stereotyped and then have to conform to those norms. The result is unhappy people unable to express themselves as they see fit. We are called an aberration by some as everyone tries top be ‘normal’. This is particularly relevant in men. Women can wear trousers men can’t wear skirts. Why? What is so bad with us dressing up as well?
Why this has come about is very complicated and I am sure I do not fully understand myself but it is a very strong drive within me. I hope we can discuss this as both rational and emotional beings and find a solution to a way forward. There is absolutely no way I want to end our beautiful relationship but I do know  the girl has to come out from time to time, hopefully with your acceptance and approval, and we have to address the issues this raises. I am no oil painting when dressed but the nner feeling I have is of utter contentmentI so hope we can find a way forward as there is nobody else I would rather share this with than you.
I do realise this could be embarrassing for you particularly with friends and family. You will naturally worry what they will say if this ever comes out but please be assured I will never embarrass you with anyone to which you are connected. I also realise that this will leave you in an emotional void where you feel you have nobody with whom to talk to in order to understand why I am as I am and what you should do. I can help you with many people who have gone through this traumatic time but hopefully the starting point is us.
You may feel that you are somehow losing the person you love or you may wonder who is this stranger because this side of me has been hidden from you for so long. But inwardly I am still the same partner who has been by your side all these years. I have hidden this because I love you. But I realise that at sometime I will, most likely, be discovered or caught out so I have to open both you and I up to the pain of re-connecting in a new way.
You will feel you have been misled and lied to for many years and you may fear for our lives together. You may think that you have heard this happen to others but are surprised when it comes down top yo. You will probably feel isolated as you have nobody but me to talk to about it, You may feel you did something wrong. You did not. This is all of my making and I fully respect if you may be shocked by this type of behaviour and want nothing to do with it. But please give us both a fighting chance.Transvestite and Wife
I hope we can focus on what we love about each other how we can have good times together regardless. and the realisation that this is an occasional thing that might just be a bit of fun. Then I do hope we have the basis for a new and long-lasting relationship. My passions, my loyalty, my humour my intellect, my love for you and the kids will not change, it will just be accompanied by a pair of 4 inch high heels, occasionally!
I appreciate things are not going to be the same but I hope we can change things for the better and achieve a greater understanding and can bring us closer together. It’s also a chance for you to look at what you want from our relationships given these revelations. I will make every endeavour to accommodate what you want. Try me and my new self you may be surprised how calmer and more relaxed I am in my ‘femme’ side. Please give it a chance for all we hold dear.
OK we Trannies like to dress and enjoy the whole aspect of transforming ourselves into our alter ego. Well I do and that is the whole purpose of these blogs! But the main question we constantly ask is what drives us to be like this and why do I consistently need to come back to this? Why can I go some time without dressing and then something sets it off and the girl emerges?
Girl.Question.Mark
From my initial experiences of dressing I know it was very much a bit of sexual fun. In the early years I got very excited by the whole turn-on of dressing and enjoyed the immense physical thrill of it all in mind and body! This was a rare activity in a busy life and my reasons for doing this were mixed. But as the years progressed I now realise it has become a much deeper experience and an essential part of me. The thrill and excitement of the whole process of getting ‘made-up’ has now been replaced by a need to achieve that calmness that I now get from being dressed. But what was driving this? Why at times do I have this internal desire to get out as Tara that is way beyond the initial heady rush of being dressed?
Having been loosely involved with my girlfriend Susie’s dressing service Chateau Femme I have  been exposed to others like myself who have moved down the path from realising this is something they like to do to the reality that it is innate within them. I have as a result found several reasons why this might occur. I am sure there are others but this is how I see the majority of us being driven into this world of the ‘third sex’.
Firstly for some there’s still that strong sexual nature to the whole aspect of dressing. It is an intensely erotic feeling when one dresses. You seem to be fulfilling an internal desire and the whole process of changing from the male to female persona is an incredibly sensual ride. I can still remember the first time I put stockings on bear legs!!! Part of this is the whole change of mindset and just physically letting go. I have alluded to it in previous posts about switching off and de-stressing. 2013-10-30 08.41.19Some do it very quickly, for others it takes a couple of days for that change of mindset. For some it’s the wig for others its shoes we all have different drives but there is no doubt when dressed we find ourselves in a altered state of heightened excitement which as the years progress becomes much more internalised than that thing in your pants! For some of us however this desire of being physically turned-on never goes away. This is the core reason why many dress and this can lead to an altered state of sexuality that we would never have in boy mode. This allows us to fulfil fantasies that we would otherwise leave in our minds, it somehow gives us permission to experiment behind the mask of the girl. For a lot of us this is where we stop and allow ourselves just to enjoy this for what it is.
Sexy Fun.
The second area is what I call the reflected person. This relates to either something we may have experienced with a female family member as a child or an attitude to a girlfriend or lover. Some Trannies can look far back into their childhood and identify some act that has forever been etched on their mind and has driven this fantasy into reality. Their mother’s stockings, a secretary’s skirt, a red lipstick, a wedding dress. These become the springboard for their next steps in Transvestism. This is bordering on compulsion and it does become the key driver in your dressing activities. Wedding Dress
Many of us like to adopt a look that we would ideally like our girlfriend or lover to look like, but for reasons, mainly how society judges them, they would never be out in that attire or that look!. ‘That is far too short a skirt a woman of my age can wear in today’s society!’ We as Trannys can get away with it because we are a bit of an aberration and do not conform to society’s norms. But we are missing that element in our lives and this helps us to cope with it not being around the house. This then gives us an excuse to indulge as we see fit and not as others expect us to do. So many people will say about other women ‘My God she looks like a Tranny’ because of the way she is dressed. Of course so many Trannies do dress in a very provocative and highly tarty manner. In most cases this their choice of the style they would like to portray and not a wardrobe malfunction. They do not seek to ‘pass’ they seek to show off the things they enjoy seeing on others. Many will see themselves as having great legs or they just like legs so will wear a short skirt. Others its a bosom fetish so the chest grows exponentially. For some its a blonde for others its a pair of heels and so on. The way they dress is a genuine expression of how they want to look when they see themselves in the mirror.tumblr_nbhyg5zCw11sx7ek6o1_540
A third viewpoint is the whole aspect of fetishistic dressing that drives the way they are doing something that is not really acceptable. The fact that it is a bit naughty, a little vulgar and racy creates a certain frisson that is both exciting and liberating. By indulging we release an inner fun-seeker that sees this as a part of their playful self. I know that I should not be wearing a dress, far less a short dress out in public but, oh it’s such fun to be the centre of scrutiny! To be doing things that are risqué and provocative  The fetishistic side can also manifest itself in the attraction to particular types of clothes, materials or aspects of dressing but this is more for a cross-dresser than a Tranny. A Tranny enjoys the complete transformation and the whole change of personality that goes with it. They then want to get out and show off either in public or at targeted clubs. I like to think that with a little confidence and belief most Trannies would like to get out if they could as its part of gaining recognition and acknowledgement for who/what they are! The whole dressing builds their own internal esteem by letting the inner slut out!
For some dressing is about identity. The fact that in male form they attract little or no interest but by being ‘different’ they somehow find a place and recognition from those around them that they would otherwise not gain. No longer that grey normal man in the corner who is not really interesting now a point of interest that people want to talk to. It gives them purpose and the social status that they crave. I know if I was dressed as a male I would be sitting on my own at a bar for most of the evening having to make conversation as there are so many people like me. But dressed as Tara I represent something different and others never fail to talk to me even if I am at the same bar on my own! I may be seen as an oddball but it’s far worse to be invisible if there is that gregarious person inside me that wants to get out! Its not necessarily about showing off just being different both for ourselves and for others that with a little change of mindset for others makes us part of life’s rich tapestry. Yes there are some that are offended but far better to have that and be noticed!
Showing off may be one thing but I do see a very large number who use dressing as an element of escapism from their day-to-day issues. Many are unhappy with their lot, others are just very stressed, some spend their whole day making decisions and want to get away from it, some like me love the way in which I can stop the world for a little while and live totally in the moment. A switch off mechanism or should that be some form of alternative meditation?
Dressing to this group is a route to get away from it all. For a period of time it takes away all the anxiety of tomorrow by allowing them to live in the present. In male mode we are trying to sort out problems, we are planning our future, thinking of what we have to do to protect our loved ones, how we can make ends meet etc. When we are dressed we can purely focus on the moment and escape into a mindfulness that allows us to enjoy the present.
The female side also allows them to give way to their inner self which in the day is hidden, They are allowed to let those feelings come out when dressed. They can get away from the ‘Man Up’ attitude of society that conditions them to act in a way that is alien to the way they really are. They are expected to be the breadwinner, be the leader, be the big hairy person who comforts all around, the person they should look up to as a role model and not put a foot wrong. They have to be strong in times of crisis and not have feelings. ‘For God’s sake it is not a man’s place to cry’ and they should bottle up those feelings whilst other around and unburden theirs.
Putting on a dress, makeup, heels and wig allows another person to emerge. We can change our identity into that inner person. A more genteel side can be brought to the front that has been hidden far away from what people expect from them. This is why it’s very difficult for Trannies to tell their partner. It’s not how they are expected to be. But a true feeling person does emerge. IMG_1706
None, and I mean none, of the Trannies I know are bad people to each other or those around them. They are so much more gentle and caring when dressed. OK they can be a bit bitchy and want to talk about themselves all the time, but most are encouraging and try to be helpful particularly to newcomers. They enjoy the moment they are living in and the fun they can have. All of us are a little selfish as we know that very soon this time of escapism will come to an end and we have to make the most of it! When it does end they experience mixed emotions. The fact that they are losing the ‘girl’ and re-entering the big world is a downer but the memories of the fun time will sustain them until the next.
How and when those next times arise are very different. A friend of mine says the dressing urge abates with every new girlfriend who normally departs on discovering his other side as they can’t cope with the two personalities. However, on his own, the girl comes out from those deeper reaches. Another is a high powered executive making multi million dollar deals on a daily basis. The girl side allows him to forget everything and give into a sissy side that hands control to others. One is just at a time in life where the empty nest has resulted in him being able to reassess his life/marriage and the girl releases a side of his personality that he/she has kept hidden for so long. Others are dabbling with Transsexualism and going through a bit of a gender crisis. The dressing is a starting point to looking at their whole identity. Some feel that their real personality in male form is completely suppressed and that, as a Tranny we can be a little naughty and express ourselves far more openly. To some it’s pure escapism from the drudgery of a boring life again allowing them to enhance their lives.
I have said in the title that I thought that dressing was a coping strategy for life. A way to allow one to overcome issues one may have because so many feelings and emotions are hidden and need to get out. But having written this article I realise it’s deeper than that and it’s a mix of reasons. Being a Tranny is an essential part of you that needs to have some form of expression that is away from the norms of our daily existence, that does not conform, that allows us to be expressive and sexy.
Subtez

Yes sexy, to some a short mini skirt is sexy to others a wedding dress, for another office suit, a long summer dress whatever. It’s allowing you to make a clear statement about you that does not conform to designated standard average as defined by society. Yawn!

So whatever drives you and floats your boat just enjoy the moment because the boy side will be back and let’s be honest you like that side as well. If not you are not in my humble opinion a Trannny!  XXX

Sorry I have been absent for some time it has purely been about taking a pause for breath. Sometimes the whole Trannying thing can be too much. It can take over and dictate your life far, far too much. Especially if like me you see it as a great hobby a bit of fun and a sexy pastime. But from time to time it can start to dominate your waking and sleeping moments. You are constantly planning your next outing, buying clothes, deciding on places/events to go to, who to go with etc. It’s all part of that buzz of being ‘the girl’. The days leading up to the event are awash with many alternative thoughts as to what you might do, if you might be recognised, if you might get some abuse, will you really look that good. It’s a heady whirl of fun for a few hours when you relax as the other person.
AppleMark

AppleMark

This is great and just like any fun you have to be aware of it turning into an addiction. If you are not going to move down the Trans route then you desperately need to balance things for your life, your partner, your friends and family. Trannies by their nature are selfish beasts because they rarely get to dress. So when they are in girl mode they want to talk about themselves and their alternative identity to the exclusion of all others. This in the main is because we don’t really understand why we are as we are and we want to find out more about ourselves by discussing it on our terms. We do this because we have limited time as ‘the girl’ and enjoy indulging in it for very very selfish reasons. Its innate within us for sure but very hard to describe why. This selfishness however can have a detrimental effect on those around us.
Susie my partner who runs the Chateau Femme dressing service sees this all the time. With so many girls all she has to ask is how are you? 30 minutes later there is a pause for breath for the next question. How are you feeling? Then 30 minutes later and so on you get my drift? The girls love this release and the chance to discuss with someone their innermost thoughts and feelings which are normally hidden in this ‘Man Up’ world. There is no real chat about the weather. politics, the economy just about the girl inside. This is fine in a dressing situation because it is about the girl and Susie intrinsically understands the need for a release of those pent up emotions. She knows that in reality we can only truly talk about our femme side when dressed and in many cases this is all to infrequent and the bottled up emotions come flooding out as soon as the wig goes on (see my previous post)!
However when it comes to social occasions I find all to frequently that many girls continue with this diatribe to the exclusion of all others in the group. They just have to get it out and try to turn all conversations to their inner thoughts about me, me, me. The result is that you watch the group switching off, good conversation does not flow and it ruins the night for others.
Occasionally talking about yourself is fine as long as it’s not a permanent part of the conversation. You have to start considering others. I know in the past I have had a dammit attitude and this has affected my relationships with others. It is also good to take a long hard look at yourself.
I recently had some time off from Tara to reflect on myself and you relationship with Susie. She was concerned the Tara side was becoming too frequent because she likes the boy side as well. I was concerned that I was doing Tara purely to help her and not really doing it for myself. The law of diminishing returns was being invoked and there was friction. We needed some space to have a good look at where things were going!Tranny Mirror
I was quite surprised how quickly I did not miss Tara. I approached things from a fresher perspective knowing this elephant was not in the room and did not have to plan anything around her, so had plenty of time to get on with the other side of my life. All thoughts of Tara went to the back of my mind and I got on with living and loving! We had no discussions or chit chat about Tara for 2 weeks and she was put firmly away for a month. However as the month progressed we started to talk about what it meant to both of us and we found we had so much common ground that had been lost in a couple of issues we had.
I realised that I had got into the wrong mindset (for me) of Tara and was sending out the wrong signals (unintentional) in the way I might dress and how I acted. Susie saw that she also had taken the ‘clues’ in the wrong way  and that she actually liked the girl side around as well. We came not to a compromise but to a middle way that actually has been so beneficial to us both.
I have now purposely limited the amount of times I dress and as a result as I get a bigger hit. Its the old maxim, less is more, though this should not be applied to the length of your dress!!. I go out less often and we always go out together! The result has put control and balance in our lives as both of us have to chose our timings very considerately and carefully. We are much much happier for this. This I might add was our solution it is not a panacea for all.
You might say this is great for couples but what if I am single? In my opinion the same applies as I have seen so many girls who see the whole dressing side dominating their every waking moment and this in itself causes stress and sometimes depression. In some ways it can be a fill-in for boredom, an extra in a life that may not have sex at the moment, some just like looking pretty, others find the whole mindset de-stressing getaway from the issues of day-to-day life.
But the thing is this is not genuine reality. When you take the wig and slap off you still see the bloke in the mirror and that is not going to go away. What you have to do is enjoy the moment on a regular and structured basis and not let it drive you. Accept that is part of you yes, it is not going to go away by some form of magic. If you are not going down the TS route then this is a fun side of you that happens from time to time. Start for example by saying ‘right I will dress only once a week’ and see what the effect is. Plan the day but don’t get over obsessed as this being the highlight of your week, Just get on and enjoy. After a month look back and see if you are enjoying things more or less and then adapt. But put a measure of control on it for your own sanity!
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This applies particularly to those who are coming to dressing for the first time. That heady rush that you get from realising that this is innate to you, you have denied yourself for so long and suddenly you want to make up for lost time, to catch up with the others who have been out long before you. You realise there are so many things to explore and learn to get out to so many places to meet others. But stop it will happen in time but you cannot let it become your exclusive preserve to the exclusion of all those around you. You need balance and have to reign those desires in and manage the competing demands on your time. Stop being selfish and realise that life is about others as well. Here endeth the first lesson!!!

OK being a Transvestite is not exactly the norm in society but why do so many of us have a guilt complex about being one? I have always maintained that the principle reason for this is that society inculcates and indoctrinates us with certain so called rules or standards from a very early age that we all feel  guilty when we break them. Take for example Religion. At school we had to take Religious Education and in some cases were forced to attend Church/Mosque/Shrine to instil certain beliefs. If we come to decide that these beliefs are false we still feel guilty when we say we do not believe in parts of the teaching that appear wrong. So when we dress and get a certain amount of pleasure out of it we are driven by a sense of guilt that what we are doing is wrong.img_3910

This is based on a fallacious proposition. Who are we offending? What is so wrong with a man to put on a dress after all women wear trousers? High heels were a huge male fashion item in the seventeenth century why are they so stereotyped now? Why can’t a person alter their shape to a more appealing form? Men as as a generalisation have better legs than women why can’t they show them off in a short skirt and nylons I think This is because in today’s society image conscious the man is meant to look, well ‘masculine’and the woman is meant to be ‘pretty’! There are no written rules but a he’ll of a lot of prejudice. If the man should waver into being pretty then it starts to bugger up all the roles and status in society and well it’s just not manly, and woe betide the man that looks prettier than a woman…bitch …bitch! So the reality is its us the Trannies, or is that Trannys, who have to change our mindset and say ‘Sod It Society’ I am an independent free thinker who does not want to offend but finds certain things others may see as so called offensive a totally baseless proposition and, even as a man, I am going to get on with it! Damn your preconceived perceptions of what a Tranny is and does. Denying this to yourself can be bad for your health with frustration, stress and the constant thinking as to when you can next dress distracting you from so many more important things such as your family’s health and lifestyle. It’s a strong force within but no where near the top of things such as a roof over your head and a meal on the table. But it’s still a strong aesthetic drive.

tumblr_lzoe3r6e6X1qj1ijqo1_400The thing for us Transvestites is that we do not have a specific term of reference in the same way as a Transsexual has. In most cases the TS has known they wanted to be a girl from an early age. Transsexuals identify with gender, many say Transvestites identify with sexuality. But I think it’s too simplistic. Put tenTrannies in a room and you will get ten different reasons why they dress. Try explaining why you like to dress to someone and it is quite difficult to communicate the fact that it just feels so right to your inner being. I am amazed when Transvestites congregate around the table there is a very clear understanding between them what they are feeling on the in..side and even though many Genetic Girls might be present they have great difficulty comprehending what is going on inside that crazy mixed up mind. They have empathy but not understanding. This is one of the reasons why wives cannot comprehend why their husband wants to dress, it’s those inner feelings which cannot be explained in words alone. I also think there are other reasons for partners rejecting the Tranny such as mix up of role models in the family and social perspective problems but I have talked about these in other posts, so will not dwell.

What I think motivates this need to dress is that there is probably a male and female aspect to our personality and we identify with both parts to a certain degree in our make-up. I think a Transsexual whilst accepting there may be a small male part to her identifies much more clearly with the feminine side and that is her strongest drive. With the Transvestite the masculine aspect is a much stronger persona but the feminine side is something that has to be indulged from time to time to maintain balance of the whole.The regularity of this of course varies from person top person.

I like both sides but my male side is the more dominant driver through my choice not society’s. Tara is about creating an illusion, a fantasy an element of fun escapism.This is not my own hair, face, boobs, shape, in fact its almost an artform (Oh God Grayson Perry comes to mind here!), But it is a definite fantasy and the male side is the more boring reality. I have always said I adore the change of mindset that comes from boy to femme and that has always been the thing that floats my boat allowing true escapism.  A good friend of mine has found the feminine side has given her immense calm and focus in her life and spends most of her time enfemme! Even contemplating the chop! However she still has to dress as the male from time-to-time for society as her family (and girlfriends) are not as accepting of the female. It’s such a shame so many people still frown about such a small thing.

CHELTENHAM, UNITED KINGDOM - OCTOBER 15: Grayson Perry , Turner Prize winning Artist and Potter, poses for a portrait at the Cheltenham Literature Festival on October 15, 2009 in Cheltenham, England. (Photo by David Levenson/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Grayson Perry

I also love the fact that many from my group of Transvestites move down the road from dressing to identifying that they have a more female dominant part to their persona and then start down the Transsexual route. I feel we have helped them discover themselves and sometimes some inner peace. What pisses me off though is how many of them then become like reformed smokers and look with disdain at their old friends who have not ‘become a true woman’ in their minds and subsequently reject the group that allowed them to discover their new route. Ironically they now look at us as social lepers who no longer conform to their new standards. They ironically have moved back to society’s norms. So hypocritical! Bitch Bitch!

Come on Tara stop bitching and get on with life it’s far too short to worry what others are thinking!

(Ironically I found this letter to Society   from a woman which had me drawing two different thought processes one was good for you girl the other was…I so want to do so many of those things you want to stop).Never Done

I have always said being a Transvestite is a great pastime and is just one part of my personality. It allows me a form of expression that has quite a schizophrenic nature to it which I relish. The boy is very different from the girl and I try to maintain distance between them. I have always loved the flip from boy to girl. But I have always thought that I am quite happily in control of both sides even though I of course let the girl run a little wild from time to time. At least this was what I said to a group of co-conspirators the other night. A good friend, Danni Stone, begged to differ and likened it much more to a struggle against a strong impulse or urge that desperately needed to be satisfied and in reality I was not in control. The fact that this has been a constant in my persona for so long even though I knew society frowned upon it in general but I still pursued it with all the issues it gave me. I was giving into something that I was not supposed to be doing. But the urge was so strong I gave in to temptation!

chrome switch flipped in the on position

What Turns You On?

Because this transition is not a permanent one it has several downsides. For example Danni and I both agreed that one of the worst failings we had was that we tended to buy a new outfit and wear it only once or twice before the thrill of the newness of the outfit might wear off a bit. We had tried one look and would go in search of a new one purely because we did not get enough time to dress as much as we would sometimes like. We would like to buy a new outfit for the pure exhiliaration of a new look. This to many can also apply to the venues you go out to the types of people you meet. Many of the girls I hang out with love the shock value of what their arrival somewhere can achieve in a new bar or club. They constantly need to look for a new ‘hit’. One girl I know started her outside life in an normal hotel bar and within 6 months was trying working men’s clubs for a new fix! I know another buys a Chanel suit every 3 months and wears it twice! Is this who we are or is it becoming obsessive? We know its not our whole life but it is a lifestyle we adore.
In fact I would maintain most of us need a new hit be it in the form of an outfit, games at home, nights out or cyber fun! Its part of the nature of what dressing does to us inside and I am sure if this sexy and extrovert drive subsides then probably the drive to dress might also wane.  Bad news though many of my good friends are in their 70’s and 80’s and it has not subsided! And yes of course for some actual sex itself and its causal nature is also a very strong drive. So many girls love the fact that people come up to talk to them, compliment and proposition them when dressed rather than they are left in the corner when they are in ‘boy mode’. So are we in control?
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But Which Side Will Win?

Well I suppose the answer is start to take stock? Is this constantly at the front of your mind dominating your day-to-day thoughts? Are you getting frustrated if you are not getting dressed? Are you continuously planning your next night out? Is the spending on ebay starting to mount? Is your girl wardrobe well ahead of the boy’s? Do you find yourself looking through too many fashion periodicals or hours on the internet adding to your Facebook and Pinterest  sites? Are you writing too many blogs about being a Tranny to justify it? If you answer affirmatively to any of these then probably Danni was right and we have to get a grip on things. Have a conversation with yourself and look at the real priorities in our life Establish some rules and boundaries. Also look at what you really want to get out of being dressed and make sure that these come into line.  Then when you agree the time is right for God’s sake girl go for it!! XXX

Fear is the biggest reason and excuse for not doing something. Inaction seems to be the reason to avoid the potential negative consequences of what might happen should you actually do something. Not doing something leads to frustration, lower self worth and the wrong downward spiral. So start thinking about doing something and break this malaise!Fear
How many times have I wished that I became more open about my dressing much earlier than I did. How many people who attend my girlfriend’s dressing service Chateau Femme say they wished they had had the stomach to do this at a much younger age. And how many times have we heard from people who on going out for the first time say, damn this was such fun I just wished I had done it earlier. Fear my dear fear!
Its a New Year and we are all making numerous resolutions and for many Trannies it is normally I must get out once/more/lots more! But we put endless reasons in the way as to why we should not do something rather than look at the positives we will gain from new activities. Susan Jeffers in her excellent  book Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway highlights firstly that the main reason why we succumb to fear is that we cant handle the consequences. She goes on to show how by rationalising and diminishing these fears in your mind you develop more trust and confidence in yourself and the problems that may arise can be handled and are less of a barrier to doing something. Firstly however you have to confront your fears.
Trannies have a phenomenal library of reasons as to why we can’t handle this whole dressing thing. It’s not acceptable to society in general, its offensive to your family,  others don’t want to be associated with you because they worry about what people will say about them being seen with a Transvestite. You see it as a perversion not a part of your make up and persona. People say its not innate just a sick pastime. How do you tell anyone about this subject? How do you get out of the front door without being recognised? How do you hide your clothes from the family? The list is endless and the brick wall of reasons for not doing something are close to the Great Wall of China.no-fear1
All these fears and many, many more conspire to stop you doing something that feels totally innate within you. The reality is that well over 90% of our fears never come to fruition but we focus on the 10% because its a reason not to do something. We say No not Yes for comfort. Where these come from you can analyse ’til the cows come home but where it is going to take you is in your hands alone and these fears have to be conquered if you really want to move forward. You have to start saying Yes not No. I can’t offer a simple solution in one blog but hopefully help you with a bit of a reality check. I am going to focus on going out as probably the greatest barrier we put up and one of the easiest to conquer.
Lets get a few things straight. It is not a crime to dress as a woman and go out unless you are just being downright vulgar. If women can wear men’s attire why is it so wrong for the reverse? You are not the first crossdresser out there and society is now becoming quite accustomed to seeing them in public. There are very very few documented assaults either verbal or physical on TV’s. The chances of you being clocked in your wig and make up are very very small especially if you are not out in your home town.
I know you are out of your general comfort zone but isn’t that part of the fun. The whole excess of this activity is one part of the drive that makes you up. It is about sex but not necessarily sexual (see previous blogs) and for many that one of the three key personal drivers (along with money and power) that if not sated can cause changes in your character. Stop listening to the denial people. Those who have absolutely no idea what is going on in your mind cannot dictate your actions as long as those actions do not offend others. Do not let others put you down and give you a reason to back out. You have to do it once to realise its you who is putting up the barriers and in reality they are nonsensical.
OK now you have got over the societal implications now there are the practicalities. The bulk of Trannys, particularly on their first time out are read as being exactly that. I see them, you see them, we all see them and we let them get on with it. So what is the problem? The problem is with you. You have to turn off that voice in your head that says no no no. You may not have great make up, you may stagger a bit in your heels, your voice is deep, you sit like a man at table, that dress is a bit too short and  . All those will come with time, if you want them, but in the meantime just stop worrying about the small stuff. You may encounter a bit of whispering but counteract that thought with the fun you are having by being out. You are an oddity but not an offensive one. Just plan how to handle things ahead of time.Freedom-Is-Being-You
Susie wrote a good article to help you become confident on going out for the first time in her Chateau Femme Blog. Use this as a starting point if this blog has inspired you. Many of us have gone through these steps and nothing comes close to the combination of fear and exhilaration of the first time you have the courage to get out.
Believe me after your first time out your zone of comfort for going out will grow and the more you go out the less those ridiculous fears will disperse. I would however put a note of caution. Do still be aware what is going on around you as sometimes you can send out the wrong signals in your dress, mannerisms and actions. As a femme Transvestite you will attract a lot more attention of both the right and sometimes wrong persuasion. Its something many of us rough men cannot believe that when you are dressed others comet talk to you! Suddenly the social tables we are used to are turned and we find what it is like to be talked to first by both men and women alike. Quite exhilarating actually but at the same time odd to deal with.
The point is its not as big a deal as you make it out to be just follow Susie’s simple rules and you will be amazed what fun it is! If by any chance you would like a night out on the Souith Coast of England  with a mad bunch of similar minded Trannies come see our page for Susie’s Angels on Facebook. Hope to see you soon XXX
Bloody hell I love the fun of being a Transvestite. Give me this over a game of footie or rugby on the telly a night out at the pub or a good dinner party and there is no comparison, well maybe the dinner party! Even this month my girly wardrobe just overtook my male one! What does this mean I do not know. But blokewear is trousers shirt jumper jacket and combinations of the above. On the femme side it’s all of the above plus plus plus and plus. Its so wonderfully all encompassing. Christmas Stress
But this reminds me, as its that time of year when we can all go into shops and buy something for the ‘girlfriend’ ‘wife’ or ‘daughter’ for ourselves to beware of overindulging in this wonderful activity. As a ‘Transvestite’ that is exactly what it is. It’s not your life just a wonderful pastime which if left unrestrained can take over your life and affect all you loved ones. purely and simply because you follow your passion in a totally selfish and unfettered manner.
Susie my partner who runs the Chateau Femme dressing service says she is very wary of this. This applies especially when she sees a newbie who has never been able to transform before into the ‘girl’ of her dreams. With the size of wardrobe Susie has a beginner sees the myriad of possibilities that are now at their disposal! The result on departing is that they can tend to go mad in Primark where a vast array of cheap clothing in larger sizes is available (size 8/42 and 9/43 shoes hurrah!). But This could be a problem!
It’s a particular danger for new girls who suddenly have the freedom to dress as they please. And boy can you drain the family budget with your buying habits, if you have a family and you have not declared who you are, there will be some awful questions about your credit card bills at the end of the month.
And it’s not fair. I know it’s a part of you and you have to dress, but dishonesty about both your dressing, and spending is a double whammy on your partner. I did it and I suffered the consequences. I would say about 7 out of 10 of us have either been caught out or decide to tell their partner so it’s very likely this will happen to you. It’s the loss of trust between the two of you that is the worst, part it’s not the actual dressing, even though they may think that it is rather odd!
Dressing gives you a focus, a drive, a meaning to yourself, it does not give that to your partner. It says to her where was I in all this? Why do they never confide in me?  Why was I not included. It’s not about how perverted you, or how gay you are and how vulgar this activity is. Your partner is not thinking like that. They are wondering where they got things so wrong, where they now fit in your lives and what the neighbours/friends will think if you are discovered. gop-cross-dressers
But to you it says ‘wow’ the new opportunities are myriad. And it can clean out your bank account without you even thinking, it’s not yours it’s the family money and even if you are the major wage earner it’s not  yours alone. When I was married I had little storage space so did not spend that much since my separation I have done a lot of spending and it could have gotten out of control. I mean a massive wardrobe and only dressing once a week…gotta get a grip on reality!
So it’s Christmas time and it’s about thinking of others. It’s about taking stock and working out where you are and where you are going. There is enough information in my previous posts to say stop being too self-indulgent and think about how dressing might effect those around you. How spending too much time, money or simply the whole thought process can dominate your life. It’s not fair and to be honest not real either! You need balance as a TV you need to set yourself clear goals at this time of year and come to terms with your dual identity. I am  not saying tell your partner now I am saying get a grip and stop it dominating your life. It’s a great rush especially if you are new to dressing but it’s not a substitute for a good fun relationship.
 I have so many lonely TV’s who love the dressing side but desperately want a genuine girl (gg) who accepts that they like to dress. They have given up a good relationship for the fact that this drive to dress is so important to them that everything else is subsumed. The net result is that when their life is not dressed it feels empty. So they pursue dressing with a vigour that unfortunately never really replaces a good relationship. They will go down the routes of bisexual affairs, they wil try mistresses, they will think about gender reassignment and they will try being monogamous! But the need to be with  a real girl who understands them  will pervade and in the end it can leave you rather empty.Christmas Tranny
So my message at Christmas this year is think about what this means to you in your life. How it will affect your relationships and how you want things to progress. It’s that time of year when we all review our lives we make resolutions but we also have to think of those around us. This dressing thing is a very very strong driver but it is also a life destroyer if we allow it to progress unchained. Be very careful what you wish for and its consequences
A Very Happy Christmas to all of you XXX

As you all know I try to stand up for the Transvestite side in a world that seems to be going Transgendered/Transsexual crazy. The last 12 months has seen the whole TS movement go over the tipping point in terms of public awareness or at least titillation in relation to genetic males wanting to become female. There are so many Caitlyn (Bruce) Jenners and Kellie (Frank) Maloneys and Laverne Coxs coming out of the woodwork to make their stand, and money, that it has been great for the whole T population

Kellie Maloney

Kellie Maloney

in general. There are good things in this in that all T’s  are much more accepted at bars, restaurants and entertainment venues where you are no longer seen as a complete oddity. Retailers just see you as a source of revenue and we are now regarded as a niche market that is to  be targeted. Thanks Primark for size 8 and 9 (UK) shoes!

However this has also caused confusion in the general public as both TS’s and TV’s who tend to be wrapped up in the same ball-gown. Now all TGirls are seen as men wanting to be women and have their bits cut off! I am worried that we (TV’s) are being subsumed into the Transgendered culture and it being such a broad church we are assumed to be the same as the TS’s who are now in the mainstream. The gender identity (TS) vs sexual identity (TV) needs to be promoted more. Now I can hear howls of derision from some quarters that I am implying that being a TV is about sexuality, but this is not what I mean. I believe that in dressing we do experience a form excitement from adopting our femme personality. In the start its

Duality

Two Minds One Body

something that turns us on but as we age we realise its an innate part of us that allows us to relax into another role, particularly in our mindset. This in itself is the real turn-on.

TS’s suffer from gender dysphoria TV’s are very happy with their duality and enjoy the switch from one to another. They do this on a regular basis but it is not permanent. If they want to remain dressed en femme all the time I suggest they have moved further down the TS route

Personally I think we have both a male and a female side and that the stronger one is on one side the greater the urge to ‘play’ with the other side emerges. I am male first and foremost but so enjoy the femme side when I can. This is particularly relevant the more the other side is allowed out. Susie my partner who runs a dressing service called Chateau Femme always has concerns when she sees a new girl for their first time dressed in front of another living being. She knows that this experience is a bit like taking the genie out of the bottle. An inner desire has been exposed and all of the barriers one would have put in the way of stopping it will have been removed. The result of being fully transformed can take a number of routes. Some (a very few) will say no it’s not for me. Some will say ‘oh my God this is just what I needed’ (the vast majority) I will now start to do it on an occasional basis as the want within arises. And some will say this is so deep within me I have to do this on a very regular basis (quite a significant few). About 1 in 9 (sounds better than 1 in 10) she says will probably start down the TS route over time discovering that whilst they do not feel trapped in the wrong body they feel more comfortable in their female form and hence want to take things further.

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Its A Fantasy Becoming Real

I fall into the second category. I love the whole calmer, living for the moment experience dressing gives me. I get off the expectations of the male world and indulge in the more laid back relaxed nature of my femme (note not female) side. I don’t feel like a woman a bit girlish but the definitions are very blurred. There are so many words out there to describe us Gender Fuck (someone who purposefully messes with the concepts of gender) Androgyn (one who messes with identity principally in dressing up)  Genderfluid ( someone who floats between the genders) Pangender (someone who is all genders) and my personal favourite Polygender (someone who has more than one gender, either identifying as more than one gender at once). This amount of labelling makes communication with others as to why we like to dress so complicated. It will be a long time before the public understands a Transvestite, we are far too complicated to sum up in one sentence. And long may it reign. I don’t want to have my fun summed up in a simple sentence. I just want people to realise its a fun thing to do and does not hurt anyone…except…well figure it out!

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Its The Look

But whilst Transsexuals focus on who they are we Transvestites focus on what we are. In defining this our dressing is the most crucial element. Yes I am sure TS’s, and I am sorry to use this term as they are apart from some minor abnormalities women in their minds, who love to dress up and look fantastic, but it does not define them. With a Transvestite it is the way and style of dress that gives us our identity. Default for us is dress or skirt, rarely when we go out as a group do the girls wear looser fitting jeans or trousers, if they do you can be sure they are bloody tight fitting and accompanied by some sexy heels or boots!

This is why Trannies love to get the affirmation that they look good when dressed. They even prowl up and down the bar hoping they get a ‘wow you look good’ compliment. Its their look and their ‘need’ that somebody else finds their outfit as attractive as they themselves do. Many dress as they would like to see a woman dressed and it is part of the whole fantasy in which they indulge. This is not necessarily in a sexual sense just that they feel so good that they just hope it does it for others in the same way…psychologists please explain in more than 5 tomes!

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Even Trousers Can Look Cool In The Right Style!

If I am anything like the TV norm, and who is, then the real fun for me is in the planning of what I am going to wear. If I have enough free thinking time then for a few days before I know I am going to dress I love to look at all the options available. I enjoy browsing the Internet, opening the cupboard to new ideas, looking at old photos of outfits I have put together and generally looking for new inspiration within what is my style. This all helps the change of my mindset that I adore and it is part of my fantasy. But it is the clothes and the actual dressing that really makes it for me. I am sure many women understand this as well. The effect of a sexy pair of totally inappropriate heels, those ever so sheer stockings and that slightly too showy dress that make the look! Perhaps there may be hope for us to be understood apart from the Transsexual world. But whilst the TS is thinking about reassignment surgery and hormones I am thinking short skirts and an eBay bargain!
Many of you who read my blog will know of my love of the transformation from the boy to Tara. This may sound obvious for all TV’s but as I get older I am more and more infatutaed with the change in my persona and mindset that comes with dressing. I love the fact that clothes and make up allow me to act differently but I also feel very different.split-personality-600x428
Yes there is definitely a sexiness about the whole thing that I adore but over time this has moved from the more external ‘being turned on’ to an internal rush that creates an intense form of euphoria when the girl emerges. From there its a bit like a drug where you feel more confident more exppressive and more playful than when in those bloody jeans and T-Shirt! But I believe that this clearly defines a Transvestite. A Transsexual is interested in being able to show her true gender, dressing is incidental,  a crossdresser is primarily interested in the clothes they wear that gives them that sexual kick. A Transvestite is interested in the person that a complete transformation creates. We are a bit schizophrenic in our nature but we chose when we want to adopt our alter-ego(s) and control the situation. I personally just love this completely separate person emerging.
This change or ‘flip’ means that at as many levels as possible I try to separate the two completely. I have different social media accounts, different emails, separate mobile phones, websites and business cards. In the past this may have been a necessity because I was not telling my partner (by the way that is wrong wrong wrong), but nowadays even though I am living with a person who accepts Tara it I still want to keep them very very separate. Its so much more fun keeping a gulf between them because of how I feel when I am in either ‘mode’.  I like both sides and would hate that they came together, although my TV firends say that at times in male mode I can tend to exhibit more femme gestures than I did a couple of years ago! To me the major part of this change is in the physical act of dressing itself.
The other night I had the chance to be able to get ready for far longer than the normal hour I am normally given, without interruption! I suddenly realised that having plenty of time to change was as exciting as the actual change occurring. To really be able to get that make-up right to try lots of outfits and pose in front of the mirror was a wonderful part of the girl arriving. When you are in a rush you just do not have the mirror time to indulge in the pure activity of transformation and at times I just feel like a cock in a frock. However with the time I could actually feel it overcoming me as I put on my make-up and clothes. The Americans call it a ‘Mind Fuck’ and that is a perfect though vulgar definition. A friend also said that it was when the wig went on that the change occurred in her. And she was right, of all the things you do putting on the wig makes things complete and brings it all together This defines you.face-shapes
If you think that you want to at least put in quite a passable effort you must put a bit of time and effort into finding your right wig and, if you have the guts, getting someone to style it for you. We have a local Trans group who frowns when I and a few friends go out dressed in wigs and oh dear! short skirts. They look at us and wonder where we have the brass wahoos to dress in such a brazen manner. Its just not becoming for people of our age. They prefer to let their hair grow long and wear longer crinoline dresses implying they are more acceptable to the general population. They are probably right. But as the male gets older the hair thins and so many of these girls have male pattern baldness and thin straggly hair. Its just not the image I want to convey and its certainly not what gets me going! For me its about making the make the best of your appearance and for so many of us the need for the appreciation of what we have become is a vital part of the activity of being a Tranny. I mean how many of you have to at least do 2 or 3 parades of the bar/nightclub/event to see who is there and more importantly show off and get some admiring glances? But without  the all encompassing wig not a chance! To some Transvestites the concept that thye might be able to pass as a girl is their ultimate goal. For me I long ago accepted that I would not pass and instead focused on creating Tara a transvestite that would get approving comments purely due to people recognising the effort and style that is you. Ah yes we are back to the me, Me, ME, MEEE of being a Tranny as I alluded in previous posts.
I dress in a style that I adore that allows the transformation to Tara to be complete in my mindset and the wig is an essential, no, the vital part of this change. But you must look at yourself very hard. Think what style/look you want to convey.You must decide what shape of face you have then look at the type of wig that suits this face shape. Finally decide which one is right for the occasion. If like me you love long hair as it hides so many of the male traits its fine, but go out for a meal or dancing and this gets in the way so you have to look for a shorter alternative that still shows you off as you would like to be seen. Yes I know you can change your wig as many times as you want but in reality you will have a favourite that you know you look your best in.wig type
My partner Susie at Chateau Femme wrote a good Blog on the Subject of How To Find The Best Wig, but I am sure there are lots of other sites such as UK Hairdressers and Hairstylers as well as a good value wig store Mistresses who can help. There are also lots of sites on the web where you type in ‘what hairstyle suits my face’ but its crucial you define your shape correctly. Then you can move onto length, colour, synthetic, real hair and cut. This will improve both your look and your confidence as you get those comments we all crave. But also remember the Trabsvestite motto it is your distinctive and selfish style that works (I made that one up!). My style is the one I like to see in the mirror not necessarily the style others would like to see me dress in. Yes I am a selfish bitch that can embarrass others with too short a skirt too low a cleavage and too much shoulder showing for a person of my size and especially age. But this is the self indulgent part of me that is quasi-addicted to this wonderful pastime. And for me it exactly that something I indulge in from time to time not 24/7 or even 3 days a week. Too much bloody effort!
One of my biggest worries about many of the Trannies I meet is that the drive to dress is such a dominant factor in their lives that it becomes an all too consuming passion. It almost like a drug. We start down a fun narrow path and then suddenly we realise we are hooked. We start to think, when are we next going out, when can we next go shopping, what about that dress on eBay, what will I wear, what about that You Tube video on make-up, what is happening on social media, who am I going to meet etc. tumblr_lfjcc6SuDQ1qaycf7o1_500
As I have always said I am sure our mindset changes when we dress. A new personality emerges and we love that person and so look forward to being the girl as soon as time allows, and we have to dress for our own sanity. It can become such a driving, motivating force in our lives that it can consume all objectivity. We start to look at women not as people we are attracted to but as clothes horses. How are they wearing their dresses how are they carrying themselves how do they talk to people. We enjoy enrolling in the new personality of ‘the girl’ which gives us great escapism. We enjoy the ‘naughtiness’ the ‘sexiness’ and the ‘change’. This approach can bugger up any chances of having a meaningful relationship with a woman..if you want one like I do!
Our wardrobes become full of looks we would love to try but, because we don’t get out enough we tend to revert to our ‘standard” or default mode when we do. For example I have several pairs of very tight trousers and love the ‘jegging’ look but so rarely try it out because my best feature is my legs but they look sooo good in a short skirt or dress and I do love the sensation of stockings or tights. Result too many unused clothes dominating my life. Too much clutter in your life. Too much money spent on the pursuit of the unachievable.
The question is when does a fun pastime becoming an obsessional and all pervasive lifestyle? My answer is that when the ‘girl’ starts to rule your decisions on your life then its time to take a hard look at what this means to you. If your nights out, your nights in, your holidays, your time on social media and your shopping are all dominated by ‘the girl’ then s doing you have to take a major step back from it and get some balance. Life is all about positive choices and behaviour not just giving into the slightest whim  You have to make a pact with yourself, and, if you are lucky enough to have one your partner, what part of the TV element is with you.
I and my partner agreed that in order to stop this becoming too pervasive in our life we have to have some parameters. In our case this not because Tara was becoming obsessional for me but purely because we were trying to do too much in all aspects of our lives and were so tired and exhausted that our time together was suffering. Others will suffer the same for different reasons.
So we set some basic boundaries I would dress once a week either with her or on my own and I would go out once a month again with her or on my own. The rest would be much more flexible but we agreed that it would be planned together not just Tara getting her own way…watch this space to see how we cope.
There is also an issue of trust here particularly if you are going out on your own. That is the basis of any relationship and something I broke in the past and from that point there was little hope of reconciliation. If you have shared with your partner that your femme side exists then you have to stop being too bloody selfish. Just because its out does not mean you are now given Carte Blanche to let the girl run amok with whoever whatever and whenever she wants. This is particularly important when embracing your femme personality. Too many times do I see men who by putting on the ‘girl’ suddenly can create a new identity that they can hide behind. Suddenly because it’s not really them they can be much more experimental, they can try fantasies they would never indulge as the boy. They think that by putting a wig on they are a different person and when they take it off they can be excused as they are no longer ‘the girl’. It is amazing how we can put things into exclusive boxes. Wrong, if you think like this you are deluding yourself.
tumblr_ljupucNFkB1qafi01o1_500This is clearly your decision. Mine is simple If I go out and do something that I would never do in my male life then I am breaking a bond between myself and my partner. In the past I thought I could do this as I said it was not me just ‘the girl’ having fun and I would be back in the morning…doh!
The question though is how far can this be pushed as Tara is a much more interesting and fun loving person than the male (yawn). She feels sexier she feels more alive more willing to take on new challenges and has a much more devil may care attitude. She loves the fact that the dynamics of the environment she is ‘operating; have changed. No longer as the male is she expected to decide what to do, how to get there and have to make the first approaches in conversation. She loves to be noticed for what she is wearing and now gives compliments freely to others, particularly to women because she knows how long it took them to get ready. Her conversation is broader and can cover subjects the man could not possibly cover in his rather limited highly constrained testosterone world. Because she is neither man nor woman she can set her own agenda. Through this she can find a different type of satisfaction than that as just the ‘man’ .
Its that old Ying and Yang concept . The old ‘to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’ or ‘we need the opposite to be a complete the self’. In my case I see its Karma or balance. Too long straight-jacketed into the macho male side when there is a feminine part that needs to get out. The one thing however is that it does not create that bollocks of calm inner peace. Nope its a constant fight between what society in general expects us to be and the raving libidinist within. If you think I am going to spend all that time getting ready to sit like a shrinking violet in the corner forget it! There is a different animal emerging there!
One aspect of this however is nothing compares to the adrenalin rush of your first time out. Your senses on red alert everything being micro analysed and its a very big rush. If it was just about dressing then we would be happy to stay at home. Its like athletes who become hooked to the adrenalin hit they get from extreme exercise. Even to this day the rush you get from walking down the street in high heels knowing you are being clocked all the way is a weird hair shirt to wear. We were out with a good TV friend the other night and she told us how she adored her first time out and just adored being noticed so much so she started to be become more and more experimental in where she went eventually going into the roughest of working mens clubs to get a drink just for effect! Ironically it was in these establishments she got more respect and less abuse than in many of the Gay and Trans venues she normally frequented. She put it down the fact that she did not affront the men in those clubs as much as she queered the pitch for what the gay and TS people did.890aee849fccf989692716e407130083
My partner Susie who runs her Chateau Femme dressing service finds so many frustrated girls arriving for an appointment in their fifties to dress in front of someone for the first time. There are a number of reasons why they come to it so late. Life circumstances have changed, the acceptance it is a part of them, the drop in testosterone levels now saying they wnat to open up their female side all contrubute to this decision to come to a dressing service. I would say in 90% ofcases they do find real contentment by embracing their femme side but also regret they did not do it earlier. Then of course many want to go out and the whole dynamics of their life changes and the ‘drug’ sets in and like a drug can lead to further experimenting as you look for a new high. Suddenly things become all pervasive and they have found a new meaning. In quite a large number of cases this leads to Transsexualism and they realise they are a girl trapped in a man’s body. For many its a rite of passage to try new experiences. But can some people become addicted this? I maintain the answer is yes, particularly if they have addictive personalities. But to the vast malority of us it is about achieving a balance and minor experiments do not lead to a long term addiction just make sure you get the balance in your whole life not just the girl.
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