Archive for February, 2015

In recent weeks there are so many new stories surfacing on Crossdressing and Transvestism. Note I have always seen myself as a Transvestite not a Transsexual. In terms of society’s acceptance we are so far back in terms of being understood along with Scientologists and rubber dolls! I get a kick out of dressing but do not feel that I am a real woman, more a fun imitation. A great article written by a Japanese reporter in 2012 entitled 16 Things I Learned From Dressing In Drag was a start then moved onto Japan slowly begins to openly discuss crossdressing men in heterosexual relationships.Always A Start
In this one they mention a photographer who takes pictures of crossdressers. She says that there are three times in a man’s life when he might awaken to the fact that he enjoys women’s clothing. First is puberty, the next is in his 30s/40s, and finally in his 60s after retirement. Each of these tends to be a major turning point in their lives. I haven’t reached my 60’s yet but can definitely identify with earlier times. I  had pangs from 9-14 years old and rediscovered them in my early 30’s. Susie my partner who runs Chateau Femme dressing service says that inquisitive men in their 30’s and retired men in their 60’s are a dominant part of new girls who come to visit. These more mature men have in some cases harboured this desire for a long time. But others have done it on a whim and found themselves a fantastic new hobby, or in a few cases a complete lifestyle.Always A Start

I also loved the article from Rocket News about a ‘Girls’ Club in Tokyo where anyone can dress anyway they like. The bulk of the customers there were not interested in being fun and sexy,  just ‘ We do not want to be girls just cute‘. I thought so true. It really is all about the look for me. Then its about the mannerisms and finally the whole way you act. Susie had just had the stock for her new set of wigs delivered the other day and she asked me to try some on. Without make up on I looked dreadful and this combined with the article struck such a chord.
IMG_0041The whole idea is that we do put a lot of effort in trying to turn the male sow’s ear into a femme silk purse. We tend to like what we see, its better than the male self. OK it may not be that feminine in the truest sense of the word except for a gifted few. But boy do we feel a million dollars. Its not Ted or Bill or Frank looking back at us but a changed person with a femme name and we love it. I have always alluded to the change of mindset that I go through in transforming from male to T. I love the journey and the destination, it leaves me in a really new and perfect place. As I have now had a couple of years of being able to indulge as and when I want I realise it is now a part of me. Its not a drug that is addictive, its now a psychological part of my make up that is a great calming influence on my life.
Parts of it are now creeping into my everyday life such as mannerisms, oh God a limp wrist again, stop walking that way boy, stop slouching and sit up more! Its just fun and I am constantly fighting the brainwashing that I have gone through in conforming to society’s social mores. Its a bit like coming round to say God does not exist when you have had so much religious doctrine imposed on you from such an early age. You feel guilty for something you should not.
I have read that many T-girls in their early days got sexually turned on by dressing, but as time has passed this has waned. I would argue against this for many of us, not all. The whole process of dressing and getting out is a wonderful buzz and just because you have not got a stonker does not mean you still don’t get excited! Oh help us if life has to be bland and nobody can stand out a bit. That also means you cannot belittle Trekky Conventions, Stamp Collectors and Birdwatchers. Each of us have our own bent! The article Why Do I Crossdress shows there are so many shades to this spectrum. (I am no 18!)IMG_1171
This also has bearings on our sexuality or more importantly our psyche. I do get excited by dressing it does give me a buzz and makes me a little more playful or extrovert. But I think the bulk of it is in the mind and for me that is where it stays nowadays. In my younger days the amount of times I found myself chatting to another ‘girl’ in a rather flagrant way were numerous. But only too quickly I would realise this was a fantasy, not a reality, and a girl without her wig and make-up was just a man. It was the look that appealed to me and probably a little bit of the chase, not the kill!
Now I know others disagree with my standpoint as I discussed in an article last year on flirting vs sex some girls are genuinely gay or bi and do find going the whole way part of their way of expressing themselves, the problem with us flirters is that we are sending out the wrong message to people who are genuinely interested in taking things further. Susie has made me realise this and to understand what I thought was harmless fun in reality is playing with peoples feelings too much. I have put a serious stop to it…well most of the time!
As a follow on from my last blog regarding how I can very easily annoy my girlfriend, by being very selfish in regard to my dressing and actions when we are out, I thought of  how many of us T Girls can fall into a similar trap. These traits principally concern us being selfish and self-centred and can seriously make us annoying to many of our friends. I hope by alerting you to some that I have seen over the years may help you to recognise a trait within you. We all have a little bit of some of these but it is when it is taken to excess that it will infuriate your friends and may result in them not wanting to go out with you, and God knows there are few enough opportunities to get out as it is! Its not meant to be bitchy, but some might read it as such, its just a memorandum to self to think of others when out and not run the roost according to your peccadilloes.
I think I have spotted 4 symptoms that can annoy others of which many of us are guilty to a greater or lesser extent:
The Me Talker – this is the girl who gets little or no time to be her femme self because of personal circumstances. She has some friends that know she is a tranny but tends to dress a lot in private and has few chances to get out. When she does hit the boards she has saved up so many things to talk about she tends to monopolise the conversation and talks incessantly about herself. She is like Opra Winfrey. Conversations are turned to her agenda and she always wants to tell others what the effect of something was on her, even if the conversation was nothing to do with her. This can be particularly annoying when one of the other girls has a valid emotional point she wants to raise only to find the conversation taken over by the ‘me’ girl. She has to get out more and learn to listen to others and shut up! There will be plenty of opportunities.
The Shock Talker – this girl is out to make a statement and get noticed. She wants to be the centre of attention and is searching for an impact in every comment, a bit of a Jose Mourihno. You know that they are always looking for something that will be an over the top statement and after a while tend to become numb to it so they look for more shock tactics. Not sure if it’s because in her male role she has a fairly unexciting life or that through dressing she can release the exciting adrenalin junky that is constantly held within. She will engage in conversations with other groups and be the one hogging the dance floor with a look at me way about her. Originally she is seen by friends as a funny exciting person and of course she lives on that. But after a while she can become a liability to some drawing too much attention to the group and in particular creating situations by not reading the events that are going on around them. Her antics can become tiresome and annoying if all she wants to do is make over-the-top statements. This is occurs particularly when some girls want to have an honest and in-depth non judgemental chat about things. She has to just relax and appreciate that the group is a little more placid than her. Her time will come.
The Organised Talker – the girl who is constantly trying to set the agenda for the group. She is a control freak, a bit of a Victoria Beckham. Deciding dates, times and places she never really settles to enjoy the moment. She is always looking to the next thing they are going to do and as a result does not allow the group to relax. Yes they all like the fact that someone is taking the decisions just hating the fact that all discussions are about what they are going to do next not what is happening now. A bit of a perfectionist she is never quite happy as they could have done things better and as such there is always more to be done. Girls feel a little controlled and unsettled in her company. She just has to learn to live in the moment a little more. There is always another event to organise in due course.
The Sexy Talker – this is the horny one. This is the Kim Kardashian girl. Dressing makes them feel incredibly sexy and they get so turned on by the occasion that their focus is primarily on the sexual liasons of the night. Their conversation revolves around ‘opportunities’ and having fun. She can be very tactile and slightly predatory. She drops many unsubtle hints throughout the night, which can be tiresome. She can be highly excitable and not read any romantic elements that have been happening throughout the evening. She thinks that most girls have the same urge within them and that they would fancy some fun with her. But it’s not so she has to back off and wait for situations to arise not spend her time trying to create them. There are opportunities at every turn they will come to you!
OK this may seem a little harsh but we all may have some elements of these within us to a greater or lesser extent. I know I have and it’s just a case of recognising this is happening before people stop asking you out to events you love to participate in. I am sure many can think of other stereotypes . Anyone got any others they dislike such as the pain in the bum blogger who is finding things that really don’t exist!! XXX
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