Archive for September, 2014

The other day the girlfriend and I were having one of those regular meaningful discussions we have about how we approach the whole Tara issue. I am a very lucky person that I have an understanding (or reasonably understanding) partner with whom I can discuss this part of my life. This time it revolved around what I get out of being Tara when I am dressed and how it affects our relationship.

As many of you who will have read this blog know I do like to keep the boy and the girl very separate…even down to sex and sexuality! I have always said that there is a boy mindset and a Tara mindset. I enjoy flipping between both but it does not happen immediately, in my case it takes around 36-48 hours and during that period there are certain rituals that I indulge to make the transformation very very pleasurable. That will be the subject for another blog I think!heelsnlegs
Once I am dressed I make no bones I feel turned-on. Many trannies say that they have stopped feeling sexy when dressed and now just see dressing as a normal part of their Transvestite activities. Many look down on me as a mature tranny wearing short skirts high heels and plenty of make-up that only a girl of 25 or less would consider wearing. Sorry darlings just deal with it and stop trying to dictate your lifestyle on us errant sluts. We love it! Sexual dimorphism rules (one for the dictionary I think!).
The problem is when dressed and a little turned-on how does a girl express this. I see there are three distinct results. First you can just sit down and have a nice chat with others whilst at the same time stroking those shaven stocking clad legs and admiring yourself in the nearest mirror. I pointed this out to my girlfriend who runs a dressing service called Chateau Femme. She said when a girl is dressed they either start to stroke themselves, dance or sing. She adores this transformation.
The second option is you can take a wander round the bar, restaurant or club strutting your stuff and engaging in flirty conversation with your admirers occasionally alluding to things that they might wish for but never get. There is a fine line between flirting and a full suggestive come-on that can be completely misconstrued. Techniques for this can be found on the TVChix forum pages.
Finally you can go to the bar and wait for an admirer (of any sex) to come up and chat you up then go off and play with them as you see fit. OK there are other options such as going on stage to do a provocative dance or whoring yourself out, but I do see them as simply version of these three types.
Now for me its fine to have a regular night in and chat over the dinner table with friends having great conversation, but somehow at the end of the night it leaves me a little flat when I am dressed, or particularly when I am trowelling all that slap off in front of the bathroom mirror. No intimate dalliances, no sexual nuances no erotic suggestions! A girl has put a lot of effort into looking this cheap and she needs some form of affirmation that what she has done, and is feeling about herself, is valid. Many of us have dressed as our ideal fantasy other half and we get turned on by the look. But remember its a fantasy…not reality! So of course one of the best ways of gaining that stamp of approval is by engaging in a little flirting, which is of course what I do.
IMG_0838Other girls become very turned-on by dressing. It alters their sexuality and sexual mindset. Whilst they would never dream of having some form of sexual contact  with a man, as a man, they become more open to suggestion when dressed. Some like a bit of a fun chase but others enjoy the occasional kill. Its again that whole ratification of their new persona and appeals to their own deep need for sexual experience. It is testimony that they are attractive to others having put a heavy shift in at the make-up counter! Many T-Girls are attracted to T-Girls purely because they look so damn good…the kill can be less so endearing!
Me I have been down many dead ends in trying to understand what Tara is about, its still ongoing, but above all she is a flirt and loves to tease a bit. This of course rankles with missus. She,quite rightly, says ‘what if I and my girlfriends got dressed up as slappers and went out on the pull how would you feel?’ I of course answered by saying the wrong thing and said ‘great!’ What is sauce for the gander is sauce for the gander. But what I should have said is I don’t try to pull. There is a hell of a distinction to being flattered and chatting up someone purely because you like whole frisson of a quick conversation that you dwell on for less than a couple of minutes. It is completely different to spend a long time in deep sexually driven conversation leading to heavy frustration by the fact that he/she thought they were ‘in’ and the fact you were just doing it for a bit of fun! Girls you know what it is like from their side don’t go so far that you know you will piss them off at the end of the night.
Anyway few people except possibly cuckolds like seeing their partner strutting their stuff around a bar whilst they have to wait for them to finish doing ‘the circuit’, Its not fair! Suffice to say Tara’s nights out dressed with the girlfriend will be more restricted and she will probably be left to her own devices. Such is it when you love a genuine, good, honest, decent, caring and adorable woman who allows you to be you, even if it will be a little less of the time!!!
Thanks by the way to the American who came up to the bar at the Way Out club the other night and bought 3 trannies a drink at a cots of £32 because he thought we were gorgeous and then left…perfect or what! Now that’s the ideal flirt!
I do not care what many say, the arrival of autumn is an absolute godsend for many Trannies, or it was in the past! Summer represented a terrible time with kids around the place, not a moments privacy, unable to shave legs, hot sweaty temperatures creating runny make-up, long days when you did not want to go out, short nights being unable to get out and the interminable effect of wearing a wig in the sun, meant there were so many barriers to letting the girl within come out. Before this year I hated the long lay-off before Tara could re – emerge from the confines of the summer recess. In fact I am sure I had regular withdrawal symptoms where I became tetchy and moody. With the arrival of longer nights and cooler climes I could finally put on stockings, black dresses, a wig and undergarments without sweating like an 8 furlong racehorse on Epsom Downsrosie-true-flirty-summer-dress.This summer I have got out more than ever before and had the guts to show my well-developed (male) shoulders in a more skimpy frock than I had ever imagined I would have done, even though I still make every effort to hide the male attributes as best as possible, always seeking perfection, never satisfied!. Result not a blind bit of notice! Nobody really cared except me! A couple of wayward double takes but then full acceptance. Why had I waited so long to wear that short revealing skirt. Why had I as always in the past let ‘the fear’  get in the way. Bugger I was pissed off! How much time had I lost as I am now a wrinkly old fart!

Susie and her dressing pals had had far more fun with bigger chests, bigger legs, bigger forearms and bigger shoulders than me out and about. Me for the bulk of time I stayed in and gambled with going out only to realise it was no big deal. When I went out I encountered only positive remarks, only positive encouragement and only positive advances. Damn why did I wait so long. Why had I gone for so many years avoiding the chance to get out and about in that very short far too revealing dress that I  had always avoided on the basis that it caused too much attention. BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER! Ah well as maturity has arrived I just put it down to a lot more experience and far too little guts! And a group of us are about to extend it with a trip to Masapalomas in Gran Canaria (why do the call it the Big Dog?) so watch this space for an interesting itinerary!
I always looked forward to autumn with the arrival of black and the enhancement of curves, to darker stockings and black heels. Now I am looking quizzically at a summer wardrobe of colour that maybe replaced by the dowdiness of autumn and winter shades.
IMG_0840I have enjoyed fake tanning my legs with  Mac body paint and exposing them bare in public for the first time. I have worn open toed sandals, a bugger to walk in if they have killer heels. I enjoyed having the confidence to wear less make up, not as glam but less sweaty! I also stopped wearing a corset as much as a ‘body’ suffices and its so much more comfortable. It has been fun. But oh the return of stockings, severe curves from a corset, bodycon dresses, slinky undergarments and close toed shoes or even better boots…ah now that’s going to be fun, God I love the return of autumn just as much!
There it is said! Summer was fun but the feast of the next few months fills me with more joy. Somehow it allows me to be more expressive, actually that is a fib, it allows me to play with the tranny side more expressively.   It’s a great buzz.

On a second issue I had a bit of an epiphany this week. I often write in my blogs about how I love the whole change of mindset that overcomes me in becoming Tara. The whole issue of how I can feel myself changing in my physical actions, my mental approach, my physical form and how excited it makes me feel. But this takes a bit of time, for me, to adjust from the male ‘do it, solve it’ mentality to transvestite with a softer, ‘take your time’, relaxed approach. At least a couple of days!
So it was a little disheartening when  a GG I have known for many years (and with whom I have had good discussions) who has known many Trannies, once again suggested we just put a dress on and go out…’you’ll have such a great time’. I thought she had understood what I had said about how it takes time and planning for ‘the change’. That putting on a dress and some make-up does not make Tara, it makes ‘him’ in a dress and I don’t get the same rush as I get out of the whole build-up to the event. I so enjoy the chase as much as the kill, maybe even more so!Trans Flag
But then I realised how could she understand something she cannot feel. That only a tranny who identifies with this change can comprehend the metamorphosis that overcomes us as we transform from male to transvestite (note I rarely use the word ‘female’ because I do not see myself as female more a member of the third sex). One can have some empathy in what they see in terms of look and actions but to comprehend what is going on inside our minds can only come with experiencing this whole change from caterpillar to butterfly. The gestation period cocoon time is much longer than they can understand. In the past with me it took the fun of several days now I can just about get the buzz in 36 hours!
One thing my partner Susie says is that during her dressings with Trannies she notices, almost universally,  how there are major changes taking place: she sees girls constantly stroking their nylon clad legs; their love to dance; the huge sigh as their alter-ego is revealed in the mirror; a complete softening of their mannerisms and a real sense of calmness. What she nor anybody else, who has not experienced it, cannot see is the alteration in the mindset that this is causing and why we suddenly develop little idiosyncrasies that some rarely comprehend. This is at the root of why the Transvestite (as very, very distinct from the Transsexual) community cannot hope to be accepted by society because they cannot explain it. So when I now realise why people do not understand what is happening I have to realise that it would take an entire book to explain what is going on inside my head and therefore how the hell are they expected to comprehend me. Now when I am asked at short notice to get dressed and go out I am far more tolerant I just say…’not tonight my headache has not yet arrived’. XXX
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