Category: Going Out Dressed


Pushing Boundaries

Filed under: Accepting Transvestism, Going Out Dressed, Sexuality — 1 Comment
January 16, 2020
A Tranny is never satisfied. They constantly want to challenge themselves and others. They get a real kick out of overt expression and the challenges it brings.

It is great to watch the TVs that come and go at my girlfriends dressing service Chateau Femme. The newbies are grateful just to be out, the regulars always want something new, a constant challenge. In both cases they want something different to their normal (drab?) daily life. An escape to express another side of their personality. A little bit shorter, a little tighter, showing more skin, maybe PVC or leather, going out, some interplay…the list goes on and on  They get a thrill from being taken out of their comfort zone and gain delight from nbeing different.

Young beautiful business woman with speech bubble thinking about something. Girl with glasses the European type on background of pop art style

This also applies to going out as well. I have been on jaunts with various groups on a regular basis over the years but to be honest got rather tired of the same old chat round a table in a restaurant then onto a club where the music was so deafening and I could not make good conversation, and I had to accompany the smokers outside (me being a non-smoker). I just got bored of it and myself wanted something different. This is after all a hobby that I like to push forward and develop.Not stand still, which in the heels I wear is not easy I can assure you!
It was nothing new or special, just the same old thing. I needed a challenge somewhere new to discover and show off. ABBA nights, Rocky Horror shows, Torture Garden and Drag nights. These are an extension of the ‘fun’ aspect of Tara, a further walk on the wild side, never wanting to standstill and say yep that’s it. I found myself exploring new dressing avenues such as drag, goth and rubber/PVC. I was trying new venues, new events and new situation. Just pushing the boundaries a bit at a time. I was/am the classic TV that needs to express themselves and dreads the thought that I just have to settle for the way things are. And of course it feeds the biggest sex organ of all. The mind.
How many Trannies reading this blog have worn a dress maybe 2 times then said been there done it need a new one, its a new event its a different situation I need to express myself in a different outfit, if you have the money. How many of us have T wardrobes larger than our male ones. But then again there are so many more options and don’t even talk about shoes. I said don’t talk about shoes!
I mentioned in previous blogs that I see TS’s as trying to fit in and tending to downplay their dress. TVs on the other hand like, sorry love, to show off. Sometimes within the confines of a club but also at other times in public. They seem to get a thrill out of challenging people’s perceptions, making them feel slightly awkward. They get some obtuse pleasure out of making people feel uncomfortable because they are doing something that is outside the accepted norm but it feed their ‘show off’ mentality.
I think this all stems from the original premise that so many TVs got such a buzz in the early days of doing something that was a bit naughty and that in order to continue this buzz they have to constantly have a new fix to regain that feeling. Something that continues to be a bit mischevious. This is fine as long as it doesn’t move from being odd ball to offensive. Some however do overstep the mark. This is particularly relevant in today’s society which is much more open and accepting of different lifestyles than in my early days. Yesterdays naughty is today’s norm so the Tranny has to be even more showy in order to stand out and that is maybe where it gets out of hand. Worse it dismisses other peoples sensibilities. Like the comedian who makes you feel a little awkward but then goes on to be downright rude. There are limits girls!
It starts in the early years with the basic dressing just the fact that a Tranny puts on some form of female apparel stirs feelings within, yes I know they can be classed as sexual, but I think that may be a bit misguided I think its just more sexy. It feeds a need to be interesting and exciting. From there comes makeup, shaving body hair and prosthetics. Then the urge to get out and show the world comes along. Some can do this others have a family life where the problems of being discovered would cause immeasurable damage so they stay at home..frustrated.
So the dressing service provides a very good intermediate stage. Here they can find a style that suits them and start to learn about themselves and meet others in private where they can talk to empathetic people who relate to their lifestyle. All the time the inner buzz is being sated by the demon dressing and all the time there is a desire to push it just that bit more.
What about going out on your own? What about a sexual encounter? What about a Mistress experience? Could I dress up as a maid? Should I put a video online? Maybe Adultwork? So many options just to push things just that little bit more. Some find their perfect place others continue to expand their options. I have not yet forund the end and am glad I haven’t the challenge is part of the fun.
Think of something new darling!How is this going to end? Well firstly you will try many that are dead ends, been there done it got the (tight fitting t-shirt), but not for me. Others are a rabbit hole you know you shouldn’t go down but you have to feel how far you can take it. Some of us have the sense of purpose to realise things have gone far enough others do not until they end up in a place they should never have been, but what a ride. At this point you take stock have some time off to reappraise what it has all been about. Then on you go to the next challenge. Whoopee! So it doesn’t end, however it coomes and goes in waves and sometimes you take a step back to appraise things
I have had something like that over the last few months ago. I realised because I had so much free time (semi-retired) I was trying an oddball augmented reality that was not really me. I saw that the Tranny thing was becoming far too absorbing, principally because I was a classic male who had to be occupied by something. I was buying endless amounts of shoes and clothes, spending too much time on-line looking at videos on better make up, posture and clothes. Sitting on Twitter, Facebook and the like as if it was reality. If we were gong to have a night out I needed a new outfit (despite already having so many clothes). I would plan the night 7 days in advance. I could do little on impulse as I needed the buzz of the build up in planning the outing. It was becoming time consuming and it needed a reality check.
I also saw it in others who were almost restraining themselves from turning fantasies into reality. They would talk incessantly about the next steps. A meeting with another Tranny, a strap-on, maid service, pvc and leather, bondage etc. etc. etc. They were also online all the time and it was becoming all pervasive in their lives. Its a hobby, but like the golfer who plays 5 days a week, talks golf, watches it on TV and is a constant at the Golf Club bar taking golf again it needs reining back! It was becoming more than a fun pastime for me, more an obsession.
Then one day after a serious discussion with her ladyship I took a step back and said STOP! Probably a bit like an alcoholic realising that this is having an adverse effect on their life and partner. I stepped back from public life except from an occasional outing and confined dressings to home. Slowly over the last 18 months I have got out bit by bit, but it is no longer a person who wants to push limits. It is now a Tara who has come to terms with herself. The wardrobe has reduced (size 14/16 and size 8 shoes abound at Chateau Femme for anyone visiting), I limit my visits on social media and find other interests. Anyone for…
Tara has not gone away. She still dresses in tight fitting clothes and skirts that are probably a bit too short and high heels but it is a more measured approach and the strong desire to push boundaries seems to have abated, for the moment. I no longer worry if I miss out on going out as the group Susies Angels will attest. I notice that more recently things are more balanced despite the mayhem of new girls arriving at the dressing service to push boundaries continues apace! Only time will tell where the next experience will come from so watch this space.
Tara XXX
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Christmas Is Not The Time To Expose Yourself

Filed under: Accepting Transvestism, Clothing, Going Out Dressed, Passing AS A Girl, Transvestite — 4 Comments
December 11, 2017
Most of us love to get out, particularly in the fun Christmas season. However if like me you feel you would like to look as feminine as possible there are some simple things that I think you should be aware of about how you ‘show’ yourself to the world. These are my top 10 tips that I think will make you a better Tranny and less of a male crossdresser.
  1. Posture – more than anything else I see with Trannies is their round-shouldered posture that makes them look like a gorilla in a dress. I know it because I do it….occasionally! For God’s sake girl sit up and stand up straight. It’s not only a dead giveaway but also such an ugly pose. Yes you probably stand up straight in front of the mirror but in general men tend to loll our heads forward and put our shoulders back. It looks bad but also makes your hair flop in front of your face and you are permanently sweeping it back. shutterstock_111420299If you are standing up straight your hair will naturally fall backwards. When you think you are genuinely standing straight the way you normally do (not for the mirror) look at yourself front on then turn to the right and look how your posture is. I guarantee if you maintain your stance your shoulders are rounded and slumped forward, your neck is tilted forward so your chin is over the centre of your chest, your bum is sticking out as a counterbalance and your legs are too far apart to help your stance. Bad posture also causes back pain so try a Yoga or a Pilates class to help.
  2. Limpwristing – its classic Tranny and I have to say I suffer from it as well. Put on a dress and suddenly your arms come up into a doggy begging position and you wrists bend and go limp and you start pontificating to the world with your far too feeble hand gestures as if you are trying to waft away some smoke. literal-limp-wrist-1024x576.jpgYes women do have more relaxed shoulders and wrists but many of us overdo it which some find more gay than femme. so straighten up a bit and put you arms around your waist or sides. There is a world of difference between female movements and the more effeminate gestures many of us Trannies interpret as ‘womenlike’.
  3. Walking – men walk using their shoulders women walk with their hips.This is because women have a lower centre of gravity and wider hips which causes the swaying motion we have to exaggerate. The net result is their style of walking is a giveaway. Men tend to take larger strides and walk with their legs farther apart because they have bigger chests and shoulders hence have a higher centre. This results in more side to side movement, which may be why men are more prone to move their arms and shoulders when they walk than women. Add heels into the equation and you find this exaggerates this movement even further. 1432114789-tumblr_mvndx0czxx1s82pzao1_400Add bad posture and you see a hunched gorilla gambolling down the street looking like a member of the Peaky Blinders is very unladylike that is not only ugly but a complete giveaway to your Tranny status. Wikkihow has a great page on how to walk in high heels. There are also plenty of You Tube videos. But most of all get a pair of shoes you can walk in not just pose in front of the mirror for your own self-gratification and practice, practice, practice for more than 5 minutes. If yo go out you are going to be on your feet for a long time.
  4. Sitting – it may be great as a bloke to sit with your legs apart and slouch backwards scratching between your legs but that ain’t going to work in girl mode. You may not care about how you appear in public but for the bulk of us there are certain things that are our rite of passage and learning to sit properly is one of them. xkgety6i56967fe7d816d039458452It shows you off well and allows those around you to feel more comfortable that the one-eyed sea serpent or its two hairy gooseberries won’t suddenly be appearing in the gap between you open legs. This simple link from Wikkihow should again help and by golly there is lots to learn
  5. Shape – now I know women like men can be a little on the large side but their distribution of fat is different to those of men. We tend to have larger chests and smaller hips. The net  result is that with the addition of breasts women have much curvier figures than we do. There is nothing worse than seeing a Tranny with a beer belly protruding from her tight fitting dress and a huge bulge in the middle of her groin.aa23546505cf3b0ab3e6245382cdb2c3
    I appreciate that if you are just a crossdresser this does not matter but if ‘en femme’ is your goal then some shapewear is necessary. Wearing breast forms was an oddity for me because they weren’t ‘natural’, but I loved looking at a female shape in the mirror so they have become the norm as part of my dressing habit. Its part of the uniform serving little practical use but just a great part of letting the girl  shape out. One of my friends listed all of their extras they added on to create the girl. The were wig, eyelashes, brow-lifter,  posture support, breast forms and bra, waist cincher, shaping slip, gaff panties, false nails butt pads shaping tights . What we suffer for our art.
    Now I know this is excessive but I have always maintained creating the girl is an art form and we all have to do it to some degree unless you really do not care what you look like or what people think. Remember the first rule of Trannying is not to offend anyone’s sensibilities.
  6. Hygiene – boys smell more than girls so for Gods sake wash and spray. Sorry its a fact so please check your personal hygiene. Wearing extra layers of clothes lashings of makeup and wigs will make you sweat a little more so check your antiperspirant is on strong. Nobody will tell you that you smell they will just avoid you. But if that’s what you want then bring on the compost heap. Oh and whilst we are here Trannies with beards or stubble is a very, very small niche for the Eurovision Song Contest that very few fancy so as a rule of thumb keep it very smooth and learn to cover it up. Same applies to legs arms and particularly the back.
  7. Make Up – part of being the inner woman is hiding masculinity and a major part of that is cosmetic as our faces have so many differences. Make an effort please to understand the basics. So you either have to get someone to put on the slap for you (I of course recommend a dressing service such as Chateau Femme) where a makeup and go should cost you between £35-£50 or you have to learn to do it yourself. The basics of foundation, eyes and lips are essential and I would recommend the following YouTube videos  1 2 3 as a starter but there are loads more.
    After then its over to you how this progresses, you may even want to go further into Drag but that is your prerogative.  If you don’t want to be the shrinking violet in the corner then an element of ‘passability’ (new Tranny word) is essential. But remember one of the big Tranny giveaways is also wearing too much make up caked on in many layers to try to disguise that dark beard. Get the balance right.
  8. Wigs – I am sorry but this is probably the most essential piece of kit. As I have said in previous posts it is THE thing that completes the look. Invest in one that suits your face the following article gives you some ideas on wigs. Wash and care for them regularly as they can h
    Top-Bad-Pictures-Of-Celebrity-Womens-Wigside any myriad of smalls and ideally get a tame hairdresser to cut and style them to your face.Think about how your face fits particular styles not that you want to look like that size zero model on the catwalk.
    Take a look at this You Tube video and this reference from eBay. as starters and be honest with yourself as to your face shape. There are also plenty of wig shops around who have seen every style and type of person coming through and are only too happy to organise a private consultation with you. Remember we are not all flaxen-haired blonde bimbos and that you will be surprised what other colours and lengths really do suit you
  9. Accessories – OK these are peripheral but they send out important signals, they break up lines and can disguise certain features. Be careful not to go too over the top unless you want to stand out as some kind of Diva Drag Queen. Necklaces can hide long necks and a bit of your adams apple, rings and bracelets break up long arms and hands. Belts are effective disguising your midriff and making hips. Scarves can hide a myriad of flaws as well as being a very decorative addition to that black dress that many of us prefer to wear. I always consider that it’s the accessories that turn the basic dressing into an art form and creates that subtle stand out girl.
  10. Smile – I know its crazy to say this but so many Trannies do not smile. A smile is always a great weapon to disarm others. But smiling makes everyone (well almost) much happier in any situation. Too many of us are focused on what we are trying to do or achieve that we forget the moment and the fun we are having. So we forget to smile at others around us. If you are seen to be a happy person others will be naturally drawn to talking to you. A scowl will scare them off. No smilingchimpface like thunder will ever win the popularity stakes. A smile if you can do it also looks so much better in pictures. And we all love some pictures and some appreciation from others as to how much we have put into the evening.
Finally there I think there are things to forget about because they look stupid if you try to change them. They are the sound of your voice, the size of your hands, your adams apple, your nose (though a bit of contouring might help) you large feet, These are a fact that cannot be helped and trying to disguise them rally works and tends to look odd. Even if you are 6’6” and you want to wear those wonderful 5″ heels go for it you already stand out and these will make little difference. But it will make you look and feel a hell of a lot sexier.
Now get up and go for it girl and have a Merry Christmas xx
PS here is my favourite Christmas song on You Tube

 

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Try Not To Be Too Much Of A Closed Group

Filed under: Accepting Transvestism, Going Out Dressed, Passing AS A Girl, Relationships — 4 Comments
November 29, 2017
This is one of those blogs where I lose a few friends!
How many of my Transvestite friends say that they would love to find a GG (Genuine Girl) that they could go out with who would take some time to understand them because as a T-girl they can offer so much more than the boring old grey man. However in so many cases this just does not happen. Bringing a third personality into a relationship does not work for all and causes interminable discussions between the parties as to limits and expectations.

Party TV1

Be Inclusive

It’s an eternal question we all ask and I have discussed at length in other posts. However it was very interesting for me to experience the ‘Group’ mentality of Trannies a few weeks ago on a Tranny holiday.
On this trip everybody else was dressed but me. For reasons I won’t go into just to say I really was not in the mood to dress at that point in time. As a result I was able to be the observer rather than the participant. It allowed me to view the group from a subtle distance and with some objectivity… girls this may cause a little hurt but it’s for the benefit of all! Am I now a Tranologist?
Of course the first thing that struck me which is normal for anyone meeting a Tranny for the first time was the eternal me, me, me of the T-girl. But that’s normal and I knew that already. We all see it when we go out. One’s focus is almost always on oneself as this is a fleeting moment of escape from your normal ‘vanilla’ existence into the inner femme. Your rare chance for the world to see the other part of you and your need for admiration of what you are really like. And by God you are going to make the most of it in the short time you have!
But that is obvious to everyone. There is nothing new here. Cameras out selfies taken, gotta post immediately on social media , constant mirror checking, excessive behaviour beyond the norm etc etc etc. We all understand this, perhaps not to the newbies who are desperate to tell the world what they feel and find out more about themselves through the medium of a group of understanding friends.
However one of the biggest things I encountered was that even a small group can be quite exclusive, but not elitist. And I mean that in the sense of the us and them not the, wow how good are we, connotation. Despite them all recognising me as being a tranny and accepting that I was in male mode it was clear that I was not one of them. Also I did not feel one of them in my own mindset either. This was genuinely not intentional on my part but it allowed me to observe them from a completely different perspective when I was not in the realm of being a TV. I felt distant either because I was not getting the buzz they got  or because I couldn’t contribute. But it was noticeable that outsiders could view this as being a very exclusive set with a closed agenda and membership. Its not intentional but there is a commonality that binds the group that excludes others.
Party TV 2

Partying Is For All Not A Few

It’s just like a bunch of rugby boys getting together in a bar and talking line breaks and scrummaging. If you have little knowledge of what goes on then you can only contribute in small amounts but when the conversation gets into full swing you feel sidelined. The same applies to ‘girls nights’. They are not deliberately pushing you out just excluding you by default. Even their best efforts to include you really amount to little as they are so focused on enjoying their own femme time. They will return to your boy mode tomorrow. You alternatively are just not in the game.

Now a few groups who are exclusive in this nature are downright rude and ‘the not one of us’ syndrome cuts in. I have particularly experienced this when Trannies and TS’s come into close contact especially when the TS went out first with a TV group.
I have always hated the fact that in our group we have nurtured the TS feelings of some only to be blanked by them as soon as they decide to go the whole TS route. Rejecting friends on the basis that they are not ‘real’! The Transvestite on the other hand tends not to be so aggressive. By their nature they are letting out a softer person, but when dressed they still see it as their time and their discussion. They don’t tell others not to join the group (as many TS’s I have encountered have done to me) but they can do it in subtle ways that naturally exclude others without knowing they are doing it.
Two types in particular are the Trannybore who gives this constant monologue about themselves and how the dress how they feel what the do yawn yawn yawn. Then there is the Tranny Shocker who gets a kick out of mildly vulgar displays of themselves to other Trannies and the general public who are in turn mildly revolted because, if a woman did that in public she would be regarded as somewhat of a slut! Both of these types offend others in one way or another and create barriers to the group for outsiders. Because the group tolerates them they think they are fine, but this is not the case.
This whole episode got me looking back at recent events that I had attended whilst dressed. I suddenly realised that on so many occasions people who were either not dressed or Genuine Girls (GG’s) were initially welcomed to the group for a few minutes only to be excluded within half an hour. A GG who is a regular attendee at our group politely told me the other day that it was probably time to go because the conversation had become dominated by makeup and shoes to the exclusion of any interest in her. It is ironic given that two of the ‘girls’ fancied her but made no real effort to bring her into the fold by actually asking questions about her instead they wanted to tell her about themselves. They expect her to chat them up! Bizarre!
I appreciate that when dressed we are so introspective because we get so little time to be ‘ourselves’ but when TV’s say I can’t find a girlfriend I now say no wonder why. You make no effort to talk to them as you are so self-interested. Because you have nobody else to talk to this all comes out when you should be spending time chatting her up!
The best place to meet a real girlfriend is when you are dressed not through some dating site (unless you state up front you are a TV). The Rubicon and barrier of your  femme of activities will have been exposed immediately and you can move onto the relationship part quicker than if you have to say Hi I am a boy who likes to dress as a girl after a couple of weeks of going out!
If you want a girl who quite likes Trannies why the bloody hell do you suddenly stop chatting them up and instead describe your femme side in intimate detail that is so so dull to listen to. If that is in truth what you really want.
One of our group has realised this. She started to try to date GG’s but soon realised that her Femme alter ego was taking up so much time that having a girlfriend who actually liked the Femme side would be too much effort and might even put a block on her fun. She felt that it would be too much to keep the girlfriend happy with both of her personalities vying for supremacy. She feels she has a rite of passage to go through before she enters the dating market again. At the moment her head is too full of Trannying to think straight about the relationship element and it would take up too much of her girly time. Good for her finally some objectivity, which of course is sadly lacking in the vast majority of the Tranny community!

Party TV 3

You Never Know Who Might Float Your Boat

 I have started to recognise patterns emerging where people (non Tranny) tend to float in and out of the group seeing a ‘chance’ but never really connect. People would join us but when the conversations came to me, me, me, they would switch off and move on to other places. Many Trannies I meet want to have a real girlfriend but when it comes to the hard graft of chatting them up all they bloody well want to do is talk about themselves.    (I have intentionally repeated this to try to drive the message home girls). Woe betide the GG who asks the question how are you and 45 minutes later says oh that’s really interesting before making her excuses to leave or taking strychnine to excuse herself from the conversation. Yep girls to the outsider although initially you can appear interesting and alluring  the reality is that you can be very very boring.
So be careful its fine doing things ‘en groupe’ and get caught up with that mentality but you will by default exclude the outsiders. For your group to be more inclusive you have to change the subject away from hair makeup, heels and hose. Particularly with real girls you have the opportunity to ask them what they think. You suddenly will have a partner you can go shopping with for both (remember both) of you. She has a new girlfriend with whom she can share things but only if you learn to speak girl and not Tranny.
And now I will rejoin my group who will regard me with suspicion from now on XXX
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FEAR The Biggest Block To Expressing Yourself

Filed under: Accepting Transvestism, Going Out Dressed, Passing AS A Girl, Transvestite, Uncategorized — Leave a comment
November 20, 2017

It is wonderful to see the huge explosion in the numbers of Trannies coming out in the last few years. The public ‘general’ acceptance of us has grown and the blossoming of the ‘Femme’ side has been exponential. But for the vast numbers (greatest number) of closet dwellers this is a threshold that is very very hard to pass. I would think that the majority of closet dwellers would like to go out at least once but so many barriers get in their way. This article intends to analyse this situation not find a solution for getting past that block. I am not a psychologist! Psycho yes Psychologist no!

In the closet

Is This The Place To Hide?

Breaking the ‘home’ boundary has one specific trait that most (not all) TV’s want. To be able to get out to show themselves off  and get some form of acknowledgement at least once. For many this is a very strong drive. However there is a serious barrier to this called FEAR.
A fear of being discovered, a fear of what people will think, a fear of ridicule, a fear of doing something that is not really acceptable, a fear you might be gay, a fear of what might happen, a fear you will not pass, a fear of being unable to present yourself in a feminine manner, a fear of how to conduct yourself, a fear of which loo to visit etc etc etc. These fears build many many layers in the mind in such a way as to paralyse your actions and stop you being …well you! Every positive thought is immediately matched by the bigger negative consequence. The easy option is to accept this paralysis of fear and not do anything. And lets get real being a TV (as opposed to a TS) is probably the last big ‘unreal’ its taboo left that today’s so PC society, in general, does not have to accept. That and being a Morris Dancer!
As many know my partner runs a dressing service called Chateau Femme and she sees it on an everyday basis. So many of her clients bottle out at the very last minute. Some will sit outside her house and literally shake with fear and then drive off unable to break the fear. Others don’t even call to cancel normally when a sort of shame overcomes them, leaving them frustrated and her significantly out of pocket. Ironically many then show contrition and book again and cancel again. Its a cycle many find hard to break. The mind plays awful tricks. I have spoken to a lot of girls who say they have spent hours looking through dressing service websites looking for the right one then finally picking up the phone or booking online only to let the fears stop them going any further.
My partner knows how fear can get into the mind, but also knows that when they finally dare to cross that Rubicon the immense sense relaxation and satisfaction they get from releasing the girl inside outweighs all those irrational fears. From there they are then desperate to get out in public, but boy (or should that be girl) is that an even bigger step.
David Burns in his book Feeling Good talks about how fear and guilt combine to create anxiety in the mind that stops you being objective about situations and stops you doing things for your well being.  I myself can remember on my first few dressings I wondered would someone burst into the room take pictures and then blackmail me with them? Was I being secretly filmed for the pictures to be used against me?  When I first went out in public I worried what if someone I know will be there. The fear of dressing at home and what would happen if anyone came home and yet I still did it. The drive was too strong. Most of these fears are irrational but I probably got a kick out of the fact I was doing something naughty and most men do like to take certain risks.
The mind plays tricks with you. It tries to focus on the worst possible scenario. It has a natural flight mode built into it when even the most simple situations arrive in relation to dressing. Something of the old caveman always being scared that a wild animal might attack him has built this ‘run’ mentality into our souls. Nowadays its more a case of how Society might attack him. Well if you want to play safe then stick with the closet and read no further. But if you want more perspective read on.
So lets take a look at this in a more objective light. Rather than looking at what is the worst scenario look at what is the likely outcome. The point is to reduce the risk level to reduce the fear quotient. If you go out in your local pub dressed and you are the only Tranny in the bar then it is more likely  for you to be ‘discovered’ than if you are at the BNO TV party at Pink Punters Disco on the second Friday of every month. You wont stand out and your friends will not be there. If you dress at home you or your clothes are more likely to be discovered by prying eyes searching through the loft or garage. If you spend too much time away from home you will arouse suspicions. The chances of you meeting a friend at a Tranny function are pretty much zero  (only about 1 in 80 Trannys are out) especially as you will both be dressed.

The more you dress in a risqué manner the more attention you will attract. If you think that nobody will recognise you then the chances of that getting back to home are even slimmer. Yes you will be clocked as a Tranny but in my experience the worst that can happen is someone asking ‘are you a guy’ to which I answer ‘no a Tranny and I am hetero’ just to answer two questions in one. I can go on and on about these scenarios but they are pretty obvious. You just let the unrealistic fear get in the way.

Think Of How You Will Display Yourself

As to the concerns about other third parties relax. Reputable dressing services, mistresses, escorts and private events will not publish any information about you because as soon as this becomes known on the internet they are toast. They have a reputation to protect and if someone indicates that they have broken that trust then that will be it for them and that is their livelihood.  Other Trannies will not know your real name so have little or no chance of identifying your male self. In any case most Trannies are in the same zone as you and to be honest are only interested in themselves and the short bit of fun they can have in femme mode. You are just part of the scenery unless you do something inappropriate!
As for women the majority that I have met are very interested in a man who likes to dress, they are totally supportive and are always the first to compliment you. (Other Trannies won’t as they are too into themselves, so don’t ask them if you look good!). However do not misconstrue this interest in you from a woman’s perspective as an interest to go out with you. Women quite like the oddball exotic nature of the Tranny but for the majority of them this is a step too far in what in any case  is always a very complicated relationship with the ‘Third Person’. If Men are from Mars Women From Venus then TV’s come from Alpha Centauri!
So for Gods sake stop worrying about what might happen take a dose of realism. What is more important is to think of the consequences of when you do step out of that dark wardrobe. Particularly on the home front. Hah I reduce one fear and put another one in their place. But this is realistic.

Whist being out is such fun you have to realise that the more you get into Trannying the more the chances of you having a meeting or incident will be. I remember the first time I met a man I knew, when dressed as Tara, after about 20 outings, I nearly crapped myself. But there was no way out and I had to front up. I talked to him but he did not recognise me at all, or at least showed no hint of recognition. The disguise was too good. Since then of course it has not bothered me, well not too much, as you still have to mindful of the drunken oik who wants to show off to

Be Yourself For A Little While

his mates how clever he can be by having a go at the Tranny in the corner minding her own business.

But on the family front this is a completely different matter. The more you do this the more you will start to hide things. More time away from home will arouse suspicion. The more chances of you making a mistake. You will become a little more reticent to opening up as to what you are doing. The more you will tell lies and the more your self-esteem will suffer. As you know you will be breaking the trust of your relationship. You will start to feel a fraud in your own home hiding this quite basic urge. You can suppress it but rarely can you give it up. Its an itch that has to be scratched and the more frequent your visits to the femme side the more it becomes the norm and the more opportunities to be caught out.
I would say that 90% of Trannys have been caught out in one form or another and in particular if its by their partner it does not tend to end well. Core to all of this is the break in trust and then what the neighbours will think. See my previous posts!
So you have this horrible dilemma. Do you go with the desire to let the girl out and become paranoid with all the fears this raises or do you suppress the need and deal with the resultant frustration that arises
I have alluded in past posts to the many reasons why I think we dress but in essence I consider it boils down to two basic factors. Either we are missing something in our lives and this is a coping strategy or we have an inner desire to let the feminine side of our persona out to balance the male macho face. OK I know there are lots of other reasons but these two from my experience are the most dominant.
How many men have I seen who do not have a significant other relationship using Trannying as an outlet. How many have I seen that when in girl mode their personality changes dramatically. This is soooo liberating so000 relaxing and soooo allows us to live for ourselves, so in the moment, so just plain self-centred. But its very selfish, very personal and a relationship destroyer for the majority of us. We can’t explain why we do it so how the hell can others accept it! God what a nightmare of fears and emotions this gives way to!
Now you had better go and find that shrink!! XXX
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Are You A Coper A Sexpot Or A Mirror Queen?

Filed under: Accepting Transvestism, Going Out Dressed, Passing AS A Girl, Sexuality, Transvestite, Uncategorized — 1 Comment
February 1, 2017
In my experiences in Transvestism, and with my partner Susie’s dressing service Chateau Femme I have seen many, many types of Trannies who have such a disparate variety of wants and peccadilloes that I have always maintained  each one is unique.This means that whilst we may have some common traits rarely can one TV totally identify with another’s likes and wants.
This being said I have found that these needs and wants tend to fall into 6 broad categories. OK we can identify ourselves in several categories but I believe one is dominant. By identifying them I hope to show those that continuously question themselves about why they are like they are they are not alone. img_4247

I would however also put the rider that these are not mutually exclusive rather they are the most common things that move us towards Transvestism. Also I consider that priorities change as we move from closet to the club and eventually to the big wide vanilla world and we ‘overcome’ early urges in favour of more solid loves!

  1. The Copers – are people who are going through a particular life changing moment especially in relationships. For them times are stressful and there is a need for some form of escape or just the peace of mind that Transvestism affords them. We gain both focus and relief. This is particularly true for men who are meant to be the ‘rock’ of the house and should not show their feelings and concerns.They however need an outlet for this stress, something to hang onto or a place to go when things get tough that brings an element of security. I particularly see it in middle aged men whose longer-term  relationship has plateaued or is in decline. One thing being a Tranny does is that it allows them to live in the present, a form of mindfulness with a kinky edge. It allows them to switch off into an alter ego. No past concerns or future worries just a place to ‘be’ in the moment. This transformational process gives the mind a rest in one area whilst opening up other possibilities that lie dormant or suppressed due to the stress of day-to-day living  which has taken over their lives. Most of this type do not know where this ‘femme’ side is taking them they do know however the power of its release.
  2. The Sexpots– these are the ones who, when dressed, feel an incredible sexual rush from their new persona. No longer that grey man in the corner now a much more liberated person emerges. It opens up completely new horizons for their sexual exploits that might be taboo in male mode. This leads the man to new twists and turns as they play with their gender and sexuality. Interesting dark places emerge and it releases a sexual libido that is normally hidden in day to day life. When they are in the early flings of a new boy on girl relationship these TV’s will probably let the Tranny side drift but as things progress and they might not be getting the ‘fun’ they would like from the relationship they start to reignite their girly side again. This situation also arises when they are between relationships and not getting the sexual experience they normally enjoy. For others who have quite a strong sex drive this is an outlet from their marital relationship which may have become a little stale . They can venture to the naughty side and effectively have flings in a variety of ways. They almost seem to switch off their whole relationship for the fun of a brief encounter. It opens up their sexual horizons and allows them to indulge in taboos that their boy side says is not on. How many have I talked to who say that in boy mode they would never do anything with another man but in girl mode this opens up completely new and different horizons. Its a fun and playful interlude that completes their sexuality.
  3. The Shockers – there are girls who get a kick from dressing and then exposing
    themselves (dressed of course) to the vanilla world. No longer do LBGT clubs do it for them their target is the not so accepting world. A world where being a Transvestite is still the last taboo to be frowned on. They get a rush from challenging people’s perspectives but also continuously pushing their own boundaries. They adore being noticed and love attention. They are thrill seekers pushing their own fears for excitement and relish the chance to show themselves off. img_4252Their first nigh at a restaurant, their first night at a club, their fist journey on a train, their first trip abroad, a day shopping en femme etc etc etc. Ideally each one has to be a new experience  a new ‘drug’ to feed off . They constantly get a buzz from being out there, a simple night in a restaurant will not suffice. They want that little shorter skirt or that adapted goth look or that PVC/Rubber outfit that causes a stir. They want to challenge themselves and the people around them. After a while when they have pushed as far at they can things settle into a more regular rhythm. I was talking to a TV the other day who said she started going to Gay clubs then to restaurants and so on until one night she challenged herself to go alone into a working men’s club in a really rough part of London in a very short dress. Here she thought she would be shocking to be seen. Unfortunately they were the most accepting of all the places and she decided that this route had come to an end. But where does it stop and how far can you push your own boundaries?
  4. The Mirror Queen – these are people who are so transfixed with their own reflection in the mirror that they start to withdraw into a world of their femme self. They need attention admiration, adulation and acceptance. But most of all they adore themselves. In conversation they talk incessantly about themselves and how they feel to the exclusion of all others. It is always turned onto them. They don’t care if they are hogging the conversation, if it drifts away from them they go to the loo to adjust their look just to check how good are and rejoin to dominate it again!. These girls tend to be very creative in their look, however the search for what they perceive is perfection can be limiting as they can’t find the next fantastic look! Yes they do tend to fall in love with themselves  and are incredibly narcissistic but they are fixated on perfecting their look. Its both a challenge and an art form to them. Theygirlinmirror adjust their hair and makeup at every opportunity.  They are the first to want to change their outfit 10 times in an evening and are always asking if they look good if you haven’t noticed. Styles combinations and perfection are their drivers. They have to get the look right just to please themselves which of course in the end leads to a very lonely insular life, but its what they want.
  5. The Almost TS’s – theses are the borderline girls who find true identity in their whole femininity. Their identity in day-to-day life appears drab and unrecognised by the public at large. Put on a wig and a dress and people compliment them, love their look and enjoy their company. These are the ones who still hold onto their male side but the Tranny side is slowly starting to merge and they are becoming some kind of Androgen between the two sexes. Their actions are becoming more fay, they dress in girly jeans. knickers and jackets, they sleep in a nightdress and some take mild hormones. Most clearly separate the ‘Man’ side occasionally giving him a totally different identity when they talk about ‘him’! They now buy girly clothes in a ratio of 3:1 to the man. A lot of the male pastimes have been driven into second place . The golf club, the football supporter, the pub goer or the car driver have become suppressed by a stronger drive that gives them identity. They don’t feel like a woman, they never have. Their core genetic code is male, however as they age and the testosterone levels reduce the more feminine side emerges. They get a much stronger feeling of belonging from their Femme persona and enjoy the more relaxed way in which they can engage with others.img_4663
  6. The Occasionals – this is the dump or default Transvestite. They have been through the TV wringer for a long time. They have found a balance between boy and femme times. The urge to dress comes and goes but when it strikes the girl just has to come out and play. This is an inner urge that is always laying in wait and they accept it will never leave them. For these people its a need, as opposed to a want, that has to be sated for a short period of time, but say to them that they can have a week dressed and they will be horrified. They have strong ‘blokey’ tendencies but to balance this life the girl in whatever form has to come out from time to time. This can be a night at home or a night out. Of all the TV’s they are the least likely to need appreciation and admiration, the will take the least pictures of themselves and just enjoy the fun of the moment without dominating the conversation. They are very self-indulgent and love their short period of time to themselves, particularly in front of the make-up mirror as they change their mindset, but after that who cares its just great escapism for a few fleeting moments to be repeated at some point in the future when the urge re-emerges.
Now I fully appreciate that we all  have elements of each of these but one category tends to dominate. I can take certain situations and identify many of these traits. It’s not meant as a panacea for all your worries just to highlight that there are many tendencies within us. First of all we have to stop feeling guilty about these elements just because society tells you that it just is not done. Instead embrace the things you enjoy, but don’t let it get too out of control.
I am sure that many of you must have a view on theses traits and want to add ones that you recognise  in others so please, please do offer some more comments to help me adapt this blog over time. img_4640
The one set of people I would remove from all these categories are the closet dressers, who are probably the biggest group of all Trannies. Most of us have come from this group at one time or another. The problem is that when it’s hidden we do not get the chance to truly identify which of these categories we fall into. Too much of the time is spent in short hits of being a Transvestite or more particularly a crossdresser who hasn’t got the time to dress completely in that furtive few moments when the house is theirs. We never quite make that mindset shift from Crossdresser to Transvestite because we are always worried about that key in the door!
These people  have such a complex mix of bottled up emotions that helps them cope with life’s ups and downs. It initially gives them a real sexual buzz, it is a naughty thing that would shock others if discovered but is just a quick release that is short lived.They live in that weird panic of enjoying something that at the same time, if discovered, would bring their world down around them. They have no time to find out what really drives them they just know they have to do it and get on with those fleeting fun moments that are sadly on their own. Their time will come but first they have to sort out their life.
For the rest of us lucky ones who are out and not worried about discovery it’s time for our own self-discovery XXX
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