Tara's Transvestite Blog

I do not care what many say, the arrival of autumn is an absolute godsend for many Trannies, or it was in the past! Summer represented a terrible time with kids around the place, not a moments privacy, unable to shave legs, hot sweaty temperatures creating runny make-up, long days when you did not want to go out, short nights being unable to get out and the interminable effect of wearing a wig in the sun, meant there were so many barriers to letting the girl within come out. Before this year I hated the long lay-off before Tara could re – emerge from the confines of the summer recess. In fact I am sure I had regular withdrawal symptoms where I became tetchy and moody. With the arrival of longer nights and cooler climes I could finally put on stockings, black dresses, a wig and undergarments without sweating like an 8 furlong racehorse on Epsom Downs.This summer I have got out more than ever before and had the guts to show my well-developed (male) shoulders in a more skimpy frock than I had ever imagined I would have done, even though I still make every effort to hide the male attributes as best as possible, always seeking perfection, never satisfied!. Result not a blind bit of notice! Nobody really cared except me! A couple of wayward double takes but then full acceptance. Why had I waited so long to wear that short revealing skirt. Why had I as always in the past let ‘the fear’  get in the way. Bugger I was pissed off! How much time had I lost as I am now a wrinkly old fart!

Susie and her dressing pals had had far more fun with bigger chests, bigger legs, bigger forearms and bigger shoulders than me out and about. Me for the bulk of time I stayed in and gambled with going out only to realise it was no big deal. When I went out I encountered only positive remarks, only positive encouragement and only positive advances. Damn why did I wait so long. Why had I gone for so many years avoiding the chance to get out and about in that very short far too revealing dress that I  had always avoided on the basis that it caused too much attention. BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER! Ah well as maturity has arrived I just put it down to a lot more experience and far too little guts! And a group of us are about to extend it with a trip to Masapalomas in Gran Canaria (why do the call it the Big Dog?) so watch this space for an interesting itinerary!
I always looked forward to autumn with the arrival of black and the enhancement of curves, to darker stockings and black heels. Now I am looking quizzically at a summer wardrobe of colour that maybe replaced by the dowdiness of autumn and winter shades.
I have enjoyed fake tanning my legs with  Mac body paint and exposing them bare in public for the first time. I have worn open toed sandals, a bugger to walk in if they have killer heels. I enjoyed having the confidence to wear less make up, not as glam but less sweaty! I also stopped wearing a corset as much as a ‘body’ suffices and its so much more comfortable. It has been fun. But oh the return of stockings, severe curves from a corset, bodycon dresses, slinky undergarments and close toed shoes or even better boots…ah now that’s going to be fun, God I love the return of autumn just as much!
There it is said! Summer was fun but the feast of the next few months fills me with more joy. Somehow it allows me to be more expressive, actually that is a fib, it allows me to play with the tranny side more expressively.   It’s a great buzz.

On a second issue I had a bit of an epiphany this week. I often write in my blogs about how I love the whole change of mindset that overcomes me in becoming Tara. The whole issue of how I can feel myself changing in my physical actions, my mental approach, my physical form and how excited it makes me feel. But this takes a bit of time, for me, to adjust from the male ‘do it, solve it’ mentality to transvestite with a softer, ‘take your time’, relaxed approach. At least a couple of days!

So it was a little disheartening when  a GG I have known for many years (and with whom I have had good discussions) who has known many Trannies, once again suggested we just put a dress on and go out…’you’ll have such a great time’. I thought she had understood what I had said about how it takes time and planning for ‘the change’. That putting on a dress and some make-up does not make Tara, it makes ‘him’ in a dress and I don’t get the same rush as I get out of the whole build-up to the event. I so enjoy the chase as much as the kill, maybe even more so!

But then I realised how could she understand something she cannot feel. That only a tranny who identifies with this change can comprehend the metamorphosis that overcomes us as we transform from male to transvestite (note I rarely use the word ‘female’ because I do not see myself as female more a member of the third sex). One can have some empathy in what they see in terms of look and actions but to comprehend what is going on inside our minds can only come with experiencing this whole change from caterpillar to butterfly. The gestation period cocoon time is much longer than they can understand. In the past with me it took the fun of several days now I can just about get the buzz in 36 hours!

One thing my partner Susie says is that during her dressings with Trannies she notices, almost universally,  how there are major changes taking place: she sees girls constantly stroking their nylon clad legs; their love to dance; the huge sigh as their alter-ego is revealed in the mirror; a complete softening of their mannerisms and a real sense of calmness. What she nor anybody else, who has not experienced it, cannot see is the alteration in the mindset that this is causing and why we suddenly develop little idiosyncrasies that some rarely comprehend. This is at the root of why the Transvestite (as very, very distinct from the Transsexual) community cannot hope to be accepted by society because they cannot explain it. So when I now realise why people do not understand what is happening I have to realise that it would take an entire book to explain what is going on inside my head and therefore how the hell are they expected to comprehend me. Now when I am asked at short notice to get dressed and go out I am far more tolerant I just say…’not tonight my headache has not yet arrived’. XXX