Tag Archive: Transsexualism


We are all at different stages in our Tranny life-cycle. This is dependent upon age, life stage, cash availability, marital status and our own acceptance as to who exactly we are. Because of the competing elements of the boy and femme side we are always in a constant state of flux as what part is dominant at any point in time. The two sides don’t make easy bedfellows (even though many would kid you that they can make it work) but some of us do manage to find a happy medium…at times!
But at a certain point in our lives we do start to ask the inevitable question of where am I going with all this? The answer is probably not very far but it has been an excellent journey of self-discovery. Getting to this stage is quite an evolutionary process that from a personal point of view (and I do mean this is only my viewpoint) I have seen as going through a series of stages of enlightenment.
When it starts in your life is irrelevant. I was 9 years old when I realise there was something at odds with what others might say, a TV friend of mine however only realised it on her 52nd birthday. What is important is that you do try to understand what stage you are at and how it might develop. But I do say thus is only my take on it. I am sure others have opinions, particularly as they develop they can suddenly realise that they are more TS than TV.
I can clearly see there have been 6 stages in my Transvestite evolution. These  are not necessarily linear, they can happen concurrently and may have huge time gaps between them:
Stage 1 – Realisation
At a certain point in your life you start to realise that there are certain things about you that are not quite ‘normal’ as defined by society at that point in time. You may become interested in items of clothing, a particular type of woman a certain style that you quite admire or you just purely want to be experimental. You initially don’t understand or for that matter care but you develop a fascination in certain aspects of the woman.shutterstock_780747442
I remember as a 9-year-old going to a local theatre for the Pantomime and on going backstage I realised I had become infatuated with the pair of tights the Genie had been wearing. So much so that I persuaded my grandmother to make me a pair which I wore constantly below my trousers. They in turn were linked to my first erections and I had my first orgasm whilst wearing them. I knew this was not normal for a person of my age and as always kept my guilty secret to myself.
But the seed had been set and to this day nylon hosiery still gives me a big rush…pervert!
Stage 2 – Stirrings
From the initial rush of the new-found interest you start to experiment as you enjoy the whole range of things you can do. You add more clothes and maybe a little makeup, you might develop fetishistic tendencies for knickers, skirts, tights, heels and other items of clothing. You don’t see yourself as a Tranny yet. Instead you just see it as a phase you are going through that leads to more experimentation but you think you will eventually grow out of it.
I remember in my teenage years I would spend many hours locked in the family bathroom taking ‘long baths’ whilst actually putting on my mother’s and sister’s underwear from the laundry basket in order to satisfy a need I did not understand, to dress.
For me this is very much the crossbreeding stage where the clothes or items of clothing are a very important drive principally linked to some sexual element. The drive that makes you feel horny when dressed is mixed up with the fun of dressing and on top of that its quite naughty as well!
Many people never really leave this stage as they see this as basically a sexual release and fantasy that they can enjoy from time to time. At this stage they rarely venture onto the true femme side instead they just get some great thrills as a man wearing women’s clothing for sexual release
Stage 3 – Dressing
For so many of us however there comes a point where we decide that we want to dress as completely as we possibly can as a woman. For us it seems a logical extension of what has gone before. There is some innate drive to do it which needs to be sated. This may happen little by little, at home first a bit of lipstick then some eyeshadow later some foundation, some breasts etc. etc. etc. For others they just have to go all the way as quickly as possible.
makeman1In my case it was just a point in time when I wanted to experiment with this side. I was in my early 30’s but in those days dressing services were not as prevalent as they are today. Transformation shops were the rip-off centre of the universe before the advent of the internet but they offered a fairly unique service and helped a lot of people along the way. In my case it was a kind private house where a very caring woman who took the time to understand my request for ‘looking for something different’ and said she was going to dress me up. And that was that! Something inside me instinctively knew. That light bulb moment where things kind of fall into  place but it took a further 20 years for me to accept it!
What I did not appreciate at the time was that dressing was bringing out a side of my personality that was completely hidden in the macho, rugby playing, beer drinking, womanising, party animal, stronger alpha male society that I lived in, and enjoyed, but there was also a lot missing.
Stage 4 – Getting Out
I don’t care what anybody says, sitting at home fully dressed admiring yourself in the mirror eventually becomes boring. ‘The Girl’ has to get out and get some form of approbation from the public at large for the person they are. They need someone to say you look fantastic even if they don’t. I always got the classic “wow what great legs you have” which means “shame about the rest’  but as I progressed so they said nice wig and eventually fantastic shoes! But I was out and about at last and that was what I wanted.
Going out doesn’t have to be to standard ‘vanilla’ venues. In fact for most their first confidence building excursion is normally to a ‘T’ event. But if it goes well as my first outing, to the now defunct Philbeach, then it is a huge stepping stone and its doubtful it will stop there. Once out most want more of the exposure drug of exposing themselves. Its exciting and a little bit naughty as well as you defy normal convention.
The fact is you need to be seen. my partner Susie at Chateau Femme sees it all the time. She dresses girls a couple of times and then sees in their eyes they just need to show off, but the thought of being caught tends to keep the majority of them firmly in the shadows. It’s some inner drive that says I have put a lot of effort and a lot of risk into this and I need some people to appreciate what I have done and I get a real kick from letting others share my femme side.
I believe it is at this point where you genuinely move away from the Crossdresser and the true Transvestite comes into play. Here you are letting society see that this is a genuine part of you that can no longer be hidden in a back bedroom. The girl is out!
Stage 5 – Exploring The Dark Side
Once you are out you are now moving into the discovery zone where emotions, sexuality and exploration become very confused. Yes you think you are mature in Tranny terms because you have the guts to go out, you are fully dressed, semi-passable and can walk in heels…well almost!  But just like a 16/17 year old girl who thinks they are a woman the big wild, wild  world awaits you and there are so many experiences you have to have.
I have talked about elements of being sexy, sexuality, fetishism, kink and experimentation in other blogs so i will no go into any depths. But suffice to say there are now avenues of experimentation that you are either interested in or purely feel you have to try as part of your right of passage into Trannydom.BDSM-SHEMALE-MISTRESS
So many of these routes are dead ends as you try something just to see what it is like but you soon realise this is really not you. Simple things like you think you look stunning in that really, really short skirt and get a real sexy kick out of it until you realise when you look objectively at a photo you look like a laughing-stock, unless that is your intention. Most TV’s play with their sexuality at all times and most want to try a sexual experience with a man or other TV just to try it out. Some enjoy this but the majority just say not for me and put it down to experience. Others try BDSM, maid/sissy, fetish events, Louboutin shoes, 40s clothing, secretary, doll masks, carpet slippers, others want to give birth! These things tend to be a set of fetishistic elements that will eventually combine together to make up your Tranny persona. The girl is starting to come of age but just because you love something does not mean others do.
Stage 6 – Into The Light
OK you have experimented you have found things you love and things you don’t like. You are starting to understand your femme side, what drives it and why you are the way you are. At this stage you know what floats your boat and now you start to move down those paths. You now understand what you want to make of yourself and grow and expand these aspects in so many areas.
I have a several friends who just like to shock mildly in the knowledge that they are drawing attention to themselves. They get a kick out of going to good quality restaurants and being seen as a Tranny. They make great efforts to slightly overdress and get so many compliments it makes them want more. Their buzz is being looked at. Some got to the Ritz other go to Bethnal Green working mens club! Each has its own merits in relation to getting attention.
Another TV friend who adores going out now wants to travel en femme and then have a whole holiday as the girl side and then some as they push the envelope more and more in girl mode.
Other girls I know have a bucket list of things that they want to do over the coming months/years and are just prioritising it. Each year new things appear and are ticked off as they look for a more and more exhilarating experiences.
For many this whole rush happens in later life and it stops them from becoming the little grey man in the corner lacking identity and feeling invisible.
But then suddenly we get to a point where most of the list has been ticked off, the restaurants have been visited, the events attended and the challenges have become fewer. We then start to ask ourselves ‘where am I going with this? I have tried to answer the other part of the question that happens concurrently of ‘why am I like this’ (which I hope I have answered in previous blogs) but the question also arises where now?
It’s atypical of our male side. We get to a certain point in our lives and ask what exactly will be my contribution to society or how can I leave at least some mark on the world that I might be remembered for in future generations rather than just being another statistic. This is a philosophical question that fills far too many books. From my perspective I think if you arrive at this juncture you should sit back and enjoy the sense of achievement as to journey you have come on as well as the pure fun and relaxation that the whole Trannying lifestyle offers and not try to force it.
Stage 6 – Acceptance
So we get to this final crucial point where you have to look at things and accept them for what they are and get on with enjoying them whilst you have breath in your body. It’s a place that some may never get to as they have to deal with all the turmoil of the society, family and commitments they have. They must pursue this whole ‘thing’ behind other people’s backs living a partial lie to ensure others have a better life.
Some, if they can get over some of the guilt of the sacrifices they have made, do arrive at this Nirvana and we accept that we are a Tranny and all that goes with it. Eschewing societies need to normalise us to ‘standard male type 1’ in favour of their own prognosis of what they want.
1717110207Being a Transvestite makes us feel alive and sexy. I personally think it keeps our minds much more alert having to deal with two personalities in one head. It’s a part of you that you dip into from time to time , but you also have respect for the boy side as well. You know a balance has to be achieved. Being in girl mode allows you an intense form of relaxation, almost mindfulness. It allows you to live for a short period of time in the moment free from the shackles of a society that wants to drag you back to the humdrum. It allows you freedom to indulge in activities that you see fit your life  or particular aspects of it. It’s not going to change the world and nor are you. Instead it is going to be an incredible release for you great peace of mind and sanity!
However please do not force your perspective on others. Each of us has our own view on life. You don’t like others telling you how to behave and the reverse also applies. I personally hate watching vulgar Trannies dumping all their crap onto good honest people just because they may have become frustrated at how much they have bottled up inside them over the years. They do not want to hear a boring Tranny monologue. Learn to live alongside one another.
So enjoy the journey it is such a fun learning experience to understand yourself and to realise you are not that one-dimensional politically correct numskull that todays civilisation wants you to be.
Instead you are just plain mad! XXX
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Trannys of the world realise that Transsexuals represent a real threat to your identity. I know it’s an eye catcher but people are getting us so mixed up, but in reality we are worlds apart. This applies even more so in recent months because there has been an explosions of Transgendered stories in the media. The acceptance of the TS had now moved over the Tipping Point. They are now a hot topic, which I am sorry to say we will never be! People such as Caitlin Jenner, Laverne Cox and Kelly Maloney  have all hit the headlines and their bank accounts by coming out and exposing their lives to the assembled media. As a result they can get their story across that says ‘I was born a man but have always wanted to be a woman’. This is an easy concept to grasp and explain, however our Tranny narrative is much much more complicated and difficult to get communicate.two women
How do we explain to people who have never experienced the feelings we get when we are completely transformed for the first time. How can you say to someone it juts feels/felt so right. Its innate to me. I am in a frame of mind that allows a hidden side (my so-called feminine or femme side) to emerge and I feel so calm, relaxed and yes, sexy when in this vogue.
Susie my partner who runs the  Chateau Femme dressing service likens it to the times when as a teenager she felt such a transformation of herself when she put on adult clothes, make-up and heels. In effect she was no longer a child. She says she felt so different and sexy. This was part of her becoming a woman. It felt so right to the ‘new woman’. I can identify with some of that but you have to add the layers of sexuality and the complete release from the restricting bonds of maledom for a short period of time are also part of that high.
I have alluded in my previous blogs about sexuality and what it means. In this case it does not mean that you are dressing for erotic purposes, though many do get turned on (this is called Transvestic Fetishism), nor is it about your sexual orientation. What I mean by sexuality is the capacity for you to move down a female route that can blur the male and female sides of our personality. Yes of course we can have sex in girl form but that does not necessarily relate to our inherent gender which to Transvestites tends to be  Male Plus (or should that be Male Minus) and this does change your sexual perspective.
However to say the words ‘sexual perspective’ immediately implies a Tranny has changed their sexual orientation and this is where the understanding of the Tranny goes soooo wrong! Yes I would agree that we become more playful and that our attitude to both sexes is not black and white but inside us is a fun-loving person that somehow, through a different look, is allowed us to approach life in general with a much more open attitude. It is as if somebody took the shackles of the ordinary day folk off us and allowed us to examine and experiment with the whole gamut of experience. We like the blurred lines between male and female but only for a short time.
Because we in effect are  ‘Gender Queer’  and fairly fluid (almost schizophrenic) in our persona it is very difficult for us to be understood or accepted. Society likes to put people into boxes Male and Female. In particular  TS’s even tend to look at TV’s as a lesser being than they are. You are not a real woman like me!  The problem is their issues are with gender but yours relate to a temporary change of mindset and the two are rarely good bedfellows! We queer the pitch for TS’s in what they see as their struggle for acceptance. They feel, with their recent acceptance, that we are now hanging on their coat tails, when in effect there are so many more TV’s than TS’s and they were quite happy to join with us before they gained their own identity. I don’t think we really seek acceptance in the way they do, we are looking for appreciation of how we look, because tomorrow we will be Bob again. Our dressing actually gives us a much stronger personal identity than that grey-haired man in the corner of the pub with the half of lager. We get noticed and we enjoy the acknowledgement and ultimately the fun of pushing this barrier!IMG_0838
Oops just re-read all that and realised its sounding like a psychology degree thesis. What I am trying to say is that it’s not really clear why we dress and where the motivation comes from. Almost every Tranny I know has different reasons for doing and a different route they arrived at dressing. But the one thing most of us have is that from time to time it is an incredibly strong motivating factor in our lives and we are constantly seeking a new experience
As you know I have been a member of several TV groups as well as  seeing the  many TVs that come through Chateau Femme. The vast majority of girls come here because they have an innate want to dress as it releases another side to their persona. Dressing gives them a new lease on life, a different perspective that allows them to be someone different for a short, fun period of time. They love that change of mindset that allows them to look at life from a different sexual perspective. They can relax more, they feel more in tune with themselves by casting off the expectations of society on what a man has to be. Because they are being nonconformist in their nature they do not have to adopt society’s social moires, instead they can be themselves. For some like me they like both the boy and the femme side and endeavour to keep them quite distinct. For others they start to take on more and more of the femme side into the male world and create a type of androgen that allows them have a certain harmony between the two sides.
I am also convinced this desire gets stronger as we age and our testosterone levels decline so a different balance of male and female hormones exist in our bodies. I also maintain as we get older the work/life balance changes, the kids fly the coop, we become more objective about life and don’t worry so much about society thinks. We realise we have been depriving ourselves of something and want to try a new route. So we take stock and realise this is something we have put off that we need to try. For many this embarks them on a roller-coaster ride that is full of fun, anxiety and intense personal analysis. At the end of all this turmoil we tend to come out and say ‘THIS IS ME’ like it or not. To some this acceptance takes many years to others the first time they dress it says everything. From there some do go down the TS route realising that is another layer for them or that purely they just feel better living as a woman instead of the high social pressure of conformity to the male world. For others its just a great bit of fun. TS’s are in turmoil we are party animals.
The TV is a player, a fun lover who just enjoys the pastime of being the girl. In its early stages you can see that teenager who likes to experiment with aspects of their sexuality. It can push you down routes that you may initially see as fun but ultimately realise are not you. There are a lot of dead ends in this voyage of self-discovery.. A TS tends to know where her ultimately goal is. The TV is constantly striving to find out why they are like they are, constantly asking questions, trying new things and exploring infinite possibilities thrown up by the femme side.  For the TS it’s a real-time change they desperately want to be. For the TV its a real buzz to explore new horizons and new experiences, to boldly go….! (By the way that is the most famous split infinitive) It’s a war of two very, very different types of people who appear on the surface to be similar but deep down are worlds apart.480px-A_TransGender-Symbol_Plain3.svg
The worst thing for a TV is that so many TS’s start as a TV or with a TV group only  to disown the ‘girls’ she met as friends because she feels that now they are not genuinely like her and are not part of ‘normal society’  I have seen it on too many occasions and it hurts that people we befriended helped and trusted now kick us in the teeth. We TV’s hate this and feel let down as we helped someone down their path but are now rejected for being freaks or disingenuous. So girls stand up for the TV and make sure you say I am a Transvestite not Transgendered! But our time will never come…hurrah!
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Oh God Time To Purge My Wardrobe Again!

This blog is, as always, really for the ‘novice’ transvestite who has not yet come to accept who they are. It is intended to save you a lot of money and concerns ‘purging’. I also make my standard disclaimer that this blog is primarily aimed at transvestites, particularly male to female who enjoy wearing clothes of the opposite sex, it is not really for TS’s as they are women trapped in a man’s body which dressing alone will not solve.

Purging is the bain of many of us and the cost of it will directly harm your finances! For anyone not knowing what purging is, put simply it is the disposal of your ‘girly’ things (normally your entire wardrobe and associated artefacts) due principally to you feeling guilty or embarrassed about who you are and/or what you are doing. It tends to happen when you start to question why you crossdress and whether you should stop as it may be starting to dominate too much of your life and you are not being manly enough! By taking the clothes away you think you will take away the urge to dress, as you do not have anything to wear. This in turn you believe will not conjure up those inner feelings that dressing gives you. You take away temptation and hence you cannot indulge. For a small few this does work. But as over 90% of trannies will tell you it never really removes the urge and you end up disposing of one wardrobe only to replace it with another.
There are numerous things that can trigger a purge but it is primarily it is in your mind:
  • You are very scared that your activity will be discovered and you will be exposed for the ‘pervert’ you are.
  • Transvestism/Crossdressing is determined as wrong by society and you should be ashamed of what you are doing so stop it!
  • You are incensed that this habit of wanting to dress in women’s clothes is taking up too much time and money and should stop immediately.
  • Its not really a manly pursuit dressing in women’s clothes and laughable from your mates perspective.
  • You are frightened that your secret stash of girly clothes will be discovered and you will be exposed for the shameful person you are…slut!
  • You have just had a brilliant time dressing and think that now is a good time to stop because, it’s not really an acceptable, and that you should go out on a high.
  • Your clothes have been discovered and you have agreed with your partner to dump them.
  • Dressing has now become an unnecessary diversion from other far more important things in life.
I personally have purged on 4 different occasions. 3 were due to the embarrassment/guilt factor and once was due to the discovery of Tara by my then wife. As you can imagine it means I have replaced my wardrobe on 4 occasions probably at a cost of over £1,000 per time! OK it was a cheap wardrobe!
So let’s just look at this whole area of shame logically and rationally. Firstly Society. There is natural bias amongst certain parts of society about many things for example BDSM was totally frowned on now Fifty Shades of Grey shows that consensual play is OK. The Xenophobic bias that is very obvious in British culture fomented by the likes of UKIP. The unfounded dislike of gays and lesbians over the years. Its a fact that some people have bias in their life, but the reality is that the majority of people are far more liberal in their views and say live and let live. By dressing you fall into a small sub-category of life that will cause people to stare purely because you are different. But from my experience most actually quite like to talk to you once they overcome the initial ‘shock’ that you are different because you are different. The second area is your own mindset. I liken it to cars. You buy one you were fairly unaware of and suddenly you see hundreds because your brain is alert to this type of car. In dressing it heightens all the fears above and it starts to dominate your thoughts so you are intensifying the feeling of embarrassment and guilt. As a result you look to a solution and purging is the answer. Bad premise.
clothes recycling

Yes Dumping It Make All The Feelings Go Away!

As I say almost all girls come back to dressing after purging. It is very difficult though to stop, Angela Gardener in the TG Forum has a similar article trying to help people as well as experiences from the Transgendered Forum relating to the cost and virtually nil benefits of throwing out your clothes.  You have to try to come to terms with the fact this is inherent within you. If you feel guilt try to come to terms with the fact that you are among thousands of others with a similar drive. Yes you are not a ‘vanilla’ person but then again who is! You are just like Manchester United supporters, something you do not understand but let them get on with it! Stop moralising it and manage it. Yes in a few circumstances it is wrong, it offends others, I have written about it in previous blogs on how we should handle some of these situations such as whether to tell your partner or not or going to the women’s guild annual meetings!
My partner Susie who runs a dressing service called Château Femme though does worry that if not managed correctly it can become all-consuming and dominate your waking hours. She sees novices who start by dressing once a month to moving to a need to dress almost all the time as its so innate to them. They do not feel like women but do love to move to the ‘femme side’ on a very regular basis. Believe you me I do and love the whole change of mindset as has been discussed in previous blogs. Some of course naturally realise that the dressing is a path to becoming a TS and that the woman has been suppressed within them for so long and it is the catalyst for a new path.
For the most of us the purging does stop when you can finally rationalise your dressing as a fun activity that is not really harming anyone, apart from you (and your family) because it is hidden. You can also start at this point to come to terms with it and realsie the guilt and embarrassment you felt is in reality of your own making. You are making it into a bigger thing than the ones around you do. Except possibly your immediate family which is something you may have to address at some point. But this is a case of timing and preparation. A good article for this regarding coming out to your wife/partner was written in the Chicago Now blog. I also have previous blogs on how we should handle this situation.
Life is all about balance it shifts all the time but denial on one side can lead to frustration on the other. Frustration can lead to stress which in turn makes you irritable and angry. Play between the two parts of your life responsibly and save money! XXX
As promised in my last blog lets move on from relationships. Now I know Christmas is a long way off but its one of those times when there are so many opportunities to get out dressed. My partner Susie at her dressing service at Chateau Femme gets a significant number of requests to go out either on her own or as part of our group Susie’s Angels. But for this we need to look good, or as good as we can get. Short of surgery, especially in my case, or lying through the photoshop or portrait professional pictue adaption software there are a few tips for helping us ageing trannies. To you younger ones reading this blog I say bitch! I hate you and wish I had been born in an era that was as acceting of transevstism. Just read this and realise all the effort we have to go through at our advanced age!!!4223030276_d031fd6e03_m
I was delighted to read an article by Helen Mirren on how she looked so good at her age. Basically she is saying use shorter hair, those longer tresses half way down your back as they are for the young, but still as men cover your ears  as they tend to be larger than women’s . Go blonde, very blonde, wear a lot more sparkle and go a shade darker in your foundation so the contrast makes the face much brighter.
Other things I have found work for me is go to light brown eyebrows as opposed todarker colours as this tends to make your now drooping eyes look larger,  lay off heavy eyeliner and mascara. One I also like is using using a contrasting lip colour to define the lips and give you a pout!
An article I found on Women Fashion Tips which I paraphrase below gave a set of really good tips on ageing make-up as follows:
Ageing is the fact of life but wrinkles and fine lines showing up on your face is an ugly fact indeed. So, you can change this by applying makeup properly to your face. Unlike what many women think, you really do not need to go for harsh skin treatments only to end up hurting your skin; instead you can use your makeup kit in a slightly different way to achieve a younger look. Remember, using the right amount of makeup will help in reducing wrinkle display. By following makeup tips to look younger you will continue to receive compliments from others on your young look.
When we apply anti-ageing makeup it should fulfil certain criteria which will help you understand that you have achieved the desired look. The makeup should:

  • Reduce wrinkles, crow’s feet, fine lines
  • Conceal dark circles and age spots
  • Moisturize your skin evenly to provide a hydrated look
  • Provide sun protection
  • Improve your good features
Man to WomanOnce you find your make-up provides all these you know that you have achieved the desired effect.
Anti-Ageing Makeup Primers
Applying anti aging makeup primers is one of the best makeup tips to look younger because it absorbs the extra oil secreted by your skin glands making you appear fresh all day. Use it under your makeup to get the best results.
Applying Foundation
Apply foundations that are light in texture with moisturizing effect for your skin to cover up your age spots and wrinkles. Using proper skin toned foundation is among the most important makeup tips to look younger. Mineral foundations render a glow to your skin without the oily effect and blending it properly can work wonders.
Face Powder
Some face powders are available with minerals and anti-aging elements; apply these to get the desired effect. In fact, it is wise to use powder sparingly.
Applying Blusher
The most significant of makeup tips to look younger is the application of blusher. When used properly on the apple of cheeks and blended nicely it can provide the best result and you will appear half your age. Also apply a shimmery shadow on the cheekbones to provide an uplifting effect for sagging skin. For an evening look use a matte variety of the same shade. It is also recommended to use creamy blushers instead of powders for a healthy rosy glow on your cheeks.
Eye Makeup
Remember, that you have to achieve a softer look for your eyes and thus apply the liner closest to the eyelash and smudge it with gentle hands. Doing a proper eye makeup is often most vital among the makeup tips to look younger. Use brow powder or eye shadow to fill in sparse eyebrows and sweep it gently over them to make the brows appear voluminous.
Concealer
Key to the makeup tips to look younger, a concealer as the name suggests conceals the fine lines, dark spots, wrinkles on your face. Makeup experts advise applying liquid concealer of a lighter shade than your skin tone on the inner and outer corner of the eyes to achieve the desired effect. Concealers can also be used on small blemishes and marks to cover them up.
Using Lipstick
With age the lips lose its rosy so start using rosy lipsticks to make them appear full, hydrated and beautiful. A little amount of gloss in the midsection of the lower lip will make it look fuller. Also consider using fillers. Tinted lip balms are great makeup tip to look younger.
Hair Style 
Crucial to makeup tips to look younger is a good hair style that makes your hair appear voluminous, soft and shiny. Get long and loose curls on your hair to make them voluminous and bouncy and use hair color sparingly These are simple tips but give all of us some guidelines. Lisa Eldridge also has some very good tips for eyes at Lisa Eldridge and Elle magazine shows you common mistakes you can make. Finally for all of us who wear wigs it can be a ‘glowing’ and denuding experience if you are hitting the dance floor at the festive time of year. A good guide for you is at Anna Marie Gianni
Get Practicing!!!tumblr_mt4u0o4Yju1qggxuvo1_500

Next blog will look at a few of the Christmas pitfalls for us girls!  XXX

I was at a lively party hosted by the wonderful Annabel last week. Her parties are always great fun and an opportunity for all walks of tranny life to come together for a few hours. They offer a rare opportunity for the more closeted trans folk to get all dolled up and engage in ‘girly’ fun within the confines of a private residence away from the prying eyes of disapproving society.

The party splits into 2 sides which are not mutually exclusive. On the one are those that just love to have the opportunity to dress and engage in social conversation with other trannies and admirers giving them an opportunity to just let go. On the other it gives those who get physically turned-on by dressing  a chance to meet others who engender the same feelings and see how things play out…principally in the bedroom. Its clean its safe and its great fun at all level.maletofemale

At all these parties the main topic of conversation is always tranny life in general. Newbies are desperate to find out if they are the only one with a particular bent for something be it shoes, short skirts, blonde wigs, dildos or dogging. The more advanced are looking to share many of the minutiae of their tranny life, how they realised they were a tranny and how their life has developed.

A vast bulk of the conversation is about their significant others.The bulk feel very guilty about what they have done (see my previous posts for more) but above all they all seem to care that they will not hurt their partner too much.

After the party a few of us stayed for dinner and the topic turned to Tranny acceptance. We all agreed for a tranny’s well being the first step is to move beyond what society has taught you about being a tranny and accept it within yourself. To come to terms with this deeply rooted driver that is within you and start to move on to a new life. For people like myself who had so much guilt (due to social conditioning) and had purged her wardrobe on at least 3 occasions this was just a cycle that repeated itself over and over again. It was only after 20 years of doing this I finally accepted who I was. I am a much better person for it, though some of the sensibilities remain.

I am amazed and very jealous of one of the girls Emma Reid (who I hope will not mind me saying is not a girl in her twenties) who over a period of less than 3 years has moved from being relatively unaware of her femme persona to full acceptance, a massive wardrobe and regularly travels in public en femme. She is very pretty but at 6ft 4ins in heels and a penchant for short skirts (who hasn’t!) can stand out. But she has come to terms with this in a very short period of time which is truly laudable and a fantastic example to all who are in the closet and worried!

Where we disagreed was how much we should impose our trans self on the general public. We all agreed that people are much, much more accepting of trannies than they were say 10 years ago. I can remember every time I went out (mainly in London) I would attract some form of attention, never aggressive just someone wanting to say ‘I spotted you’ and in many cases a compliment and an invite ensued. It wasn’t hostile but overt or a pure rejection that you existed. Society’s pressures had told them that trannies were gay, odd and definitely not one of us! Actually I think I quite liked that. I liked being odd and definitely got a kick out of doing something out of the norm. Quite a turn-on!

Nowadays society is much more accepting and its even better. Whilst I don’t think people can understand trannies because trannies themselves cannot explain why they like to dress. Its so much easier. When I am looking at clothes in shops assistants say ‘don’t be afraid to try it on,’ other customers (and I am in boy mode) say wow I would love to see you dressed and best of all I seem to attract a lot more female attention than I did 10 years ago…bugger! So lucky for the newly emerging trannies!

But where we diverted was that some of the girls felt that they are not offending anyone when they go out. They believe people really don’t mind or care so there is no real need to worry about stepping out of the front door and where we go. In fact people are so frightened of offending transgender people that they will never do anything that might come back on them in the media or via the police

I was of the opinion that there were still sensibilities amongst the general public that could be offended. I felt that all the girls were worried what the neighbours would say and hid themselves when leaving the house to avoid idle tittle tattle. So I thought it only right when they were away from their house as the opinions do not change just because they are incognito. I said you should book a table at a restaurant and phone ahead to say who we were just so that service would not suffer when you arrived unannounced. I also said that many gays and lesbians were outwardly hostile to trannies (not TS’s) because again they don’t understand how you can be ‘hetero’ and want to dress..how ironic is that from the prejudice they have suffered over the years. Transphobic gays!!! This is more evident when I go into gay clubs thinking they are more accepting. Instead I get people coming up to me saying why don’t you find your own club, we had to fight for this and you are not welcome!

We really are the last bastion of badly informed sexual prejudice that until we can come to terms with ourselves is not going to be changed soon.

The outcome of our discussions was we agreed that you should be quite unafraid of going into any more adult orientated venues but should think a little before visiting anywhere children were involved purely because of the protective nature of their parents.

Sean_Bean__1566553aThe thing is, people like to socialise with others of a similar disposition and mindset. So trannies like tranny venues where they can indulge in collective discourse of any type! So go to tranny venues or go in a big group and show them your spending power!

As may of you know my girlfriend Susie runs a dressing service called Chateau Femme and of course we discuss the many aspects of the types of girls she sees. Over the last week I think she has finally started to appreciate the kind of ‘girl’ I am. Its good to talk and I do appreciate how lucky I am to be able to discuss with someone who knows so much about the T-Girl community. Listen this might sound like a plug for her business (and it is) but she is a GG who absolutely adores Trannies and enjoys the time she spends with them.

Anyway there are times when she and I are discussing how female dressing makes us ‘girls’. I say not so, for me its a case of being feminine. I like playing with an aspect of my personality that is softer, more relaxed and to be honest more sexy than when I am in lad mode. It is a temporary escape from the vanilla rigours of the more boring male world. A chance to dress and present myself in a way A Great T-Girlthat to be honest excites myself. I am proud to enjoy being a transvestite. But I do not feel a woman. I get a rush from releasing  my feminine persona, but I do not want to be a woman. Perhaps one day we will say I am indulging in my third sex personality and we can blur the male/female distinctions much more. But I also like returning and enjoying my male side as well.

Susie says this is very different from many of her ‘Girls’ as they feel incredibly female when they dress in particular ways. A few do feel that they are a woman trapped in a mans body but the bulk find an intense expression of their personality when dressed. Some feel at home in long ball gowns some in wedding dresses or some in Chanel Twin-sets. The fact is that each can escape for a short time into their own female world. She says each one of has certain buttons that when pushed release a wave of femininity. She loves to watch the changes come over them as she discovers their individual drivers.

One of the hardest things with new girls is overcoming the shyness and guilt associated with cross-dressing and then finding out what are the right things for you. There are triggers that when you discover them bring out your feminine persona more and more. It is a A Great Trannyheady journey that you want to explore and lets be honest part of our male persona likes to take risks. I met Desmond Morris (the well known human anthropologist) several years ago and he always told me that men in particular will create elements of risk in their life even when it does not exist because it gives them a deep primeval rush. Dressing has certainly done that for me God help me if the clandestine nature of this world was taken away…would I take even more risks!

The bigger question for all in your risk assessment is do I want to get out in the wider world, would I pass, would |I be clocked/recognised. The answer to the last question is no. The real question here is more about attitude and presentation as it is about how you look. The less it looks, walks and acts like a duck the less it will be regarded as one (see my last entry). I have known guys that feel mortally offended because they are more attracted to the look of a tranny than the girl standing next to her! This is more about signals that you give out that a better trained social anthropologist can give you a far greater insight. Its really weird I personally do not fancy blokes but get a real kick out of the fact that the way I am dressed is quite attractive to them..odd! But then we are all a little odd.

Yes we are odd but those of us who have been doing this for a long time have now just accepted this and get on with it. To the newer Tranny there is a road to travel with the associated risks (more in your own mind). And boy…or should that be girl..those risks are quite a turn on in their own right

 

 

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I posted a link to the Wikipedia definitions of Transvestism, but there are so many interpretations that I thought I would give you my own thoughts. The transgender community mainly run by transsexuals would have my bollocks for a necklace for treating it in this way, but it is my interpretation. As I see it in its most basic there are 4 key types:

  1. Panty Wearers – these are the ones who get a kick out of wearing certain aspects of women’s clothing. For example when I was young it was stockings that got me turned on. In fact my first orgasm was whilst I was wearing a pair of women’s tights! Others I know get such a high from high heels, frilly knickers and some breast forms. They focus on these items for sexual gratification.
  2. Cross Dressers – after the initial foray into a particular type of clothing there comes a point where we want to dress fully. The complete transformation. My first one came in response to an interview with a mistress to whom I said ‘I want something different’! After 10 minutes she said ‘I think you are a tranny’. She dressed me and I could not believe what I was looking at, that was it. Many cross dressers need to get out and express this in the real world. Regardless they have to dress on a regular basis to feed the inner woman.
  3. Transvestites – this is where I believe the script changes. For me a TV is one where the sexual drive of dressing takes over. The overall site of oneself dressed creates a huge fantasy rush and from there we engage in many forms of sexual activity to satisfy the slut within. What form that takes we may look at later. In my life I have indulged in many activities and been down several blind alleys, but ultimately this has been why I dress.
  4. Transsexuals – there are some genetic males who just feel they were born to the wrong sex, there are some who modify their body because they enjoy having male and female parts, and there are some who do it to work in the sex industry. Suffice to say I consider transsexuals engage in some form of surgery that involves body modification that brings them closer to the look and form of the female sex. I have never wished for this but have seen the intense pain of girls who are so desperate to get rid of their male member that it is awful to watch how the medical profession puts off  the surgery necessary for them to progress in their life.

I see being a tranny as moving along this continuum with various branches such as fetishism, mistressing, male/female sex play, toys and rubber/leather. We decide to continue all the way or we get off at the level that gives us the most satisfaction. Within this whole sector there is a myriad of complex social, sexual and personal elements that make us all individual.

But help, if you want to talk to a TG girl who has come to terms with herself…I haven’t got a clue. I do not understand why I love to dress as a woman but I absolutely adore it! I am on a delicious emotional roller-coaster and and just waiting for the next ride! I score -40 on the COGIATI test making me an Androgyne who plays between the sexes and that is exactly where I am indulging the biggest sexual organ…the brain in that rather crude expression from America ‘A Mind Fuck’. Sorry but its exactly what dressing and playing does to me. Changes my whole persona from male to female but a very playful one! Other people say I ‘suffer’ from Autogynephelia (though I guarantee I only suffer a little bit! Click here 

There is for most a drive inside that is almost like alcoholism. Its an itch that has to be scratched. So many of us have gone through a guilt trip where we ‘purge’ our wardrobes of the female clothes only to return some days/weeks/months/years later until we eventually come to terms with ourselves. I am an amateur I only had 4 purges and it cost me about £5k!!!

Oh and if you don’t have a sense of humor to go with this life then your self image needs re-adjusting! I seek and enjoy new and challenging sensations in all aspects of life. I do not want to go to the grave saying ‘I wish I had done this or that’ I want to know that I have tried and enjoyed so much of what life throws at us. I hate being conditioned by religion, social mores, standardised expectations and political correctness. I intend to enjoy life as long as I do not offend others in the process.

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