



This blog is, as always, really for the ‘novice’ transvestite who has not yet come to accept who they are. It is intended to save you a lot of money and concerns ‘purging’. I also make my standard disclaimer that this blog is primarily aimed at transvestites, particularly male to female who enjoy wearing clothes of the opposite sex, it is not really for TS’s as they are women trapped in a man’s body which dressing alone will not solve.
Next blog will look at a few of the Christmas pitfalls for us girls! XXX
I was at a lively party hosted by the wonderful Annabel last week. Her parties are always great fun and an opportunity for all walks of tranny life to come together for a few hours. They offer a rare opportunity for the more closeted trans folk to get all dolled up and engage in ‘girly’ fun within the confines of a private residence away from the prying eyes of disapproving society.
The party splits into 2 sides which are not mutually exclusive. On the one are those that just love to have the opportunity to dress and engage in social conversation with other trannies and admirers giving them an opportunity to just let go. On the other it gives those who get physically turned-on by dressing a chance to meet others who engender the same feelings and see how things play out…principally in the bedroom. Its clean its safe and its great fun at all level.
At all these parties the main topic of conversation is always tranny life in general. Newbies are desperate to find out if they are the only one with a particular bent for something be it shoes, short skirts, blonde wigs, dildos or dogging. The more advanced are looking to share many of the minutiae of their tranny life, how they realised they were a tranny and how their life has developed.
A vast bulk of the conversation is about their significant others.The bulk feel very guilty about what they have done (see my previous posts for more) but above all they all seem to care that they will not hurt their partner too much.
After the party a few of us stayed for dinner and the topic turned to Tranny acceptance. We all agreed for a tranny’s well being the first step is to move beyond what society has taught you about being a tranny and accept it within yourself. To come to terms with this deeply rooted driver that is within you and start to move on to a new life. For people like myself who had so much guilt (due to social conditioning) and had purged her wardrobe on at least 3 occasions this was just a cycle that repeated itself over and over again. It was only after 20 years of doing this I finally accepted who I was. I am a much better person for it, though some of the sensibilities remain.
I am amazed and very jealous of one of the girls Emma Reid (who I hope will not mind me saying is not a girl in her twenties) who over a period of less than 3 years has moved from being relatively unaware of her femme persona to full acceptance, a massive wardrobe and regularly travels in public en femme. She is very pretty but at 6ft 4ins in heels and a penchant for short skirts (who hasn’t!) can stand out. But she has come to terms with this in a very short period of time which is truly laudable and a fantastic example to all who are in the closet and worried!
Where we disagreed was how much we should impose our trans self on the general public. We all agreed that people are much, much more accepting of trannies than they were say 10 years ago. I can remember every time I went out (mainly in London) I would attract some form of attention, never aggressive just someone wanting to say ‘I spotted you’ and in many cases a compliment and an invite ensued. It wasn’t hostile but overt or a pure rejection that you existed. Society’s pressures had told them that trannies were gay, odd and definitely not one of us! Actually I think I quite liked that. I liked being odd and definitely got a kick out of doing something out of the norm. Quite a turn-on!
Nowadays society is much more accepting and its even better. Whilst I don’t think people can understand trannies because trannies themselves cannot explain why they like to dress. Its so much easier. When I am looking at clothes in shops assistants say ‘don’t be afraid to try it on,’ other customers (and I am in boy mode) say wow I would love to see you dressed and best of all I seem to attract a lot more female attention than I did 10 years ago…bugger! So lucky for the newly emerging trannies!
But where we diverted was that some of the girls felt that they are not offending anyone when they go out. They believe people really don’t mind or care so there is no real need to worry about stepping out of the front door and where we go. In fact people are so frightened of offending transgender people that they will never do anything that might come back on them in the media or via the police
I was of the opinion that there were still sensibilities amongst the general public that could be offended. I felt that all the girls were worried what the neighbours would say and hid themselves when leaving the house to avoid idle tittle tattle. So I thought it only right when they were away from their house as the opinions do not change just because they are incognito. I said you should book a table at a restaurant and phone ahead to say who we were just so that service would not suffer when you arrived unannounced. I also said that many gays and lesbians were outwardly hostile to trannies (not TS’s) because again they don’t understand how you can be ‘hetero’ and want to dress..how ironic is that from the prejudice they have suffered over the years. Transphobic gays!!! This is more evident when I go into gay clubs thinking they are more accepting. Instead I get people coming up to me saying why don’t you find your own club, we had to fight for this and you are not welcome!
We really are the last bastion of badly informed sexual prejudice that until we can come to terms with ourselves is not going to be changed soon.
The outcome of our discussions was we agreed that you should be quite unafraid of going into any more adult orientated venues but should think a little before visiting anywhere children were involved purely because of the protective nature of their parents.
The thing is, people like to socialise with others of a similar disposition and mindset. So trannies like tranny venues where they can indulge in collective discourse of any type! So go to tranny venues or go in a big group and show them your spending power!
As may of you know my girlfriend Susie runs a dressing service called Chateau Femme and of course we discuss the many aspects of the types of girls she sees. Over the last week I think she has finally started to appreciate the kind of ‘girl’ I am. Its good to talk and I do appreciate how lucky I am to be able to discuss with someone who knows so much about the T-Girl community. Listen this might sound like a plug for her business (and it is) but she is a GG who absolutely adores Trannies and enjoys the time she spends with them.
Anyway there are times when she and I are discussing how female dressing makes us ‘girls’. I say not so, for me its a case of being feminine. I like playing with an aspect of my personality that is softer, more relaxed and to be honest more sexy than when I am in lad mode. It is a temporary escape from the vanilla rigours of the more boring male world. A chance to dress and present myself in a way that to be honest excites myself. I am proud to enjoy being a transvestite. But I do not feel a woman. I get a rush from releasing my feminine persona, but I do not want to be a woman. Perhaps one day we will say I am indulging in my third sex personality and we can blur the male/female distinctions much more. But I also like returning and enjoying my male side as well.
Susie says this is very different from many of her ‘Girls’ as they feel incredibly female when they dress in particular ways. A few do feel that they are a woman trapped in a mans body but the bulk find an intense expression of their personality when dressed. Some feel at home in long ball gowns some in wedding dresses or some in Chanel Twin-sets. The fact is that each can escape for a short time into their own female world. She says each one of has certain buttons that when pushed release a wave of femininity. She loves to watch the changes come over them as she discovers their individual drivers.
One of the hardest things with new girls is overcoming the shyness and guilt associated with cross-dressing and then finding out what are the right things for you. There are triggers that when you discover them bring out your feminine persona more and more. It is a heady journey that you want to explore and lets be honest part of our male persona likes to take risks. I met Desmond Morris (the well known human anthropologist) several years ago and he always told me that men in particular will create elements of risk in their life even when it does not exist because it gives them a deep primeval rush. Dressing has certainly done that for me God help me if the clandestine nature of this world was taken away…would I take even more risks!
The bigger question for all in your risk assessment is do I want to get out in the wider world, would I pass, would |I be clocked/recognised. The answer to the last question is no. The real question here is more about attitude and presentation as it is about how you look. The less it looks, walks and acts like a duck the less it will be regarded as one (see my last entry). I have known guys that feel mortally offended because they are more attracted to the look of a tranny than the girl standing next to her! This is more about signals that you give out that a better trained social anthropologist can give you a far greater insight. Its really weird I personally do not fancy blokes but get a real kick out of the fact that the way I am dressed is quite attractive to them..odd! But then we are all a little odd.
Yes we are odd but those of us who have been doing this for a long time have now just accepted this and get on with it. To the newer Tranny there is a road to travel with the associated risks (more in your own mind). And boy…or should that be girl..those risks are quite a turn on in their own right
I posted a link to the Wikipedia definitions of Transvestism, but there are so many interpretations that I thought I would give you my own thoughts. The transgender community mainly run by transsexuals would have my bollocks for a necklace for treating it in this way, but it is my interpretation. As I see it in its most basic there are 4 key types:
I see being a tranny as moving along this continuum with various branches such as fetishism, mistressing, male/female sex play, toys and rubber/leather. We decide to continue all the way or we get off at the level that gives us the most satisfaction. Within this whole sector there is a myriad of complex social, sexual and personal elements that make us all individual.
But help, if you want to talk to a TG girl who has come to terms with herself…I haven’t got a clue. I do not understand why I love to dress as a woman but I absolutely adore it! I am on a delicious emotional roller-coaster and and just waiting for the next ride! I score -40 on the COGIATI test making me an Androgyne who plays between the sexes and that is exactly where I am indulging the biggest sexual organ…the brain in that rather crude expression from America ‘A Mind Fuck’. Sorry but its exactly what dressing and playing does to me. Changes my whole persona from male to female but a very playful one! Other people say I ‘suffer’ from Autogynephelia (though I guarantee I only suffer a little bit! Click here
There is for most a drive inside that is almost like alcoholism. Its an itch that has to be scratched. So many of us have gone through a guilt trip where we ‘purge’ our wardrobes of the female clothes only to return some days/weeks/months/years later until we eventually come to terms with ourselves. I am an amateur I only had 4 purges and it cost me about £5k!!!
Oh and if you don’t have a sense of humor to go with this life then your self image needs re-adjusting! I seek and enjoy new and challenging sensations in all aspects of life. I do not want to go to the grave saying ‘I wish I had done this or that’ I want to know that I have tried and enjoyed so much of what life throws at us. I hate being conditioned by religion, social mores, standardised expectations and political correctness. I intend to enjoy life as long as I do not offend others in the process.