Category: Transsexual


Trannys of the world realise that Transsexuals represent a real threat to your identity. I know it’s an eye catcher but people are getting us so mixed up, but in reality we are worlds apart. This applies even more so in recent months because there has been an explosions of Transgendered stories in the media. The acceptance of the TS had now moved over the Tipping Point. They are now a hot topic, which I am sorry to say we will never be! People such as Caitlin Jenner, Laverne Cox and Kelly Maloney  have all hit the headlines and their bank accounts by coming out and exposing their lives to the assembled media. As a result they can get their story across that says ‘I was born a man but have always wanted to be a woman’. This is an easy concept to grasp and explain, however our Tranny narrative is much much more complicated and difficult to get communicate.two women
How do we explain to people who have never experienced the feelings we get when we are completely transformed for the first time. How can you say to someone it juts feels/felt so right. Its innate to me. I am in a frame of mind that allows a hidden side (my so-called feminine or femme side) to emerge and I feel so calm, relaxed and yes, sexy when in this vogue.
Susie my partner who runs the  Chateau Femme dressing service likens it to the times when as a teenager she felt such a transformation of herself when she put on adult clothes, make-up and heels. In effect she was no longer a child. She says she felt so different and sexy. This was part of her becoming a woman. It felt so right to the ‘new woman’. I can identify with some of that but you have to add the layers of sexuality and the complete release from the restricting bonds of maledom for a short period of time are also part of that high.
I have alluded in my previous blogs about sexuality and what it means. In this case it does not mean that you are dressing for erotic purposes, though many do get turned on (this is called Transvestic Fetishism), nor is it about your sexual orientation. What I mean by sexuality is the capacity for you to move down a female route that can blur the male and female sides of our personality. Yes of course we can have sex in girl form but that does not necessarily relate to our inherent gender which to Transvestites tends to be  Male Plus (or should that be Male Minus) and this does change your sexual perspective.
However to say the words ‘sexual perspective’ immediately implies a Tranny has changed their sexual orientation and this is where the understanding of the Tranny goes soooo wrong! Yes I would agree that we become more playful and that our attitude to both sexes is not black and white but inside us is a fun-loving person that somehow, through a different look, is allowed us to approach life in general with a much more open attitude. It is as if somebody took the shackles of the ordinary day folk off us and allowed us to examine and experiment with the whole gamut of experience. We like the blurred lines between male and female but only for a short time.
Because we in effect are  ‘Gender Queer’  and fairly fluid (almost schizophrenic) in our persona it is very difficult for us to be understood or accepted. Society likes to put people into boxes Male and Female. In particular  TS’s even tend to look at TV’s as a lesser being than they are. You are not a real woman like me!  The problem is their issues are with gender but yours relate to a temporary change of mindset and the two are rarely good bedfellows! We queer the pitch for TS’s in what they see as their struggle for acceptance. They feel, with their recent acceptance, that we are now hanging on their coat tails, when in effect there are so many more TV’s than TS’s and they were quite happy to join with us before they gained their own identity. I don’t think we really seek acceptance in the way they do, we are looking for appreciation of how we look, because tomorrow we will be Bob again. Our dressing actually gives us a much stronger personal identity than that grey-haired man in the corner of the pub with the half of lager. We get noticed and we enjoy the acknowledgement and ultimately the fun of pushing this barrier!IMG_0838
Oops just re-read all that and realised its sounding like a psychology degree thesis. What I am trying to say is that it’s not really clear why we dress and where the motivation comes from. Almost every Tranny I know has different reasons for doing and a different route they arrived at dressing. But the one thing most of us have is that from time to time it is an incredibly strong motivating factor in our lives and we are constantly seeking a new experience
As you know I have been a member of several TV groups as well as  seeing the  many TVs that come through Chateau Femme. The vast majority of girls come here because they have an innate want to dress as it releases another side to their persona. Dressing gives them a new lease on life, a different perspective that allows them to be someone different for a short, fun period of time. They love that change of mindset that allows them to look at life from a different sexual perspective. They can relax more, they feel more in tune with themselves by casting off the expectations of society on what a man has to be. Because they are being nonconformist in their nature they do not have to adopt society’s social moires, instead they can be themselves. For some like me they like both the boy and the femme side and endeavour to keep them quite distinct. For others they start to take on more and more of the femme side into the male world and create a type of androgen that allows them have a certain harmony between the two sides.
I am also convinced this desire gets stronger as we age and our testosterone levels decline so a different balance of male and female hormones exist in our bodies. I also maintain as we get older the work/life balance changes, the kids fly the coop, we become more objective about life and don’t worry so much about society thinks. We realise we have been depriving ourselves of something and want to try a new route. So we take stock and realise this is something we have put off that we need to try. For many this embarks them on a roller-coaster ride that is full of fun, anxiety and intense personal analysis. At the end of all this turmoil we tend to come out and say ‘THIS IS ME’ like it or not. To some this acceptance takes many years to others the first time they dress it says everything. From there some do go down the TS route realising that is another layer for them or that purely they just feel better living as a woman instead of the high social pressure of conformity to the male world. For others its just a great bit of fun. TS’s are in turmoil we are party animals.
The TV is a player, a fun lover who just enjoys the pastime of being the girl. In its early stages you can see that teenager who likes to experiment with aspects of their sexuality. It can push you down routes that you may initially see as fun but ultimately realise are not you. There are a lot of dead ends in this voyage of self-discovery.. A TS tends to know where her ultimately goal is. The TV is constantly striving to find out why they are like they are, constantly asking questions, trying new things and exploring infinite possibilities thrown up by the femme side.  For the TS it’s a real-time change they desperately want to be. For the TV its a real buzz to explore new horizons and new experiences, to boldly go….! (By the way that is the most famous split infinitive) It’s a war of two very, very different types of people who appear on the surface to be similar but deep down are worlds apart.480px-A_TransGender-Symbol_Plain3.svg
The worst thing for a TV is that so many TS’s start as a TV or with a TV group only  to disown the ‘girls’ she met as friends because she feels that now they are not genuinely like her and are not part of ‘normal society’  I have seen it on too many occasions and it hurts that people we befriended helped and trusted now kick us in the teeth. We TV’s hate this and feel let down as we helped someone down their path but are now rejected for being freaks or disingenuous. So girls stand up for the TV and make sure you say I am a Transvestite not Transgendered! But our time will never come…hurrah!

This has been a good week for the transgendered community with Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner coming out in Vanity Fair  the BBC publishing a good  set of definitions of Trans people (except they say Transvestite is being replaced with Crossdresser as a name!) and the ex boxing promoter Frank Maloney now called Kellie doing a Channel 5 Documentary on her re-assignment surgery called No Turning Back. But as always the focus is on the Transsexual element not on the Transvestite/Crossdresser route. So to redress the situation whilst I was away on holiday I read the book Men in Bras, Panties and Dresses: The Secret Truths About Transvestites by Dr Vernon Coleman. This is not a page turner more a very realistic approach to what Transvestites are about and shows in stark reality the differences to ourselves and the TS community, but gets very little airing whilst the others are hogging the news. This is principally because most of us are as Dr Coleman finds quite contented with the way we are and not really trapped as so many dysphoric transsexuals are. The natural question is will society ever accept us!0ed113a0-0968-11e5-9bad-270519a395e0_4b917080-0929-11e5-a821-c7eae7a0b3f6_Caitlyn-Jenner-VF2

Whilst we were away Susie and I were in a bar the other night (as we do on a regular basis) discussing the various types of girls she sees at her Chateau Femme dressing service and the similarities to Dr Coleman’s findings. We agreed, that without trying to TV’s into too simple a category,we do broadly divide, no that’s not the word, have a tendency towards a certain reason for being a tranny. We think this falls into one of three persona.

Firstly there is the ‘Femme’  type which is dominated by a particular look that makes them feel very feminine and allows them to emulate a woman’s looks and mannerisms.

Secondly there are those of us who have to have a look that gives them an incredible buzz that makes them feel very ‘Sexy’. They tend to dress as they would like others (girls or trannies) to dress, and spend a hell of a lot of time looking at themselves in the mirror as they see a reflection of an ideal person.tumblr_lmwlxfRv6S1qdosm7o1_500

The final bent are those get an intense ‘Sexual’ rush from dressing. They like to look and feel a kind of sex object that loves the attention of others and can lead to other things! They can use this as a mask for fun and frolics.

 Almost all of us love the femme look in one particular way or another. But for many this is the key driver. Something deep inside oneself that says you want to look attractive and elegant on a womanly basis and this dominates what you see in the mirror. Dressing illicits a transformation that allows an inner self, that in many cases has been hidden for so long to emerge. For many this can be the start of a route to the Trangender world. For others it is just a deep seated need to wear particular styles of female attire that has to be sated.
I on the other hand identify more with the second category. I love the phenomenal rush that dressing gives me. It also gives me an incredible sense of calm. As I have said in previous posts it does makes me feel sexy but in an inner exciting way. Not a barnstorming erection in my knickers, instead it is an inner feeling my male side does not understand! As I have said in the past it is the whole ‘mind fuck’ that gets me going. I wear clothes that I adore seeing others wear which naturally are of course far too adventurous for a person of my advanced years. Susie says that I can get away with it because people see me as a tranny, whereas she could never dress in a similar fashion in public! I do like the adulation that I can get from strangers purely as I am dressing in a particular style that some do like.
The third category is an area that many of us at one point in our dressing life may have indulged. We look at the rush of excitement we get from dressing as an intense experience that translates into wilder sexual side. It makes us more playful, more experimental and the mask of changing our persona allows us to try things we would have probably avoided if we were dressed in drab. It gives you permission to play. For many this continues to be the major drive for dressing and you get good honest sexual kicks from it!
The three are naturally not mutually exclusive but they can come into conflict. There are days when dressing is just something you have to do. You just love the fact that you are dressed. It’s not sexy just calming. Other days you just have to put on that short skirt and heels because…well you just look so hot to yourself. Then there are other days when you want to show it to the world and get some feedback for all the effort you have put in and then…!
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We are not simple beings we are highly complex almost schizophrenic individuals embracing several personalities. Wonderful! I feel sorry for those who have not been able to indulge in this roller coaster of emotions. But then they would probably say I as a person who is not happy within myself. Rubbish I am happier than I have ever been XXX

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I posted a link to the Wikipedia definitions of Transvestism, but there are so many interpretations that I thought I would give you my own thoughts. The transgender community mainly run by transsexuals would have my bollocks for a necklace for treating it in this way, but it is my interpretation. As I see it in its most basic there are 4 key types:

  1. Panty Wearers – these are the ones who get a kick out of wearing certain aspects of women’s clothing. For example when I was young it was stockings that got me turned on. In fact my first orgasm was whilst I was wearing a pair of women’s tights! Others I know get such a high from high heels, frilly knickers and some breast forms. They focus on these items for sexual gratification.
  2. Cross Dressers – after the initial foray into a particular type of clothing there comes a point where we want to dress fully. The complete transformation. My first one came in response to an interview with a mistress to whom I said ‘I want something different’! After 10 minutes she said ‘I think you are a tranny’. She dressed me and I could not believe what I was looking at, that was it. Many cross dressers need to get out and express this in the real world. Regardless they have to dress on a regular basis to feed the inner woman.
  3. Transvestites – this is where I believe the script changes. For me a TV is one where the sexual drive of dressing takes over. The overall site of oneself dressed creates a huge fantasy rush and from there we engage in many forms of sexual activity to satisfy the slut within. What form that takes we may look at later. In my life I have indulged in many activities and been down several blind alleys, but ultimately this has been why I dress.
  4. Transsexuals – there are some genetic males who just feel they were born to the wrong sex, there are some who modify their body because they enjoy having male and female parts, and there are some who do it to work in the sex industry. Suffice to say I consider transsexuals engage in some form of surgery that involves body modification that brings them closer to the look and form of the female sex. I have never wished for this but have seen the intense pain of girls who are so desperate to get rid of their male member that it is awful to watch how the medical profession puts off  the surgery necessary for them to progress in their life.

I see being a tranny as moving along this continuum with various branches such as fetishism, mistressing, male/female sex play, toys and rubber/leather. We decide to continue all the way or we get off at the level that gives us the most satisfaction. Within this whole sector there is a myriad of complex social, sexual and personal elements that make us all individual.

But help, if you want to talk to a TG girl who has come to terms with herself…I haven’t got a clue. I do not understand why I love to dress as a woman but I absolutely adore it! I am on a delicious emotional roller-coaster and and just waiting for the next ride! I score -40 on the COGIATI test making me an Androgyne who plays between the sexes and that is exactly where I am indulging the biggest sexual organ…the brain in that rather crude expression from America ‘A Mind Fuck’. Sorry but its exactly what dressing and playing does to me. Changes my whole persona from male to female but a very playful one! Other people say I ‘suffer’ from Autogynephelia (though I guarantee I only suffer a little bit! Click here 

There is for most a drive inside that is almost like alcoholism. Its an itch that has to be scratched. So many of us have gone through a guilt trip where we ‘purge’ our wardrobes of the female clothes only to return some days/weeks/months/years later until we eventually come to terms with ourselves. I am an amateur I only had 4 purges and it cost me about £5k!!!

Oh and if you don’t have a sense of humor to go with this life then your self image needs re-adjusting! I seek and enjoy new and challenging sensations in all aspects of life. I do not want to go to the grave saying ‘I wish I had done this or that’ I want to know that I have tried and enjoyed so much of what life throws at us. I hate being conditioned by religion, social mores, standardised expectations and political correctness. I intend to enjoy life as long as I do not offend others in the process.

Transvestism – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

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