Tara's Transvestite Blog

Am I A Tranny?

Last week there was one of those interminable discussions on Facebook regarding the use of the word Transvestite and Tranny. How some see this as degrading and others are accepting of it. I as many of you who have read my blog am very accepting of it but I do get tired of people going on about whether it is right or wrong. Just be relaxed and understand what the ‘label ‘ means to the majority of people.
The dictionary or accepted definition of Transvestite (which I think comes more from an American rather than British perspective) is : ‘a person, typically a man, who derives pleasure from dressing in clothes appropriate to the opposite sex’. However in many cases in the definition some add ‘a person who derives sexual pleasure’ to the basic definition. The issue that is always the bone of contention is when the comment issue of ‘dressing for sexual thrill’ comes into it and then some add ‘to have sex’ on top of all this Then the plain and honest dressers throw all their toys out of the cupboard and stamp on them! For my own ten penneth I think we have to distinguish between the thrill of dressing and the act of a sexual experience.
I do get a ‘sexy’ thrill from dressing but not a ‘sexual’ one. Susie who runs the Château Femme dressing service likens it to when she was 17 and went out dressed with her girlfriends on her own for the first time. They all felt incredibly beautiful sexy and randy but that doesn’t mean they were on the pull. It was the elation of getting out and about as they wanted to be, not in the controlled fashion dictated by their parents. The whole dressing experience for them was an uplifting one and so it is for Trannies. Hah! have used the forbidden word again! The former is confused with the latter in the vernacular.
I have always said in the past that I feel sexy when dressed en femme. I do not feel sexy dressed as a man but put those girly clothes on and It’s a rush and a half!
Susie, kind as she is, said I look sexy as a man. But I offered her the idea that she should imagine herself with short, thinning, balding hair, no make-up, cotton bra and knickers, in a t-shirt and jeans and flat shoes does she feel sexy…answer no! Then think of herself with long hair beautifully made up plenty of jewellery a short dress stockings and heels with manicured and painted nails and some sexy silk underwear under all that. How does she feel now? Yep,that’s the sexy feel us Transvestite well I get, not sexual!
Yes of course it may make us feel a little horny but that is part of the whole release of the inner you. Without the rush I get in front of the mirror when I first look at myself fully dressed it would be a deflating experience. I would also couple this to another element which is the sheer sigh of relaxation that Tara is back and the associated change of mindset this offers. LOVE IT!
But this also leads to that inevitable question that we all ask ourselves ‘why am I like this?’ Why do I feel it is such an integral part of my being that I have to dress on a regular basis and, when deprived of it for a period of time, I can become frustrated, edgy and even mildly  depressed? There is nothing genetic about it so what is it that drives us? This is a time-honoured question which many have looked at, but no one yet has a definitive answer (too much of a minority subject). Therefore any amateur psychologist can have a go. So here is my two-minute personal view on the subject.
I believe there are two routes into transvestism (note not Transsexualism, that is completely different). The first is that it is innate in us. Susie says that in her dressing service about 80 percent of her customers say it has always been there and that they have suppressed it for a long time. Others, like me, had an experience of something or other that triggered the interest/desire. in my case it happened around puberty, and this had a fundamental effect on them and that lead them to dressing. In my case it was a fascination with stockings and tights from a very early age, so much so that my first orgasm was whilst wearing tights. I did not know what had happened (sex education did not exist and your parents did not discuss it) and it left a strong impression on me . Wearing stockings led to experimentation with dressing and so on…
But from there we then go on the whole should I dress and the associated guilt trips of dressing. This can involve many cycles and cross many years.  The reality is that at some point we come to terms with it and accept that it is something within us, it offends few so why the hell not get on with it. Unfortunately for many the sheer embarrassment of being found out, particularly when younger, is a bigger driver than indulging in an activity frowned on by a large segment of society.
With most of us it is a roadmap that has many twists and turns. We all try numerous routes and find many dead ends on our path to enlightenment. But isn’t that all part of the fun? The eralier you start the more fun you can have!
To give you an example this is how it worked for me. As I said in my early teens it started with stockings and occasionally trying on my sister’s clothes. When I moved away from home in my late teens the urge receded with my first girlfriends and the introduction to sex. That occupied enough of my time! I tried on a couple of things but it lay dormant until my early thirties when a playful Sub/Dom night with a girlfriend just clicked on something. After we split I went to a mistress for the first time with a ‘like something different’ request. After 20 mins chat she said ‘I think you are a Transvestite’.  She dressed me and that was that. For the subsequent years I bought clothes dressed in secret got a guilt trip and purged on at least 4 occasions. Ouch, all those clothes and money in a dump bin!
Finally by my mid 40’s I accepted it. This was primarily due to the internet.  I realised there are thousands like me that had had the similar experiences to a greater or lesser extent. I realised it was not going to recede and I had to accept it. I started to go out and my wardrobe grew. It was fun. Then my wife found out and we divorced. It was not the dressing it was the fact that I had lied and kept it from her that had such a shock. Now I am able to pursue it as I wish. But that is just one level. One side issue however has been that as a result of all those years of guilt and dishonesty I still have problems opening up to anyone about it. Even a girlfriend that runs a dressing service! You get so used to hiding things it becomes the norm, and to be honest you are only dumping your years of pent up frustration on someone who really is not that empathetic.
On top of this there are numerous other layers one of which is the whole illicit element of the fact it is ‘not done’ in society. I think many of us actually enjoy that we are different from mainstream society and we are doing something a little naughty and that gives us a thrill as well. Then there is also the fantasy element where us more mature Trannies dress in outfits a 30+ years old woman would rarely wear! Its all part of the complex make-up of being a Transvestite. Listen I even get a thrill out of the constricting sensations from elements of shapewear…such a pervert!
This is why we are so difficult to comprehend and nigh on impossible to explain to the public at large. There is no biological reason for being a Transvestite just a deep-seated instinctive thing inside us that needs from time to time to be sated. For me long may we remain in the ‘specialist’ sector such as Trekkies, Goths,  Steampunk, Train-spotters and the like. We must not be confused with the bulk of Transgenderists. They have an in-built female drive that says they are a woman. Yes Transvestism might be a start to help them down the line of their gender dysphoria but it’s not really a solution. They really need to be female not just feminine. Its a bit like so many Transvestites go to Gay bars primarily because they are more accepting of them than the mainstream,  even though the bulk of Trannies say they are not gay!  It is our personal expression and being with like-minded people who enjoy a similar label is part of our fun!
So that’s my skew on this marvellous sexy life of the Transvestite.  Now I will await the hatred and invective bile from the people who hate the label Transvestite and Tranny. I love them, sets me apart! XXX